Peoria Bar Review

Peoria Institution: Friendly Valley

2011-07-14T17:58:00.005-05:00

Located at 3708 N. Meadowbrook Lane in Peoria, the Valley is one of the longest standing bars in the city and one of the most unique. The building is a Quonset hut which, if you don't know anything about has a pretty interesting history. According to Wikipedia...

Between 150,000 and 170,000 Quonset huts were manufactured during World War II. After the war, the U.S. military sold the surplus Quonset huts to the public for $1,000 each^{[citation needed]}—this approached the cost of a small home.^{[citation needed]} Many are still standing throughout the United States.

A quick and lazy google search didn't turn up much for Quonset huts that have been turned into bars but I'm guessing that that number is pretty low, which only adds to the uniqueness of the Valley. Also, the fact that Peoria used to have two Quonset hut bars probably makes it the coolest city ever. Remember the Locus Point Tap? The hut still stands but the bar closed its doors about six years ago. I was there and remember patrons burning the roadside wooden sign that directed weary travelers on Route 8 to the old tavern, a sad sight indeed. By the way, the place is for sale if anyone is interested in returning the bar to its former glory.

As for the Valley, it's still going strong after about 40 years with no sign of slowing down. The beers are cheap, the barflies are friendly, and the jukebox consistently cranks out some of the best tunes in town. This, despite the fact that the Valley recently made the transition from the old school flip-disc style juke to the ~~fancy new internet jukebox that everyone agrees is a great thing~~ piece of shit internet juke that allows people to play whatever God-awful shit they can find. These things suck a big bag of dicks but fortunately for you dear reader, you won't have to worry about hearing shit music at the Valley because most of the folks here have pretty damn good taste.

The bar is a straight shot from left to right with the right side wrapping into the wall to make a path towards the bathrooms. The bar seats about 15 and there's not a table to be found. Above the bar is the fire marshall's maximum capacity sign that reads 48. Are you fucking kidding me? If there were 48 people in this bar it would be so packed there's a good chance it would implode due to the pressure.

Speaking of the folks at the Valley, they are pretty friendly as long as you don't ruffle any feathers, which you wouldn't want to do anyway right? The average age here for patrons is certainly older than the norm but that's what makes it fun. On my last trip there, Zig-Zag (remember that asshole?) and I ordered shots of whiskey and were asked if we wanted them chilled only after the matronly bartender had poured them. Now normally, less than desirable service like this would be annoying but at the Valley it simply makes it more endearing. Not to mention the fact that chilling shots of whiskey is boozehound sacrilege. It's the drinking equivalent of ordering a filet mignon well done and with ketchup.

Side note - On a recent trip to Crusen's (yes I actually go in to the belly of beast from time to time), I ordered a Jameson only to find that the bottle amongst others, is kept in the beer cooler. So, even if you wanted whiskey straight up you can't have it, they're automatically chilled. Yet another reason why that bar sucks monkey lungs (copyright Marty Wombacher 2010.)

The inside of the bar is adorned with vintage beer and booze paraphernalia, most of which are no newer than the mid 90's. Included in this collection is the world's sweetest Miller High Life sign, I'll let you find it for yourself. Behind the bar is a large collection of union stickers representing just about all locals, including the stagehands. There is a pool table and a dart board to mess around on but space is tight so you might want to think about your leaves to line up the best possible shot.

Another unique thing about the Valley is that they have a backyard. Yes, a bar with its own back yard. It's a pretty big one too and a peaceful place to hang out. As a matter of fact, there aren't too many other better places to be than relaxing under the limbs of giant mulberry and pin oak trees with green grass beneath your feet on a cool summer night out behind the Valley. Everytime I think about back home, it's cool and breezy. And if you're in to trend sports that reached their peak in the late 80's there's a sand volleyball pit to keep you busy. I think it's more for looks though, as I've never seen anyone engaged in a game. Sometimes the Valley will have fires, something they must get a permit for so don't walk out back and just start burning stuff in the fire pit, not a good idea.

The owner is present most nights, either sitting at the bar or smoking a cancer stick on the deck attached to the right side of the building. If you look above the co-ed sink outside the bathrooms, there's a brilliant picture of him sitting on the toilet, drinking a Bud Light, and holding a Bible. The caption reads "the Lord works in mysterious ways." He certainly does.

I can't say with any certainty that the Valley is a neighborhood bar because there really isn't a neighborhood anywhere nearby. It's simply an oddity that folks driving to or from Landmark stop and have a few in just because it's there and it looks friendly, I guess. What the Valley most certainly is is an easy going place filled with folks just trying to have a good time. That, and it's a Peoria Institution.

So, if you've never been or been a thousand times, swing by the Valley and toss a few back because places like this are few and far between so let's enjoy them while we can.

Cheers to Friendly Valley and cheers to dives everywhere that are hanging on in these tough times.

Follow Derrick Hart, The Mad Gleams, and Dave BIxby on Tour

2011-06-22T15:01:00.001-05:00

Summer is finally here (I guess) and my good friend and son of Oswego N.Y. Derrick Hart is departing for his East Coast tour. Joining him on the trip is the talented duo of Allison Baker and Ezra Giovanetto who make up the Mad Gleams. Also on tour with the group is folk legend Dave Bixby who will performing for the first time in many years. The tour kicked off last night with Dave performing to a packed house along with the Mad Gleams, 91 South, The Dirty Gentlemen, Peter Adriel, and Trey Mowder at the Red Barn. A good time was had by all and if you weren't there, you truly missed out.

Here's some links for you to check out.

The facebook event page that has all tour dates and locations

The Mad Gleams website

Dave Bixby MySpace

Derrick Hart's youtube channel

Keep checking back here for updates and photos from the tour!

Derrick sent me an email today letting me know about the first stop on their tour, here ya go!

AWWWW!!!! last night's show was killer!!!! attached is a pic of the venue. we opened up for south park. well we didn't play music or anything. i just layed on Ezra & Allison's (the mad gleams) couch & tried to watch south park. i didn't make through the episode but dream's of kyle's dead grandma somehow lead to me meeting a really intense black dude with a red shirt & no pants who tested my hand shaking skills of which i proved myself worthy. whatever. nothing racialist.

today we head out to a place called FRONT PORCH MUSIC http://www.frontporchmusic.com/ for a cozy open mic situation at 7pm. address is 505 E. Lincolnway Valparaiso, IN 46383

Laziness Update/News Around Town/This is how you found my blog?

2011-06-21T14:44:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a little quiet around here lately but I just wanted to reassure my legion of readers that all is well and I've just been really lazy lately.

First off, the PBR has reached a pretty meaningless milestone by exceeding the 1000 friend mark on the book of faces. What does this mean? Well, I'm not really sure. I do know for a fact that hardly any of the folks that are friends with me on facebook even read this blog which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I understand that sometimes people send friend requests to folks and then never really interact with them and use the site as a networking tool of sorts. I'm pretty sure however that it's obvious there is no such person as "Peoria Bar Review." After reaching the 1000 friend mark I asked how many people actually read my blog. I got five comments, all said they do except for one guy who said "I didn't even know you had a blog." Really? So the Peoria Bar Review is just a meaningless facebook page that exists to gain friends and randomnly comment on people's shitty status updates. Fuck you, just fuck you, you're an idiot.

Now, beyond facebook, there are a myriad of ways people stumble across this blog. Sometimes it's a picture or story that I've linked to and other times, people find the PBR via a search term. These terms run the gamut from the mundane to the insane and downright weird. I've selected a few from my recent trip to statcounter, let's examine them one at a time shall we?*

*I fully understand that this is a cheap way to find something to write about but it's okay because it's not like I have a thousand people a day reading this blog right? And even if I did they would be mostly mouthbreathing douchebags that found this blog via the only website they ever visit (facebook). Seriously folks, there's a big beautiful ~~world~~ internet out there so get off the book of faces and go find something else to distract you from your job.

douchebags in bars - I don't really understand this one. Are you looking for a definition of douchebags in bars? If not, you're not using your typing sticks incorrectly. Try "places to go to avoid douchebags." In Peoria that will be difficult but lucky for you I know of a blog that will point you in the right direction (hint: you're reading it right now.)

NEST BAR IN PEORIA TO PICK UP GIRLS - I understand spelling mistakes are common but you couldn't even get the first letter of the first word of your google inquiry right? Fucks sake! And what's with the CAPS? Did you think that using all capital letters would get you the most accurate result? Some people, I tell ya!

is it possible to hack into bar jukebox - Now we're getting somewhere. I want to know this person because I've thought about this before. With so many bars switching to fancy internet jukeboxes we've all had to listen to a far greater amount of shitty music than ever before. If it is possible to do this I would like to know how, that way I can ruin some one's night by cutting off "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" and replacing it with "Mountain Jam" just to make sure I won't have to listen to any more shitty country for the next 30 minutes.

best illinois glory holes - Whoa there buddy slow down now. First off, how do you rank a glory hole? I guess a smooth cut would be preferred over jagged one. I guess you'd want it to be a clean stall too. Perhaps somewhere out there someone has a blog that ranks glory holes in Illinois but I don't want to know about it, you go check that out.

bars in peoria open sunday mornings - We have a winner! I like to think that this guy was planning a non-traditional bachelor party. You know, bar hopping at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning, finding some truly haggard bar sluts to get lap dances from while downing shots of Jack and Keystone on draft? Sounds like a fun time to me! So, Sunday morning bar crawler, if you're reading this shoot me an email and we'll hook up, after mass of course.

To close out, I wanted to link to my good friend Marty Wombacher's site Marty After Dark. Unfortunately it's not all sunshine and roses in New York as the high cost of real estate is driving out dive bars and institutions on a daily basis and the most recent casualty is the venerable Mars Bar. Marty went there for what will probably be their final art show and you should go check it out.

Mars Bar R.I.P

Kelleher's

2011-05-10T16:03:00.002-05:00

The entrance to Kelleher's as captured by PBR photog and all-around pro Nyletak

BOOTHS!

A view from the top

Kelleher's, located at 619 SW Water St. in downtown Peoria, has become one of the more popular destinations in downtown Peoria. Located in an old warehouse (I know that's a crappy description, go to their website to read the whole history I'm lazy), the bar does it's best impression of a traditional Irish pub while still offering better than average pub grub.

One of my favorite aspects of this bar is the sense of history it invokes. Now, if you find yourself at Kelleher's on a Friday or Saturday night, you might not be able to pick up on it because of the collar-shirted masses clamoring around the bar. Not only is the building an ancient hulking mass of brick, mortar and steel but just about every nook and cranny is filled with historic artifacts. Some represent the old sod of Ireland but fear not Peoriaphiles, there's enough River City history in here to occupy yourself with.

A shot of downtown Peoria before the new courthouse and Twin Towers

I've seen this picture before and I think it's of a bar in Peoria but I'm not sure where. Help me out Peoria!

A shot of the Gipps Brewery baseball team proves that beer and baseball just go together

Here's another one for you PeoriaKid, I don't think you'll be getting your hands on this sign anytime soon!

Here's another bit of history for ya - the bricks that make up the patio outside the front entrance and those that serve as a sidewalk through the center of the parking lot came from heaping mounds near the river. I'm not sure where owners Pat Sullivan and John Hunt got these mounds from but I do distinctly remember seeing workers rummage through them to pull out the old bricks. Most are Purington Pavers which were used to construct most city streets in Peoria but occassionally, you'll find a Lant and Morris or a Springfield Granite.

Check the history son

Some streets downtown (definitely Water St.) still have the old pavers underneath several layers of asphalt. Eventually, it would be nice to see that crap ripped up and replaced with the old pavers, it would only add to the historic atmosphere of Water St.

Another great thing about Kelleher's is the bar itself, it has no rival in Peoria. On the business side, where all the booze is held, is an enormous wooden structure that runs the length of the bar and extends what seems like eight feet in the air. Keeping with Irish tradition (or something like that), the entire middle section of the structure is filled with whiskey, lots of it. I'm not sure how many different varieties of the stuff there is but my guess is at least 35. Flanking the whiskey on either side is your standard (for higher class bars at least) rows of flavored and specialty vodkas and a few tequilas.

Speaking of specialty vodkas, when did we decide that there needs to be a flavored version of every vodka brand? And just where does this trend stop? Apparently, the sky is the limit as shown by Kelleher's Outrageous Bloody Mary. What's so special about their version of the classic hangover remedy? Well, you can choose between Bacon or Smoked Salmon-flavored vodka. Let that soak in for a minute. Bacon. And. Smoked Salmon. Vodka. What was bloody mary mix, vodka, celery salt, pickles, olives, and celery not enough for your drink? I guess it does lack the protein provided by bacon flavored vodka but good lord what's next a dinner roll? Rant over.

Staying on the subject of semi-over the top drinks, if you're trying to get blasted with two of your closest friends, check out the Grape Ape. The drink combines Buru Citrus Vodka, Fanta Grape Soda on the rocks into one glass. Three straws are provided so you and your partners can dispose of the drink with extreme prejudice.

Kelleher's has about ten revolving beers on tap an bunch of bottles but you'll always be able to get the standards - Guinness, Harp, and Smithwick's. On my trip there, I had the Two Brothers Monarch Wit ($3) and my guest had Left Hand Brewing Co's Good JuJu ($3). There's always different specials so you'll just have to check their website or call the bar to find out what the good deals are. If you're not used to dropping $3 a beer and $5 a shot, you'll definitely want to pay attention to the specials as it's pretty easy to rack up a hefty bar tab.

As for entertainment, there's a few TV's on either side of the bar as well as Golden Tee and a shuffleboard table, somewhat of an oddity for a place like this. The table is on the second level all the way in the back and looks out over the rear area of the bar. It's definitely the most unique shuffleboard in Peoria due to its location. The third Saturday of every month is "St. Practice Day" with $3 Jameson drinks, corned beef and cabbage, and $3 pints of Guinness, Smithwick's, and Harp. The Flynn Irish dancers jig around for a while and sometimes, (I think) the Bogside Zukes play.

I've never had the food at Kelleher's but it seems like pretty standard pub food but with an Irish twist. On Monday nights you can get a fried chicken dinner with a choice of fries or mashed taters and gravy with bread and cole slaw - sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

Fifteen years ago, there wasn't a whole lot going on at the corner of State and Water except for Rizzi's. But Pat Sullivan and John Hunt have done an admirable job in revamping their block all while respecting the history of the buildings that their businesses occupy.

Kelleher's is an upscale bar and restaurant, a traditional Irish pub it is not. You won't find any blue collar guys from the neighborhood tipping a few back after work. I understand what the owners were going for and the bar's atmosphere is one of a kind but if you want to down some pints at somewhere that truly resembles (again, not a whole lot of working men here either) the public houses of the old country, you're better off heading up Main St. to Ulrich's Rebellion Room a bar that was formerly owned by Pat's brother - Mike "Sully" Sullivan.

Cheers to Kelleher's!

WEEKLY SPECIALS
M - $3 select drafs
T - $3 20 oz. Boston Lagers
W - $10 domestic buckets (5,) $3 Absolut drinks
Th - $3 Goose Islands, $10 domestic buckets, $3 Pinnacle Vodka drinks
F - $3 Grape Ape shots, $3 Sobieski vodka drinks
S - $3 Two Brothers drafts, $3 Jameson drinks

Ask The Chief Episode One

2011-05-03T15:37:00.000-05:00

Unless this guy is an expert at kneeling and holding a clipboard, I really don't know what his expertise would be. Looking like a douche maybe?

Here at the PBR, I rarely get emails from people that have questions or comments but recently a gent named Ryan Norgart a.k.a. PeoriaKid sent me an email with some questions about some of the South Peoria dives I've reviewed here. Here's what Ryan had to say...

I just discovered your blog. I love it. I moved to South Carolina a few years back, but I grew up Peoria. I went to Woodruff and then Bradley and have always loved Peoria's drinking/ bar/ distilling/ hookering/ brewing/ and generally shady history. During and shortly after college I started exploring Peoria's diverse bar scene. I grew up about 2 blocks from the Red Barn and it has always been my "home" bar. I can still walk in the door today (after having left town some time ago) and know everyone at the bar.

Anyway, back to my point. Back in about 1997 or 98, a couple of friends and I started doing our own exploratory bar tours. We would basically drink our way around town trying to hit as many bars as we could that we had never been to before. However, there were a few places that I was always curious about but was a little nervous about checking out due to the part of town they are in combined with the fact that I am white. A few that come to mind are Dome, Earp's hideaway, Jan's, Roger's, and Garden Gate. After reading your reviews I want to check them out more then ever. Especially Dome tap. Like I said, I love Peoria's brewing history and I sort of collect old Gipp's stuff. I never knew Dome had the Gipp's tile entryway.

So, do you think a regular guy (Im not a douche, definitely not a hipster, not from Chicago, etc) would ever have any problems at these type of places? I have been to plenty of dive joints around Peoria, in some shady areas, but to me, places like the Dome sorta take things to another level of ghettoness. (due to the neighborhood) Im not stupid and have decent street smarts, know when to keep my mouth shut, etc. So, have you ever felt uneasy in any of these places?

Well, you asked for it and here ya go Ryan, I hope this helps!

Dome Tap - The Dome is a great place for an afternoon beer and with all the pay-out poker machines they have you might end up getting one for free. I've been to the Dome on Friday and Saturday nights pretty late and I was DEFINITELY the only white person in there other than the girlfriend of some black dude. I've never had any problems with anybody other than one time some guy kept trying to get me to buy him a drink because the bartender had cut him off. My girlfriend was even with me at the time and no one fucked with her. That being said, it's probably safer to get outta there before 10 or so. While I've had a good experience there I could totally see some guy wondering what the fuck a 27 year-old white dude is doing in there that late and wanting me out of there. Maybe I've been lucky and maybe people can tell that I'm no threat to anyone and not worth beating up, (like I said white, 5'7" 150 = you've proved nothing by whooping my ass.)

Earp's - Basically like most bars in this area, Earps is a white trash hangout and honestly, I've felt more uncomfortable in these types of places than I ever have at "black" bars like Dome Tap and LA's. This place is alright, definitely a neighborhood joint and you'll get some looks on the weekend when ALL the regulars are there. If you're gonna get fucked with in this bar, it'll probably be over a pool game.

Jan's - Don't be fooled by the location, Jan's is absolutely harmless. Any bar where a 60 something year-old lady who isn't even 5 feet tall tends bar on a Saturday night is somewhere you don't have to worry about. Jan's is a neighborhood place for sure but this is the bar where the laid back folks from the 'hood go, while Earp's is generally reserved for the rowdy croud. Last Saturday night when I was in there (from 9 - 10) and Jan's grandkids were playing pool in the back room, nothing to worry about here.

Roger's - I've hung out at Roger's Place quite a bit and I've never had any problems. The key to avoiding trouble here is to get in good with the bartender (Booter) because there are definitely some crazy fuckers that go in here. Like neck tattoo, coked out, crazy eyed people. But Booter keeps everything under control, he doesn't put up with any shit and there are several "normal" (and I use that word VERY liberally) regulars that..well, regulate on any trouble makers. Also, this bar always seems to be busiest in the after work hours (4 - 7) after that, it's pretty dead. Even on the weekends, it's rare that Roger's is open much past 11.

Garden Gate - Another South Peoria classic that's patronized by (mostly) older white guys. A bunch of country on the juke box and old timers sippin' their beers. The Gate is really a day-time bar, they close early at night because they're afraid of getting robbed. If you're gonna get fucked with in here it'll be because you told some guy that his racist joke wasn't funny..and that he's a racist and you're not. You're better off to just fake-laugh awkwardly and change the subject.

Well Ryan, I hope this post answered all your questions. I certainly did my best and if any of you out there on the internets have questions shoot me an email, message me on facebook, or send me some snail mail to 1060 W. Addison St. Chicago, Il.

That's all for now people, if you want to hang out, you can find me at Dorothy's this Friday or Saturday night between the hours of 8 and 11. Cheers!

Dorothy's Dew Drop Inn

2011-04-28T13:32:00.000-05:00

Yah, we're open, why would you think otherwise? Yah, I guess it kinda looks like an abandoned building, maybe we should do some remodeling HAHAHAHAHAHA YAH RIGHT!

Dorothy's is located at 1819 S. Laramie St. and is probably the southernmost bar in the city of Peoria. The only challenger to that claim might be Cheers and Beers on SW Adams. The tavern is jammed into a run-down strip of buildings in the southern corner of the neighborhood which probably has a name that has long been forgotten save by the elder residents of the area. If you drive past the tavern heading south, Laramie St. dead ends into Trewyn Park and on a winter's day with no leaves on the trees you can see I-474. If you didn't grow up in this area or aren't a weirdo like me who drives around the usually ignored neighborhoods of Peoria, you would probably never know about this place. You can thank me for telling you about it by sending me cash, thanks.

I've only been to Dorothy's twice and have literally had two bottles of Bud Light ($2) during my trips there. I'm going to say that the Dew Drop Inn is Peoria's number one dive bar for several reasons. The criteria for great dive bars is as follows.

Location - must be a bad one
Oddities - weird shit laying around that you don't usually see in a bar
Patrons - neighborhood lifers and usually several bitter old men in the middle of the day
Employees - gruff and workmanlike or friendly and talkative, dive bars can go either way on this one
Cleanliness - there is no such thing

We've already covered the location and while it may not be the worst neighborhood in Peoria it certainly ranks pretty high. When you first walk into Dorothy's, you will be confronted by a ~~vicious guard dog~~ yipping Chihuahua named Charlie. After a minute or two and several attempts to send him to the back room, Charlie will eventually give up and trot away, letting out a few more barks as he goes. Now, with that out of the way you can have a look around. One of the first things I noticed was the 90's era desktop and monitor at which Dorothy was seated playing solitaire. The main area of the bar is occupied by a pool table, a recliner that looks like a it came straight from Al Bundy's house, and a small table with four chairs. Why there is a recliner there, I don't know but one day I will sit in it and it will be glorious. The bar itself runs almost the full length of the building and is unique in its construction and by unique I mean crappy. When you sit at a bar stool, you must spread your legs like you're on a horse because the bar is one long rectangle with no ledge that hangs over your lap like, oh I don't know, every bar I've ever seen.

According to manta.com, Dorothy's has an estimated annual income of $75,000 and has approximately two employees. Those two employees would be Dorothy and a man I'm assuming is her husband, a gruff looking guy who appears to be in his 60's and probably has more fingers than teeth. Dorothy herself is friendly looking grandma type with her gray hair fashioned in an equally grandma-like perm. She can't be more than five feet tall and looks like she's dealt with a lot of bullshit in her life which isn't surprising considering her occupation.

The decor of the bar is pretty spartan, with most of the nick-nacks having to do with either booze or Nascar. On my last trip there, the old man was watching Sprint Cup practice (that's right practice) despite the fact that it was in March and there were plenty of important college basketball games on. If there isn't any Nascar event being televised, you're likely to find either Dr. Phil or Walker Texas Ranger on the tube. I doubt if either Dorothy or her husband work during the later hours on the weekends but I could be wrong. I'd really like to see what the crowd is like on a Friday or Saturday night but that will just have to wait for now.

If you've never been to Dorothy's you really must check it out. If the neighborhood gives you the willies, just stop in during the week for a nice afternoon beer, you won't be disappointed. The Dew Drop Inn is carrying on the tradition of classic South Peoria dive bars and in my opinion is the diviest of them all.

Cheers to Dorothy's for keeping the Peoria dive bar tradition alive and well!

News Around Town/Laziness Update/LET'S GO HAWKS

2011-04-22T15:43:00.000-05:00

This could be Cory Schneider or Roberto Luongo, either way you get the point. Fuck you Vancouver!

First things first, sorry for the delayed absence, cocaine is a hell of a drug. There's been a lot going on in Peoria lately and I wanted to let you in on some of the goings on.

But first, I must congratulate the Chicago Blackhawks for finally realizing they are in control of their own destiny and winning the last two games against the hated Vancouver Canucks. Now, I don't know if the Men of Four Feathers will do what has been done only four times in NHL history but I certainly have a good feeling about this series. If the Hawks win, it would without a doubt be a far greater miracle than last year's "A Sports Miracle in Three Acts/Periods," which, if you haven't read, should really go check that out. So, here's to you Blackhawks, let's make this the swan song of that snivelling pussy and Borat look-a-like Roberto Luongo's career. LET'S GO HAWKS!

On to some other things

1. Willie ain't dead yet motherfuckers and that's a good thing. I look forward to a speedy recovery and a return to the streets of our Fair City.

2. Toaster's II, located at 7719 N. University (in between Elliott's and Steak 'N Shart) is now Pitcher's Sports Bar and Grill. In the past couple of years this place has been Surf Island, Toasters II, and some others I can't remember. It's not a bad location and I don't really understand why someone hasn't been able to succeed there. I do know one thing, there are more than enough taverns in Peoria with either "sports bar" or "bar and grill" in their title and I just don't think we need another one. I hope they succeed but can't someone think of something original for a bar name? I mean think about it, what if you named it something like Crazy Mike's Liver Killing Spot and Chicken Hut? How could you avoid going to that bar? Obviously, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover but I think I know what I'm going to get with a name like Pitchers Bla Bla Bla. Seriously though, good luck to the owners of the bar, it's a tough time out there for taverns.

3. There's a really cool thing going on downtown, especially for Peoria. An art gallery has opened up for the month of April (sorry for the late notice) and you should really go check it out. It's located right across the street from the Civic Center and has a big sign above the entrance that says ART SHOW. Read the article in today's Journal Star to learn more. You should definitely go down there if, for no other reason, than to view the amazing Gonzo art stylings of friend of the PBR and all-around good guy Eddyfuckinartmachine!

That's it for now, keep drinking it's one of the only things keeping this economy going. Cheers!

And don't forget to keep tabs on Marty!

Champs West

2011-03-19T14:52:00.001-05:00

Located at 515 N. Western Ave., Champs West is the little brother of the former Champs bar which was located somewhere downtown. Sorry, I don't know where, that was before my time. Pay attention to your side streets heading south on Western because it's easy to drive right past the small bar, trust me, I've done it a million times. You'll need to take a right into the parking lot just before Kellogg Ave. to get to your destination.

It's interesting that I put this review off for about a month and in the mean time, Luciano wrote his own...weird. Anyway, a few weeks back I had the pleasure of attending a poetry open mic night at this small West Peoria tavern and it was one of the more unique things I've ever experienced in a bar here, or anywhere else or that matter.

First off, let me just say that Champs has the look and feel of a real old school neighborhood tavern, despite the fact that it's located in a strip mall. By this, I mean that the bar has the number one requirement of a no-frills, solid boozer. It's dark as fuck. This is what bars used to and should still be like; dark, small, and friendly. There's other bars in the Peoria area that meet the PBR's "Dark Bar" requirements, but I can't think of any that fit it as well as Champs. It probably has something to do with the tinted windows that face Western Ave. and block out the garish neon lights of the liqour store and fast food joints surrounding the bar. Seriously, if you drop a quarter to pay for your beer, don't bother trying to find it, just grab another one and let that one be your sacrifice to the beer gods.

Besides, being dark, Champs has another characteristic of the classic neighborhood tavern; a weird mix of people from the neighborhood and all walks of life. Obviously, on my trip there, the crowd was made up mostly of poets, writers, and other artsy types but there were still some working class drinkers hanging out and exposing themselves to some local talent. This is cool because a lot of places that are after-work-beer-joints for the working men of Peoria wouldn't necessarily put up with a situation like a poetry open mic. As a matter of fact, I can think of quite a few places where people get their pubes caught up in a zipper because there happens to be a band at their bar, thereby making the jukebox unavailable. Cough Last Chance Cough!

Only, two "regular" looking type guys seemed a little out of place. They stayed for a few beers and exchanged "what the fuck?" looks toward each other before leaving.

Champs also hosts the occasional music acts in its back room (the poetry takes place front and center and, sometimes right on the fucking bar.) According to friend of the PBR Izzy, Champs used to be a haven for the Peoria punk scene back in the "punk rock days." I've heard this from quite a few other folks so, it's probably true.

Luciano mentioned the fact that Champs is one of the few taverns around where you can stop in and grab a quick lunch. Being a fan of lunch-time beers, I am in support of this forgotten concept and encourage other taverns to do the same. I've never eaten at Champs but will provide a review A.S.A.P.

Drinks are relatively cheap at Champs. On the night I went there (Monday) PBR cans were $2 0r $2.50. Sorry I can't remember the actual price, I've kind of fallen out of habit with my bar-reviewing skills in the past couple months. I'll get the weekly specials to you soon.

If you've never been to Champs, you really should go check it out. The small bar can get overshadowed by the Big Three of West Peoria (Mike's, Owl's Nest, Tartan Inn) but is a great bar in its own right and its uniqueness is added to by their support of artistic endeavors. Champs is a classic Peoria bar and is held in the highest esteem here at the PBR.

Cheers to Champs and cheers to the poets, writers, musicians, and artists of all kind here in the River City!

P.S. Special thanks go out to friend of the PBR, David Von Behren for extending the invitation to Fontana and I so we could experience one of the more unique nights out I've had in a while. Thanks DVB!

I recorded several videos of poet and bartender at Champs, Will Ankrum's poems but couldn't get them to upload, I know I suck. But then I realized that it's probably something you need to experience in person. The poetry open mic takes place on the second Monday of every month. In the meantime, check out this video shot six months ago from pjstar.com

St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T06:49:00.000-05:00

Well, it's finally here, ~~the day we all celebrate the introduction of Christianity to the Irish people by St. Patrick in 432 a.d.~~ the drunkest day of the year and the day when all the amatuers come out to play. Most people don't even remember why we celebrate this day and just use it as an excuse to take off work and get shit-housed which is fine but I wanted to share some facts with you about St. Patty's Day that you may find interesting.

St. Patrick was kidnapped by Irish pirates at 15 and sold into slavery, only later did he become a Catholic priest and return to the island to preach about the Jesus.

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated on 17 March, the day of his death.

St. Patrick used the shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity to the Irish people

Originally, blue was the color associated with St. Patrick's Day.

Parades, eating corned beef and cabbage, and excessive drinking are an American invention. In Ireland, St. Patrick's Day is treated like any other Saints' Day with family get togethers and an after mass trip to the pub. You're also more likely to find pork or chicken on the dinner table rather than corned beef.

For a long time (until the 1970's) pubs in Ireland were closed for the holiday because drinking was getting out of hand, hard to believe right?

One of my favorite hockey teams, the Toronto Maple Leafs, were once known as the Toronto St. Patrick's and wore this awesome jersey -

In 1962, sewage workers in Chicago used green dye to check for sewage discharges and had the idea to turn the river green for the holiday. Originally, the river was dyed green for a week but now, the coloring only lasts for a few hours. (LAME)

The longest running St. Patrick's Day parade is in New York (The City of) and has been going on since 1762. The 69th Infantry Regiment, otherwise known as the Fighting 69th, leads the parade with their team of Irish Wolfhounds. Every year, the Commisioner of the parade asks the commanding officer of the Fighting 69th if they are ready. And every year the response is "the 69th is always ready." The 69th is the original holder of the nickname "the Fighting Irish" and have seen combat in the Civil War (where Confederate general Robert E. Lee gave them the Fighting 69th nickname), WWI, WWII, Operation Iraqi Freedom, and Afghanistan.

Got that? Now you can share all this St. Patty's Day knowledge with everyone at the bar instead of pretending like you know what you're talking about. This year, I'm headed to the Irish Villa to witness the festivities there before heading to Main St. to watch the parade. And just to let the wonderful City of Peoria and their finest boys in blue know, I will be drinking my beer (and my flask) on the street as I watch said parade.

I hope everyone has a great day and just to let you in on something, there will be an amazing show at the Red Barn tonight featuring: Jazzapocalypse, the slam peotry stylings of Seth Walker, Derrick Hart and Eddyfuckinartmachine, and the Dirty Gentlemen. If you've never seen any of these bands, your in for a real treat. The show starts at 7 p.m. sharp and there's a $5 cover. See ya there!

Here's some music for you to put in your ear holes today

The Pogues - Streams of Whiskey

The Pogues - Dirty Old Town

Dropkick Murphys - The Fighting 69th

Dropkick Murphys - Barroom Hero

Dropkick Murphys - Wild Rover

Slainte!

Random Thoughts/Gay Bars Are Fun Even if You're Not Gay

2011-03-07T21:05:00.001-06:00

Things that are missing from this picture: Gay people, drinks with straws in them, a bar top dancer, several Republican congressmen, Fontana on a Monday night.

It's amazing what a debilitating cold can do to one's drinking habits. I for one haven't had a drink since approximately 1:30 a.m. Sunday morning. For me, this is a long time. I probably won't be able to drink again until at least Thursday if I want to kick this thing so, it should be fun to see what that's like.

First, I wanted to congratulate a friend of the PBR who recently returned to town and until last week, had not cemented her status as a Peorian. Until last Monday, that is. You see, you really can't consider yourself a Peorian until you find yourself downtown, drunk, on a Monday night with just a few hours before you have to go to work. This story of gluttonous boozing starts as most do, at the insistence of a gay man. And by the insistence of a gay man, I mean I was dragged out of the bar by my collar and drove down the hill while my two friends (both girls) stood helplessly by.

The night started out at Blue and finished at Diesel which is a ridiculous place for many reasons. First, no matter what night of the week it is, it feels like a Saturday night. Everyone is dancing and drinking like crazy and just generally having a good time. Two, it looks and feels like no other bar in Peoria with the exception of whatever that club in the alley next to Sully's is currently named (except way less rapey). Three, the drinks are super strong - with alcohol, not rufies. Four, there are more hot chicks in a gay bar than there are crazy points in "Tyra Banks' Game of Life." (Copyright 2011 Peoria Bar Review)

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention something that Fontana came up with. Our friend Zig Zag (who, if you don't remember you can get re-acquainted with here) attracts a certain amount of attention from gay guys. According to Fontana, he's like a "bird feeder that the squirrels can't get to." I think this is an accurate description with the exception that squirrels should be able to tell the difference from themselves and birds, while as... I just lost where I was going with that. Anyway, maybe you had to be there but I'll always get that joke and now so can you.

Diesel, like most gay bars I've been to is generally, a great place to hang out, as long as you can deal with being hit on. For most people, this isn't that big of a deal but because of my devastatingly good looks, it took me a while to learn how to deal with all that attention. I'll pause for all of you who know me to get done laughing. -------

Ok, it's not that funny, knock it off already! Eventually, I'll do a review on each of these establishments (like you've never heard that before) but until then, here's a list of great gay bars in Peoria that always offer a good time.

Diesel - this place is open till 4 a.m. every day of the week, Every. Day. 'nuff said

Buddies - Buddies has great deals on draft beer during the week and is a great place to sneak off to during the slow innings of a Chiefs game (it's right down the street). Also, Buddies is quite possibly the cleanest and most well put together bar in all of downtown. Simply put, it's a classy joint.

Sparky's - located on Wisconsin Ave. in the East Bluff, Sparky's is bookended by two lesser known bars (I honestly can't remember either of their names right now). The bar used to be called KC Legends and has some early 90's-ish murals on the side of the building paying homage to Chicago sports teams. Most nights, there's a DJ and/or karaoke and a pretty good crowd around the pool table. There's lots of Cardinals stuff too so, it's probably a good place to go and root for the Birds. Sparky's is a great place in a part of town that isn't really known for bars. Frankly, most people don't even know it's there. But if you haven't been, you should really check it out, I've always had a good time there

Elbo Room - while not technically a gay bar, the Elbo Room draws a pretty good LGBT crowd, due mostly to their karaoke policy - pretty much 7 p.m. till 2 a.m. every day of the week.

I can't really think of any that I missed but if I did, feel free to say so in the comments.

A few other things
1 - I've started a facebook page to gain support for constructing a statue of Richard Pryor in downtown Peoria. Check it out here.
2 - Marty is going strong with his new site M.A.D. make sure you check in every day to keep up.
3 - it seems some folks are just starting to get caught up here. Check out the new comments on these four posts. I'll make it a surprise for you - One...Two...Three...Four

Links/News Around Town Part 4,365

2011-02-18T16:57:00.000-06:00

Yah..I've been watching a lot of Jersey Shore lately. What's that? You don't what that is? KINDLY LEAVE AMERICA SIR!

Ollo. I'm sure by now, you've all heard the tale of ~~a woman~~ the drunk-ass crazy lady who installed a drive-thru window/garage door in the side of beloved West Peoria watering hole, the Owl's Nest. If not, go read Luciano's article.

Once again, the moronic pjstar commenters used this as an opportunity to bash Peoria and it's lovely sister West Peoria. I really don't have the energy to go through and make fun of all these people and I'm really starting to have a lot of contempt for them. One common theme amongst those who trash our Fair City is that most of them DON'T EVEN FUCKING LIVE HERE! Sweet Jesus, I swear that most of them live in Morton or Washington or East What the Fuck Ever You Call It just so they can stick their noses up and say "that's why I live in bla bla bla." As far as I'm concerned, you can go sit on the wrong end of the barstool. If you don't have anything good to say then shut the fuck up, it's all been said before.

On a more positive note, my good friend Marty Wombacher has a new project that seems like it could lead to just about anything (maybe even criminal stuff depending on how Marty's day went.) It's called Marty After Dark and you should go check it out. Also, find the Marty After Dark facebook page and hit like or love or I have a boner or whatever it is that you do on the book of faces. Personally, I'm glad that Marty is back in action. Since he completed his 365 Bars journey I feel like something has been missing from my daily routine. Another thing that's cool is now, I get to start from day one with Marty, instead of finding out about it half way through, which is what happened with aguywalksinto365bars.com. So, thanks Marty and god speed!

Finally, I had the privelege to join David Von Behren at Champs West on Monday night and it was a turly unique experience. A review is coming soon but for now let me just say that this place is very interesting. On the second Monday of every month, a poetry open mic is held. There is some great talent there and if you're at all into poetry or just want to do something different, you should go and check out Champs. To get a better feel for what the atmosphere of the bar is on non-poetry reading nights, I'll probably be hanging out there in the near future. So, be patient, it's probably going to be a week or two before I can provide the ~~millions of readers~~ 12 people that read this blog with a proper post.

Cheers for now!

Dear people who put money into jukeboxes,

2011-01-20T16:40:00.003-06:00

The fact that this man paid money to let all the world know his true feelings about Nickleback is great. I would be friends with this guy even if seemed kind of rapey.

Enough with the Kid Rock already. I get it, he's America's Sweetheart. But if I have to listen to "Born Free" again I'm gonna shit in my hand and throw it at whomever played that song. I'm not saying I don't like Kid Rock as a person, he's probably a really cool guy but his music sucks a bag of dicks. Taking other people's songs and cloning them with new (and crappier) lyrics is dumb and a waste of my time. Side note, I swear to God the Last Chance puts several hundred dollars into Mr. Rock's pocket every goddamn week! As long as we're on this subject here is a list of people who suck that have been overplayed by people who put money in jukeboxes and it needs to stop.

1. Kid Rock - See above, good guy, bad music.

2. Nickleback - holy fucking shit this band sucks and this song (if you dare) is one of the worst things ever produced by man. Here's one of the worst comments on the youtubes for this video...

in the summer of 2010 nickelback and the dark horse album was the music played nonstop on my familys camping trip in oregon, fucking incredible, ill never forget it

Dear God, that sounds like the worst fucking thing in the world. If Nickleback was the soundtrack to your family vacation, please stay in Oregon, you are fucked.

3. Seether/Disturbed/Hell Yeah/Buckcherry etc. - metal died with Cliff Burton. Because they (Seether) suck so badly, it's hard to say what their worst song is but this one is fucking horrible. Metal and rock are suppossed to be an outlet for anger. When I listen to shit like this, it makes me MORE angry. Like, I want to destroy the jukebox with a fucking nine-iron then light it on fire with the hair of one of these douchey assholes.

4. Lady Gaga - Much like the other music on this list, people who played Poker Face OVER AND FUCKING OVER AGAIN will probably not be listening to that shit into 10 years. That is of course, unless you're gay in which case it will take you 15 years to stop caring about her.

5. Kanye West - especially that "Toast to the Douchebags" schwill. You do realize that when people call you a douchebag they're making fun of you right? I really hope that people don't start "owning" that word like black people did with the N-Bomb, that would be horrible.

6. Shit that is played on the radio. Come on people have a fucking imagination. There's this thing called the Internet where you can listen to all kinds of bands FOR FREE. Get out there and discover something!

Sincerely,
Peoria Bar Review Staff

P.S. Feel free to add your picks for most overplayed/overrated/downright shitty bands that people pay money to hear in the comments. Seeing as I wrote this in the time it takes to take a shit (it was a quick one) I'm sure I've left some out. I'll add them as they pop into my ADD-rattled brain.

Cheers!

News Around Town Part 3,654

2011-01-11T15:17:00.004-06:00

That's right fancy graphics. YOU THINK YOU FANCY HUH?

Blogs are great because it allows hack writers like me to call what is really a rumor "news". So, here we go.

I've heard from several people that Tomcats has closed. This is interesting to me because they've been there for quite some time. I wonder if the opening of Joe's Sports Grille had anything to do with the closing. Side note: I don't know if you've heard that commercial on 96.5 for Joe's but that shit drives me nuts. The commercial ends with "Ask for Matt, there is no Joe." Really? THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST NAME IT MATT'S!? I may be alone in this but to me, that is absolutely absurd.

Next up, is what I believe to be the unfortunate closing of the Whammy Bar. I've heard several different explanations for this but to be clear, the last several times I've been downtown the place was definitely closed. It could be just a liquor license issue but I haven't confirmed or denied any actual reason for the bar's closing. I hope this is the case and they can get it worked out. The Whammy Bar was a great place to hear original music by local bands. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Finally, a new restaraunt has opened on South Knoxville near Nebraska called The Mix. It's located where the old KFC was. From what I've read on their sign they've got a mix of foods from all over the world/country maybe? I'm not sure but I plan on checking it out soon. Also, just a few blocks south of there is new grocery store. That's right a grocery store within a reasonable distance of downtown! It's mostly Mexican stuff and it's called 3 Reales. Maybe I'll go in there and get some chorizo!

That's all for now folks. If anyone knows anything about the closing of Tomcats or the (suppossed) closing of Whammy Bar feel free to let me know!

Cheers!

Update - Brandon from the Whammy Bar says he hopes to be back open this week. That is all.
Update II - There will be a benefit this Sunday at Peoria Theater featuring 20 bands on two stages. There is a suggested $20 donation to help the owners of Whammy Bar with costs while they wait to renew their liquor license. You can read more about Peoria's struggling bar scene in Danielle Hatch's column. Check out the list of bands at the Whammy Benefit Event Page. The PBR wishes good luck to the Whammy Bar and all the bands participating.

Congratulations are in order...

2011-01-10T20:03:00.000-06:00

for Marty Wombacher who completed his year-long journey yesterday in grand fashion at Mike's Tavern in West Peoria!

I know it hasn't been easy (it sounds like fun but it's actually a lot of work) but it probably feels pretty good to be done with the whole thing eh Marty? I've enjoyed reading Marty's site everyday and look forward to seeing what his next project is.

So, without further adeu, here's the links to Marty's final four bars of the Biggest Bar Crawl of Them All!

Marty hit up Jerry's Bar, a little-known but cozy tavern that's location is a closely guarded secret!

Next up was West Peoria staple, the Tartan Inn.

Then, Marty made the trip with his friend Boris to Pontiac to check out Exit 197

And....finally, to wrap things up, Marty went to his grandpa's local and Peoria Institution, Mike's Tavern!

Cheers Marty, I hope you enjoy your newfound freedom and I look forward to your next project. Hopefully, that will be soon so I can have something to link to when I want to be lazy!

Goodnight sweetheart, it's time to go....

News Around Town/Links

2011-01-07T13:27:00.001-06:00

Vagabond bar crawler Marty Wombacher has landed here in Peoria. You may have noticed Phil Luciano's article about Marty's journey in today's Journal Star. If not, read it here.

It was a nice write-up but once again the evil pjstar.com commenters fouled it up. Well, not really, only two dumbass comments are on there right now.

In other news, Club Carbon has closed. I never had a chance to go there but I don't think I missed out on much. Thoughts anyone?

Check out Marty's latest review (it's a doosy) right here and stay tuned for where he'll be going next. Only two days to go!!!!

Cheers!

Follow Derrick Hart on Tour

2011-01-06T18:20:00.014-06:00

Local musician, native of Oswego N.Y., and friend of the PBR Derrick Hart is currently on tour on the West Coast and you can track him here on Peoria's ~~best~~ drunkest blog.

After some fuckery at the airport ( go figure) Derrick made it to Seattle for his first gig.

awesome show in seattle last night! everyone rocked. perused through my old stomping grounds. barely recognizable anymore... in a good way. tonight portland, OR!

Rainy seattle. see the space needle? Great house show last nite. Hospitality A+. All the bands were good. The term skid row originated here i'm told. I'll have to look that up...

That's it for now, keep checking this post and I'll keep updating as much as possible. Derrick will be playing at the Alberta Street Tavern in Portland, Ore. tonight..

Cheers and GodSpeed DH!

Alberta St. Pub in portland: a small friendly audience sat in the pews of a room that felt/looked halfway like a church with an accordian hanging on the wall w/ half a dozen arrows shot into it. mixed feelings. i returned to the stage after my lazy set for an encore of pseudo-angry 'merican banter about politics & other things i know nothing about for like 10+ minutes. then i slept in zach's closet. :) tonight we crash an open mic @ aria cafe 10004 sw canyon rd. in Portland 8pm.

Corvallis, Oregon show kicked ass! Interzone coffee! Friendly people! stellar performances!

Sacramento, CA tonight @ The Naked Lounge coffeehouse. 2 gals are running the event & they are wicked cool. Yesterday we switched to a van that is a van w/ a lot of buttons & compartments & automatic doors n stuff. so having said that, we are officially cool which goes without saying. so i don't need to say it. I'll report back after ...

Last night was a house show at a place called The Zoo in Oakland, CA. The host, Lana, is highly enthusiastic, funny, & nice. There is art everywhere. I need to upload some pictures. I'll try to do that before tonight's show in San Francisco which i know nothing about yet. Thanks Lana!

Copland in Oakland last night was a dirty basement with broken glass. All those people were nice and responded well to my weird mood music set. i closed w/ "gay truckin in the USA" & wandered off to the van to isolate. There were gunshots (BIG guns) nearby. i wasn't scared. Now I'm in Santa Monica w/ my rhinestone shirt on. :)

Derrick sent me this pic via text message. It's only been two weeks and DH looks like a mountain man. Have fun Derrick, I can't wait to see what all is hidden in your glorious face-warmer!

A nice drive on Mulholland Dr. Invented the word "lynchy". (i'm sure it's been invented already). but any time u feel like you're in a david lynch movie u can say "this is lynchy".

The show last night in LA was probably my favorite one yet. David Shane Smith put together a really cool event at a place called "Where". Sadly, it was Where's last show before closing for reasons unbeknownst to me. Everyone went nuts! Check out David's music: http://popheadwound.com/2011/01/13/david-shane-smith-controls/

That's it for now. See ya on the other side boys!

driving along the pacific ocean just north of san diego

we're having a really good string of shows the past few days. phoenix, AZ last night was great. we're gonna find something cool to do here before tonight's house show. i need to get some pictures up.

Las Cruces, NM kicked ass. it was a full moon. Venue was full of people. i strayed from usual thing and did a spontaneous comedy act. haha. i was having behaviors up there. people laughed themselves to tears. it was really fun.

Then last night we drove through Roswell, NM. pretty silly.

We are in Austin, TX now for a 3 day fiasco before returning home. Tonight's show is at House Of 88. stoked.

Derrick didn't give me a caption for this picture. I'm assuming this is either a place he crashed in or the home of a serial killer....or both. Cheers Derrick and see ya soon! Update below
it's just some building in NM. tonight we just wandered round w/ guitar on 6th st. tons of venues and restaurants. looks cool. more thorough exploration tomorrow. Then we play House Of 88.

i'll be back monday

i wore the green dress lana gave me & the lipstick & makeup julius gave me last night. this enhanced my performance for some reason. i was awesome :)

the gig was at house of 88 in austin. the hosts were awesome. tonight is the last show of the tour before flying home. the gig is at cheer up charlie's on 6th st.

i am back home now w/ johnny the cat sleeping on my head. the tour was amazing. no bullsh*t. i met some really awesome people i hope to keep in touch with. in austin i kissed the "hi how are you" frog w/out knowing it was daniel johnston's birthday! that's crazy! pics & stories to come

Congrats on a successful tour Derrick! Can't wait to hear all the crazy stories you accumulated on your trip. Cheers!

In complete and utter generalization news, people who comment on pjstar.com are dumbasses

2011-01-06T14:40:00.000-06:00

If there was an internet when these guys were around, they'd probably be commenting on pjstar.com. Wait, there was an internet back then that connected via a phone line? Haha fuck that shit, that doesn't count. Huh? What the fuck is AOL?

You know, this is just getting ridiculous. John Sharp wrote a thoughtful and in-depth article explaining the various success stories of minor league baseball stadia throughout the country and how do the readers respond? By shitting all over it.

And once again, it seems that fear and misinformation form most of the opinions of these troglodytes. I'll spare you from reading all the inane comments under the story. Instead I'll provide you with some of the highlights.

loveliberty - Who gives a crap.............This is newsworthy? If there was a true demand, it would take care of itself

Well, apparently you think it's newsworthy because you took the time to read the article, log in, and comment. And if you would have actually read the stories on this issue you would realize that "it" is taking care of itself, no thanks to you.

ford350 - I have driven by the ball diamond in Peoria and from what I seen they need to bulldozer in a lot of the buildings in that area and make a parking lot for the ball diamond. Just where do people park when they go there? Just like the civic center they build these things down town and you have to walk 3-4 blocks to get there and in that part of town I wouldnt walk 10 feet for fear of getting shot or mugged. But when it comes to the museum their going to have underground parking I think. That way you can park and not have to walk a long ways to get where your going and they will probaly have security everywhere.

First off, I didn't realize "bulldozer" was a verb. Secondly, parking really isn't that big of a deal. I've gone to a shitload of Chiefs and Rivermen games and have never paid for parking. Maybe because I don't find it to be that big of a deal to "walk 3-4 blocks" to get there. Third, do you really think you're going to get mugged at a fucking Chiefs game? Yah, that's the best opportunity for a criminal to mug you; surrounded by 3500 baseball fans and a couple hundred employees. Yes sir, that's definitely the most obvious mugging opportunity available. Fourth, you are basing your decision as to where you're going based on parking. Ugh, you are just the worst kind of person.

G Soros - Look around at all the bars closing . On premise liqueur sales are at a record low . You would have to be an idiot to open a bar right now . Who the hell would go there when the Chiefs are out of season ? Not exactly the best neighborhood . I wouldn't worry about the patrons of the sports bar harassing the gays I would worry about the locals robbing them .

You're right, there's a shitload of bars closing everywhere! I mean, there's Chillers and.... um wait, I know there's another one that's closed, oh well I'm sure it will come to me, or not. And the statement "on premise liquer(?) sales are at a record low" has no merit, you didn't even provide a link. First off, I don't even know where to find that information, short of speaking with a tavern or liquor store owner. I'd be willing to guess however, that someone who doesn't have the time to learn how to spell "liquor" probably just made that shit up.

Well, that's pretty much the worse of the comments but it's early so give it time. I just have to say that this is what would suck about being an actual journalist. John Sharp took the time to write and insightful article only to have these idiots make a mockery of it. As far as I'm concerned and due to the lack of any amount of thoughtfullness in the comments on pjstar.com, the Journal Star should require everyone to use their real names, just like they do for those who write in to the print edition.

Bottom line, fucking get over yourselves already. Go to a Chiefs game, buy a beer and a hot dog, sit there and watch the game and enjoy yourself. It's not that expensive and it's fun. If you can't have fun at a baseball game or any other sports event for that matter than you are fucked. Just stay at home and keep leaving negative comments on pjstar.com.

That's all for now people! I don't know about you but I feel a Wombachernado a-brewin! Cheers!

News Around Town/Links

2011-01-05T16:13:00.000-06:00

Well, kinda..

There's really only one bit of news to report and that's the proposal to turn Brown Bag Video into a sports bar. John Sharp broke the story on Monday and Luciano followed up on the story yesterday. Good God, reading the comments on those two stories gave me a headache. Why is everyone so fucking negative?

When O'Brien Field was proposed a decade ago we weren't promised a Wrigleyville atmosphere, it was simply a possibility. Obviously, businesses haven't flocked to the area and there hasn't been much development going on but Jesus give the place a chance. If the guy wants to turn an adult video store into a bar let him do it already!

And for the record, if the recent funding that was set aside to refurbish the warehouse district provides condos or apartments, I would definitely live there. I love all these people who claim the area is dangerous but probably haven't been down there in years. They're the same people that think it's weird that there's a gay bar near the stadium. First off, Buddies is a gay bar but it's also one of the cleanest and nicest bars in the downtown area. The more people that support development in the warehouse district or downtown in general, the better the place will be. Seriously, read the comments beneath these two articles, maybe I'm completely biased but I'm assuming that all the negative comments were written by 72 year-old shut-ins that have somehow been granted internet access. Rant over.

David Von Behren recommended a video of the great Studs Terkel and legendary Chicago Tribune columnist and huge Cubs fan Mike Royko discussing the importance of the neighborhood tavern (skip to 5:45). I think this is the video you were talking about David, if not let me know.

Marty Wombacher at 365 bars is winding down his year-long journey. Check out his latest stop on the old bar crawl.

Have you heard about all these birds and fish dying in the southeast? I think this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. Gear up folks, this shit is about to go down. I think Danger Guerrero at Steel Clink Alcatraz agrees with me.

That's it for now, cheers boys and girls!

Random pics, thoughts, observations, from Chicago

2011-01-04T20:21:00.001-06:00

I just wanted to share some stuff from the trip to Chi-town Zig Zag and I made last weekend. After drinking heavily for the better part of Sunday, Zig and I were in need of sustenance. For absolutely no reason whatsoever I really wanted a Philly Cheesesteak. So, I hopped on the Interwebs and found what many called "the best and most authentic Philly in Chicago" at a place called Philly's best, so off we went.Just outside the restaurant we spotted this ancient Huffy. I'm not sure if it actually works or if it's just been sitting there since '73.

And here we are inside Philly's Best let's get a cheesesteak. This sandwich was fucking awesome. I've never been to Philly but I've been to Ocean City which is pretty close and this cheesesteak was pretty close to what I had there. It's all about the cheese, it's gotta be liquid white American cheese (or Cheez Wiz) to be right and the guys at Philly's Best have it figured out.

This wall had a ton of pictures, almost all of them autographed, of various celebrities. There was pics of reporters from Philadelphia as well as sports figures from Chicago. Before our lunch at Philly's, we spotted some dive bars to check out before hitting the road and coming back to the P. The first stop was Carol's Pub located at 4659 N. Clark. Just outside the bar we found this empty can of Icehouse. This is always the sign of a great bar.

Most reviews online said it was a great place for karaoke and I don't doubt that. There was a big stage where country and western (both kinds of music!) play. The crowd at 1 p.m. on a Monday was...interesting. When Zig and I walked in, both TV's were turned to Maury and cranked up pretty loud. The whole bar was watching, which is the first time I've ever seen that. Below is a pic from my perch at the bar. This place was a true dive. It smelled a little like farts and stale beer but compared with the other cookie-cutter sports bars and douchebag hangouts in the area, I would definitely make Carol's a regular stop if I were lucky enough to live in the Windy City and run the Chicago Bar Review. After a couple Bloody Mary's and a few Bud Lights we headed to our next stop, Max's Place.

No one leaves a bar quietly at 4 a.m.

AHHHH SUNLIGHT!

Max's is about a one cigarette walk from Carol's and is located at 4621 N. Clark. Max's is way smaller than Carol's but had just as much atmosphere. There's a bar, a jukebox, booze, and that's about it. But to be a great dive bar, these are really the main ingredients. I only got one pic, from my seat at the bar, check it out below.

The outside shot is a pic I got from another site. In case you can't tell, that sign is made of wood and is handpainted, something you don't see very often.

All in all, it was a great day in Chicago, I just wish I could've stayed in to the night and gotten to hang out at Carol's and Max's longer but I guess I'll just have to get back up there soon and make that happen. Cheers to Philly's Best for providing Chicago with an authentic cheesesteak and cheers to Max's and Carol's for providing the City of Broad Shoulders with two great dives to hang out in!

Burwood Tap

2011-01-03T14:12:00.003-06:00

Picture stolen from online source. Obviously our trip to the Burwood was much colder and snowier. Great.Fucking.Place.

Located at 724 West Wrightwood Ave. in Chicago's Lincoln Park neighborhood, the Burwood is one of the oldest bars in the city. The bar has been in operation and owned by the same family since 1933. I'm not sure if it was a bar before Prohibition or not but that's still a long fucking time. The bar sits on the corner of Wrightwood and Burling Streets which gives the tavern its name.

My first experience at the Burwood was completely by chance, which I'll explain in a minute. PBR staffer and resident drunkest-guy-in-the-room Zig Zag and I went to the Bears-Jets game last Sunday and had made up a little route to walk that evening to hit up some bars. Needless to say after a three (3) hour drive that started at 7 a.m. and included Zig drinking endless amounts of beers and smoking a shitload of hitters, he was in pretty bad shape for the game. But thanks to a post-game shower and bottle of merlot things were looking a little better for the evening's festivities.

Our route had us stopping at the B.L.U.E.S. bar right next to Kingston Mines before going to the Galway Arms and whatever other taverns might present themselves on our walk. Unfortunately, the blues bar was closed so we headed towards Galway. To my amazement and somehow through the wine/beer/weed/no sleep induced fog that Zig was in, he spotted the Burwood as I almost walked right past it.

Upon entering, I could already tell that this was one of "those" places. The entire bar is awash in a red-maroon glow that was added to by the Christmas lights hanging above the bar. Hell, they might even have them there all year round for all I know, they wouldn't look out of place. The front bar seats about 20 (how many times have I said that?) and the bar in the back looked to be a little bigger. In between is a single pool table. There weren't very many people in the bar but I could see that area being pretty cramped if the place was packed. Which is exactly what the fine folks at the Chicago Bar Project thought as well.

Zig Zag and I settled in and started playing pool, while the regulars drank at the bar and watched the Blackhawks game. We had a pitcher ($9) and had a walk around. Among the things we found were an old-ass fire hydrant, some really old hockey equipment hanging above the pool table and most importantly this sign...

Now, according to the Chicago Bar Project, this price has increased to $30 per person but that's still a ridiculously good deal. I don't know about you but any time I've spent three hours at a bar I've spent at least $20. Furthermore, if I really wanted to go nuts and drink Johnnie Walker Blue, my tab would be way beyond that. I will take advantage of this one day, stay tuned.

Here's the small pool table area. This table played really well despite the fact that the old floor was entirely un-even. The table is a Brunswick which, I'm pretty sure are the best made tables available. I really like the copper corners on this one. This table looks just like the ones at Jillian's here in Peoria. The difference between them is that this one will actually get used because it doesn't cost a ridiculous amount of money to play on it, Jillian's you are fucked!

Here's the back bar area. I love all the woodwork in this place, it gives it a real welcoming feel. And below that, for some reason is Shawn Kemp. I'm not really sure what this picture is doing there but it reminded of several things. First, those early to mid-90's Sonics had some pretty good teams with Kemp and Gary Payton holding it down. Not to mention how sweet those jerseys are. It's a shame that the Supersonics no longer exist. At least we have this picture to remember them by.

Above is a pic of the bar from back in the day, pretty fucking sweet.

The aforementioned fire hydrant is pictured below. This thing was heavy as fuck. The floor underneath was a low spot in the pool table area, undoubtedly because of the weight of this thing. There was a ton of cool old stuff laying around in this bar but with all the regulars there on a Sunday night, I didn't want to look like a complete creep by taking pictures of everything.

After we had finished our pitcher, Zig and I headed to the Galway Arms, which reviews online said had live Irish music every Sunday night. Zig Zag, unbenknownst to me had been cranking hitters on the walk to the blues bar and the Burwood. This, of course led to him looking extremely fucked up. We walked to the Galway and I went to the bathroom while Zig found a table for us. When I came back the waitress informed that "I can't serve your friend, the bartender said he's too drunk." Congrats are in order for my boy Zig, I've never seen anyone get kicked out of an Irish bar for being too drunk until that fateful eve. So, we improvised and went back to the Burwood where the friendly waitress happily brought us a pitcher while Zig chowed down on some of the free food they had in the back room as well as shitload of free popcorn. This is another reason why I love this bar so much. Zig was fucked up, to be sure, but he wasn't causing any problems nor could he have if he tried. If it wasn't for the Burwood who knows where we would have gone. I might have had to drop his drunk ass off at the hotel and bar-hop solo.

So, cheers to Zig Zag for maintaining despite the circumstances and a very rare Double Cheers to the Burwood Tap for saving my night!

Oh, and next time we're leaving the dope at the hotel you drunk ass bastard!

Shot of the bar. It looks like copper but it's actually just laminated (or whatever you call it) wood.

Happy New Year!/Top Ten Shittiest Things About New Year's Eve

2010-12-31T16:58:00.003-06:00

Now this is a Happy New Year picture I can get behind! Man that's corny

Yah, it's happy new year, not happy new years, years only come one at a time folks. Anyway, depending on your point of view, tonight could be the most or least looked-forward-to drinking night of the year. For me, it's the latter. Tonight is the night when people who don't normally drink feel the need to go out and get bombed which usually leads to some ~~fucking retard trying to start a fight~~ unsavory situations.

Despite that, tonight will be crazy and maybe even fun just about everywhere you go. I was going to provide some links for you folks but decided that, if you haven't made plans for tonight already then you're probably just going to wing it. My suggestion, if you don't have any plans, would be to find a nice cozy dive bar and settle in for a relaxing evening. Then, after the midnight hour has passed, head downtown because that's when the real crazy shit will go down.

I might do that, then again, I might just close down whatever hole-in-the-wall I find myself in. And now, to close things off, I'll list the top ten shittiest things about New Year's Eve.

10. Cops on edge - Because there are so many drunk fucks causing trouble, police everywhere have a miniscule amount of patience.
9. Every fat person in the world decides they're going to join a gym so, for the first two weeks of the year every gym is packed till they fall off the wagon and start eating cheeseburgers again.
7. Whores - They're everywhere getting in the way of Fontana trying to get a piece of ass.
6. People - They're fucking everywhere, even the ones that never come out decide that tonight they must get out. Seriously, people suck and they smell.
5. No matter where you're at it will take you an hour to get your drinks. To avoid going drinkless you will order beers or cocktails eight (8) at a time and slam them down. You won't be able to enjoy your drinks in a timely manner but will instead be focused on the perfect time to return to the bar and order the next round. This is my least favorite game to play.
4. Douchebags - Tonight is their Christmas except for instead of presents they open your senses to obnoxious amounts of cologne and t-shirts with Gothic style lettering. And they will be the first to either hit on your girlfriend, start a fight (actually they'll do the "hold me back bro" move), or run out on their tab. Avoid douchebag bars at all costs.
3. Taxis - No one likes to take cabs, especially on New Year's Eve. They smell, they're outrageously expensive and it will take you FOR FUCKING EVER to get one tonight. Good luck.
2. People. Did I already mention that? Oh well people suck so much they get on the list twice
1. It's New Year's Eve. Everybody will go out and put on a facade of being optimistic about next year but in reality, it will suck just as bad as this one did. Stop kidding yourselves, this is the most fucked-up holiday of the year.

Okay I just found this article that pretty much sums up my opinion about tonight. And Marty wherever you are, good fucking luck dude, I pity yo ass!

Cheers and Happy New Year!

Merry XMas!

2010-12-24T11:24:00.000-06:00

Yay it's a white Christmas! Isn't that great Peoria? Did you get all your Christmas shopping done? No? Well, that's alright because the little known secret is that this is the best shopping day of the year. The shelves are almost empty so, it shouldn't be hard to pick out a gift and people smell of desperation, which always makes for good times.

Anyway, friend of the PBR Marty Wombacher is home for the Holiday and you can check out his trip to the airport bar he visited yesterday. He'll be able to hit up three (3) places here in The P. Today, tomorrow, and the day after Christmas, Marty will be drinking at bars of his choosing right here in Peoria. You never know you might run into him, so get your drinking shoes on and have a Merry One!

Beers and Christmas Cheers!

Twas the week before xmas ...

2010-12-21T14:21:00.000-06:00

... And all through the town, live music was playing - we drank and got down ...

Our first stop of the week was at The Red Barn for their weekly open mic night hosted by local musician Derrick Hart. The Chief has a great review up on The Red Barn, so I won't waste anyone's time with descriptions. But I will say that my fondness for this bar is unrivaled. I used to go to the barn when I was still a young lush - er lass - to see Scotty and the Ligonaires. They used to have a weekly show there, and if my memory serves me right, they played to a full house. Scotty would play the organ like a maniac and his bandmates had energy to match. A song that stands out in my mind was their cover of Steely Dan's "Bad Sneakers" - but their sets ranged from rock and blues to jazz and r & b. A quick google search to see what may have become of them turned up a pretty awesome interview with Scotty in the Chicago Reader as well as a very sparse Myspace page.

Although I was away for a few years, The Red Barn seems to be keeping the same great tradition of live music. Tuesdays are always a good time and Derrick really does a great job of running the open mic night. The environment is always welcoming for new musicians to get up and do their thing and I've grown to love some of the talent that plays there each week.

I was at a few other favorite pubs this week that I eventually want to put my two cents down on - but how about something old, something new? I was in search of a lunch beer, some food, and a place to watch the second half of the football game (without the crowd of a sports bar) when I stumbled upon a place called Brasky's - Legendary Libations & Eatery.

Located at 9901 N. Knoxville in Peoria, Brasky's sits in a small strip mall on the west side of the road that's all new development. In fact, they just opened in August. The interior is quite simple - just one large room, with the bar located at one end. The open room lacked coziness and had the place been packed I think it would be a loud nightmare - but to be fair I'm a little shell-shocked from going anywhere in public the week before xmas. It makes me fear parking lots and crowds, which will thankfully be over soon.

We found a high-top table near the bar and settled in. Our waitress was quick to bring our drinks (22oz beers served in frosty mugs for only $3.25 ... I think ...) and recommended the rueben. The menu was filled with delicious fried goodness, including my all time favorite mac & cheese, corn fritters, and mini corndogs. The White Borscht soup is advertised as "absolutely the best bowl of soup in Peoria," consisting of white broth, potatoes, and two kinds of smoked sausage. That's not really my thing, so I didn't try it, but I will take their word for it.

My guest ordered the rueben, as suggested, but was disappointed to find that the corned beef was a bit dry and rubbery. The homemade chips that accompanied it, however, were perfectly crisp without being greasy. I ordered a black bean veggie burger (a rare find at a bar) and onion rings. Both were great - especially the rings. The batter was light and almost sweet, and when you bit into them, the onion didn't fall out. For being nearly empty inside, the food took a really long time to come out, but it was hot and good so I don't really mean to complain. All of the wait staff was nice and our time their was enjoyable. For two tall beers and our sandwiches, the bill came to $31.12. Brasky's isn't in a location I find myself in often and it was difficult to determine what type of crowd they attract, but that area could use more dining options and I wish Brasky's the best.

Well, that's all for now folks. Until next time, this is Fontana, signing off.

News Around Town/The Fuck Peoria?

2010-12-13T16:25:00.001-06:00

Michel Mongeau February 9, 1965 - May 22, 2010

Howdy folks! Got one quick bit of news and some bitching to do. Saturday night, the Peoria Rivermen organization and their fans paid tribute to Michel Mongeau, one of the greatest Rivermen of all time. He along with my favorite Riverman, Ricky Pion led the Rivs to a Turner Cup Championship during the 91-92 season. The picture above is a free canvas that was given out to the first 2500 fans. There were quite a few boxes left over. The Fuck Peoria? Get out there and support your fucking team already! Rant over.

Here's some links to catch up on the great Mongeau
PJStar After Death of Mongeau
Greatest Hockey Legends
PJStar from last Friday
PJStar Video Reel Editor's note, this video is amazing because Jim Mattson is interviewing Mongeau VIA SATELLITE! Can you imagine something like that happening today? It just goes to show how far hockey has fallen in this town.
Rivermen website

Whilst driving up Sheridan the other night, I noticed that the Sports Page has re-opened under a different name. It's either Jimmy or Johnny C's (I'm thinking it's Jimmy C's), if anyone knows for sure let me know. I'll try to get there this weekend and shoot some photos for your viewin' pleasure.

I know it's the Holidays and everybody is stressed out but lucky for you, we're in Peoria and we've got approximately 275 bars for you to choose from, so get out there and do some drinkin! That should be a public service announcement.

Cheers!

An Open Letter to the Fine Folks at Crusens

2010-12-07T11:20:00.009-06:00

Pictured: the next mayor of Pekin and his lovely wister (wife+sister)

Dear people at Crusens,

First off, let me just say that I hold no grudges against the owners and patrons of your establishment. I applaud your efforts to give back to the community and credit your ability to have a successful business for such a long time. With that being said, why the hate? It's very unbecoming that you took the time to respond to the PBR's Declaration of Douchipendence in such a way. For those of you not consumed by the world of facebook, here's what was said.

Listen Mr. Peoria Bar Review. this is Wayne Klein just got off work from Crusens on Farmington Rd. and who are you to Review bars? Also, Review the BAR not the people in it the one night you came and asked if you could get in FREE and then what the cheapest drink in the house was, then realized an H20 will have todo be...cause a $1 DRAFT is way out of your league. I mean we have an amazing and attractive staff, an extraordinary place to have a meal(from PIZZAs to WINGs to Burgers to WRAPs....etc.) with the most competative prices in the market, the BEST in LIVE MUSIC(if you like COVER BANDs and the select original acts) every FRI and SAT, By FAR the BEST DRINK SPECIALs DAY in and DAY out in the AREA!, We offer FREE SHUTTLE RIDES to and from the pace WED thru SAT. in a 25MILE RADIUS!, we DONATE to numerous fundraisers such as THE CHILDRENs HOME, Easter Seals, Peoria County Police Officers, Churchs, West Peoria Fire Dept., BENEFITs for families in the area, etc....... and BLA BLA BLA i could go on and on about the place I have worked at since I was 21 and now im 29 and now a proud co-owner with Steven Crusen with a name on our buiilding that has been in the business for over 25 YEARs, but I think you get the point!! Relax bro and find something else to do with your FREE-TIME that might make a difference in the community!! Have a great life. SEE YOU SOON!!!!!

Whew, that's a lot of caps. The first part of that is the most confusing. How does Mr. Klein know that I asked to get in for free? I mean, I didn't but that's beside the point. What kind of supernatural powers does this man posses that he knows certain events took place even though they never happened? Amazing, simply amazing.

Just before that, I'm told to review "the bar and not the people in it the one night you came." Whoa hold on there buddy, I come every night! Rimshot! Secondly, I've been to Crusens, both locations, a shitload of times, that's why I've never actually reviewed them because the purpose of this blog is to introduce Peoria to many of our fine taverns that are oft-ignored. Crusens does not fall into this category, everybody knows Crusens and everyone's been there. Part of the atmosphere of a bar are the people in it.To me, the people inside the bar make it what it is. And the people who are inside Crusens are, generally speaking, douchebags.

Next up, who am I to review bars? Well, I am a barfly, native Peorian and active drinking enthusiast, is that not enough? Perhaps there is some kind of class I can take that will teach me how to properly review bars, if so, please let me know and I will enroll post-haste.
As for the charity stuff, that's great, it really is. However beating your chest about it because I said douchebags go to your bar leaves kind of a bad taste in my mouth but I'll let it slide because any charitable contributions should be applauded. As for the suggestion I find something better to do with my free time, well don't bet on it. I have thouroughly enjoyed writing this blog and if you would have read any of my posts other than the one that is the focus of your rant, you would know that we've covered a lot of subjects here at the PBR.

As a matter of fact, one of the main themes of this blog has been to encourage folks to get out of their box and go to different bars, meet different people, and engage themselves in the community. It may sound silly but to me it makes a lot of sense. That might be because I've actually done this. I've gone to bars that, if not for this blog, I never would have given a chance. I've met new people and learned about many of the problems facing neighborhoods throughout Peoria. That may be a small contribution but acquiring knowledge about the community in which you live is a contribution nonetheless.

Before I go, let me wish you continued success in your business and life in general. Your bar isn't for me and many of the people I know and that's fine. Everybody likes different shit and I accept that. But getting all pissed off because someone on a ~~sweet-ass~~ generally ignored blog is a little over-the-top.

Finally, I stand by my statement that Crusens on Farmington is the douchiest bar in all of Peoria and that's probably not going to change.

Now, I believe Fontana has something to say on this matter, take it away girl!

Fontana Lee

If I may ... I am an overall supporter of Crusens. There were times when I was living away from the area and used to wake up craving your fried mac & cheese. And I admire and appreciate your support for your place of work. I think it's important to take pride in what you do. In fact, Crusens used to be my home base - and I don't actually wish to put it down. However, a part that I think everyone is missing, is that a lot of what makes your favorite bar- 'your favorite bar' - is the people in it. I have a fondness for many watering holes based on the people I know I will see there and those who ultimately make me feel at home. I don't doubt that Crusens satisfies that for many people.

I don't know if I speak on behalf of The Chief but certainly for myself, that's just not something that Crusens offers for me anymore. I still enjoy going there occasionally - but I am not at all into cover bands, my musical tastes have grown beyond that. And I am definitely not one to get dressed up in my Saturday night slutty finest and try to pick up dates at the bar. I'm not trying to suggest that that is the only enjoyment one has at your bar on the weekend, but I don't think I am far off. Especially on Farmington Rd. It seems to cater to a college crowd - which is awesome and great for your business - but not for The Chief and I.

We have grown past that. If you are unhappy with his (our) reviews - then I'm sorry. But not everyone agrees with Ebert either and he still seems to be doing fine as a reviewer. It's a matter of opinion and personal taste - so while your bar may be awesome for the community and a certain demographic (which I don't think anyone contested) - it's not for us. At least The Chief is putting himself and the local bars out there ... whatever happened to "there's no such thing as bad press?"

And with that, I think it's time to put this thing to bed. The people from Crusens have chosen to concentrate on one of the 76 posts that have been written here. Yes, most of the bars listed on the "Douchebag Bars" post are the most popular in town but so fucking what? That tells me that there are a bunch of people in this town that have little to no imagination when it comes to bars and, sadly, that there are a lot of douchebags in Peoria.

Cheers and Happy Holidays if you don't hear from me before the shit hits the gift giving fan!

Taller than a Christmas tree, try THAT Republicans!

Haters

2010-12-03T18:06:00.000-06:00

The back of this sign says fuck off and go home

I really didn't want to write this post on such a solemn day but a few douchebags have forced my hand. It seems there are quite a few people who don't agree with my position on Crusen's and they've made their opinions known, at least to each other. I won't divulge their names because, believe it or not, I'm not an asshole. All of this, of course, took place on facebook.

Douche 1 - So Peoria Bar Review says Crusens is the douchiest bar in peoria...hmm...must be a lot of douche bags in peoria then...place is packed with them everynight! toast to the douchebags!

Douche 2 - Obviously a douche writes that blog

Douche 2 - How is Crusens the Douchiest bar? do they not have enough mullets or a big enough selection of canned beer. I think "THE CHIEF" needs to go to any bar outside a townie bar in Peoria... Im Sure THE CHIEF would love all the bars in Cuba or Little America... Grow up Micky Mouse

Here's my response. I've already explained why Crusen's is the most douchebag-filled bar in Peoria so, there's no need to go down that road again. Secondly, if Douche 2 is going to generalize all Peorians as mullet-rocking hillbillies, then I have every right to view all Bradley students as spoon-fed pussies who couldn't get into a better school and had their parents pony up the cash to be a Brave. And "townies" really? What is this a bad 80's comedy? Get over yourself. Also, using references from Wedding Crashers is the epitome of douche.

It continued...

Douche 2 - Does TheChief have a real name? Or does he only refer to his really cool self-given nickname and speak in the 3rd and rarely seen 4th person

Yes, I do have a real name that I can't let you know, because some dog-fucking swine like yourself would probably try to start shit with me because I called you a douche, which you are. "TheChief" is actually a reference to Peoria's old logo, that was replaced last year. If you took the time to read the PBR, you would know that.

Douche 2 - This is the same guy that wrote that $8.75 is overpriced for a pitcher of beer? HAHAHA What a cheap ass.

Haha yes, I am a cheap ass. I realize $8.75 may be cheap for Chicago, but this isn't Chicago, it's Fucking Peoria. Also, it's a lot easier to consider that price reasonable when you're probably spending mom and dad's money.

In conclusion, the people who wrote these things have reinforced everything I said about Crusen's and bars like it. You smell of your mother's asshole and fear. Go back to whatever cheesy Chicago suburb you call home. Oh, and don't forget to tell everyone that you're from Chicago.

Yours Truly,
TheChief

Ron Santo February 25, 1940 - December 2, 2010

2010-12-03T14:41:00.001-06:00

Cubs legend Ron Santo, one of the greatest third-basemen of all time and without a doubt the Heart and Soul of the Chicago Cubs dies last night at age 70. I wish I had more time to write a longer post about Ronnie and maybe I will later but for right now I'll provide you with some links of what other writers are saying about This Old Cub.

R.I.P Ronnie

The Trib

Desipio - So long, Big Boy

Aisle 424

Hire Jim Essian

Rob Neyer - Why Isn't Ron Santo in the Hall of Fame?

LA Times

Kent Sterling - Shame on the Hall of Fame Veteran's Comittee

ESPN - Santo Remembered, the Playing Days

"This Old Cub" theatrical trailer, this one makes me cry

I can't even imagine how different next year's radio broadcasts will be. I loved listening to Ron and Pat on WGN, it will never be the same. I've never met Ron Santo but I feel like I've known him my whole life.

Cheers Ronnie, you will be missed, Go Cubs

News Around Town/Kouri's is Now Officially on the Shitlist

2010-11-29T14:43:00.001-06:00

Fuck.This.Place.

A couple quick bits of news. First, in case you've been living under a rock, an awesomely bad robbery took place last week at Agatucci's. The owners pulled out their pieces, chased the would-be robber into the street, where shots were fired and (in my mind's eye) the owners said something bad ass like "the next time you pull that shit, I'll stick my gun up your ass and pull the trigger till it goes click," or something like that.

Secondly, I heard a rumor that the owners of the Elbo Room (and now, apparently, the Sports Page) will close the Elbo and move their operations to Sports Page. Also, a friend of the PBR recently admitted to drunkenly ripping the toilet in the men's bathroom at Elbo Room from its moorings several years ago. This could explain why every time I go in there, it looks like the Great Deluge and not the kind Raoul Duke would approve of. Despite the fact that the facilities at Elbo Room resemble a public restroom in NYC, I always have a good time at that place and get quick and friendly service. The same cannot be said for a certain north Peoria bar called Kouri's.

If you weren't aware, Kouri's (formerly Mulligan's) has been reviewed by the PBR before and the results weren't that great. Now, I can officially put Kouri's on the shitlist for several reasons.

1. Douchebags
The place was filled with them, no more needs to be said on this topic.

2. Crappy service
Upon entering Kouri's I stepped up to the outside bar where I was ignored by several members of the wait-staff until finally the bartender gave me (half) his attention. While he looked over the top of my head, I ordered a pitcher and some shots. The drinks came and he blurted out the total. No, "did you want to run a tab?" just the total. He may as well have said "give me your fucking money and don't bother me until you're out of booze and I can get more of your money." That's exactly the way I felt. The best part? He didn't even give me glasses to go with the pitcher, I had to ask for them. How in The Fuck am I supposed to drink a pitcher without a glass? It would be one thing if it were just me but apparently people don't like to drink out of the same receptacle.

3. Ridiculously expensive drinks
$8.50 for a pitcher, 'nuff said

That's all for now folks! Be sure to leave your hate in the comments section, it's the only thing that keeps this site going.

Cheers!

Laziness Update/News Around Town/Links

2010-11-09T19:11:00.000-06:00

Pictured: My future ex wife

What's that? You're sick of these posts? Well, too bad because I'm too busy to review a new place so you're just going to have to deal with it until I go on Thanksgiving break at which point I will be reviewing a bunch of places, provided they have turkey.

Anyway, a lot has been going on in Peoria's saloon society in the last few weeks. Most notably the stepped up enforcement of the smoking ban. The Peoria County Sherrif's department sent a letter to several bars warning them that "plain-clothes police officers" would be paying them a visit just to make sure they're on the up and up. First off, if you're going to bust somebody for a crime, why would you warn them ahead of time? Just imagine if that tactic applied to all crimes! Can you imagine driving down the road and seeing a sign that said "DUI CHECKPOINT AHEAD?" Wouldn't that be nice? So, all the bars of Peoria are smoke free, for now.

I'm gonna go ahead and take down all the tags that make reference to being able to smoke in certain bars. I'm a fairly paranoid individual and I don't think it's too crazy to think that a cop might have stopped by the old PBR just to see what it's all about. I know that smoking is bad but there should always be a place where you can go to smoke and drink and I don't want to ruin that for anyone (me).

Recently, I stopped by Joe's Grille (or whatever it's called after Joe's) and really wasn't that impressed. Maybe I was expecting too much by trying to get something to eat after 8 p.m. but it just wasn't that great. This led me to a conclusion. For some reason, I just cannot bring myself to like ~~certain~~ newer bars. I'm sure I'll give Joe's another chance but it seems unfair for me to bash the place in a review when it's not even my cup of tea.

With that said, I think I'm going to go back to what I do best, dive bars. Maybe it's the low expectations that they have to meet, or maybe it's the crazy fuckers that tend to hang out in them but for some reason, dive bars have always been my thing. I'll leave the newer places up to Fontana and C-Note, maybe they'll be more fair than I am. The good thing about Peoria is that there's plenty of dives to go around so I won't run out any time soon. If you've got any suggestions shoot me an email at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com or just leave it in the comments section.

Oh and one more thing, I've just come across a great blog that I should have been reading for a long time now. It's called PeoriaAntiPundit and it covers local and non-local issues as well as generally funny stuff. Seriously, go check it out.
Actually, two more things, there's another great blog/website that has a bunch of great photos of Peoria and places around our Fair City. It's called PeoriaInPictures and you can check it out here.

Cheers!

Laziness Update/News Around Town: Ruuuuuuun It's Halloween Edition!

2010-10-29T01:40:00.001-05:00

Yes that is a bear chasing a bison who was apparently being chewed on by said bear. And yes that little girl clearly did not plan for that cold of weather.

Alright, I've got two bits of news for the barflies of Peoria. First, an update on Webb's Pub. I recently ran into a friend of the PBR that used to work there and he said that discrepancies between the (former) owner and the landlord of the complex forced the pub to close. The source said that while, Webb's had been late on rent a few times, he didn't really understand why the owner chose to walk away from the landlord and the pub. Sounds like a weird situation to me.

Secondly, the place next to Tomcats that was formerly St. Pauli Pub and about 10 other things in the past ten years is now Joe's Sports Grille. I guess I'm a little late in providing you with this news, as the Journal Star reviewed the place in September. Bonus, the sole comment on that pjstar.com article has some unkind words for Kouri's. See, I'm not the only one! I haven't been to Tomcats in a while and have never been to Joe's so maybe a trip there this weekend is in order. Thoughts?

That's pretty much it for now. It should be a pretty crazy weekend, what with the World Series and Halloween coinciding. I'm hoping to see at least a few Giants and Rangers costumes, maybe even a few Kung Fu Pandas! I have no doubt though that the good and morally upstanding women of Peoria will not result to buying "sexy" costumes. Oh, who am I kidding, we're all going to see a lot of those, and why the hell not, our Founding Fathers fought for that right!

Here's some late breaking news, thanks to Facebook. Mushrush's has finally changed names to appease its new owner. The pub is now called Ulrich's Rebellion Room. This is really cool because when the bar was Sullivan's, it read "Irish Rebellion Room" above the bar, so the new name is a nice little cheers to history. I'll try to get a pic of the new sign, meanwhile I'll update the review for Mushrush's.

Cheers to Ulrich's and cheers to slutty Halloween costumes!

Laziness Update/Links

2010-10-20T17:07:00.001-05:00

There's really no reason for this picture other than that it makes me laugh. Her face is almost as annoying as her voice.

I haven't had much time lately to get to a new review but I can always find time to share links with you crazy kids. First off, HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT BLACKHAWKS GAME MONDAY NITE!?!?!?!?! OMFG!!!!! Marian Hossa is a fucking badass that fears no one and I'm glad he's on our team.

That leads me to the first link, a great video made by BigCSouthside from secondcityhockey.com

Next up, a little douchebag action for ya courtesy of Tim and Eric, I mean, Jim and Derrick

The City of Peoria secured a shitload of federal money to refurbish the Warehouse District. Will you move downtown and live in a condo?

Phil Luciano almost saved someone's life...or something like that and then he puts the idiotic pjstar commenters in their place

Name This Peoria Landmark has a very interesting item for post #360

PeoriaIllinoisan really likes the new 99.9 FM radio station (as do I) and enjoys the clever marketing tactic of another Peoria radio station, 101.1

And last but not least, Marty from 365 bars is up to bar number 283 in his quest for number 365, go check it out!

Site News/Awesome stuff you can click on and go look at!

2010-10-07T15:51:00.005-05:00

Pictured: The next Mayor of Peoria

I've re-arranged some stuff here on the old PBR, so take a look at the sidebar and get yourself acquainted. Also, I went ahead and sold out and monetized this blog. I know, you're disappointed but I gotta get that money so get over it and feel free to click on as many ads as your heart desires.

I'll go ahead and share some links with you all to get you through until the next post. Here we go...

I've been catching up with my readings of The Clink and Danger has had some great posts of late. There's this one where Danger examines a classic video of Ol Dirty Bastard explaining his love for a certain part of the female anatomy. Hint - not what you're thinking.

And then there's this one where DG examines the always funny and perverted Google search terms that bring readers to his site. Also included in the post is a great gif of Katy Perry's boobs bouncing. Try not to click that link, I dare you.

For some reason, Blogger wasn't able to get a feed for a great site about Chicago bars. I tried to add it to the sidebar and it wouldn't work so I'm mentioning it now. Go check out chibarproject.com.

Marty's up to bar number 270 on his quest to hit up 365 bars in 365 days, it's a special time folks, people are doing great things!

Hockey starts tonight and the Blackhawks, excuse me, the defending Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks will face off against the Avalanche at 9 p.m. The game will be on Versus. Just in case you forgot, this is where we left off.

That's pretty much it for now, hope everyone enjoys the game(s) tonight, it's a nice way to start the weekend early.

Cheers!

In where I make a ridiculous comparison between sports teams and bars

2010-10-06T14:53:00.003-05:00

What am I so distraught about again? Oh yah, Cubs, pitching staff, got it.

This is what I look like every night at last call.

Recently, there have been a lot of changes taking place at the Last Chance. Some have been good and some have been bad but change is inevitable and I guess I'll just have to get used to it.

There are some lessons to be learned from this, and I am going to enlighten you with them right now. I'm not going to get into all the in's and out's of the whole ordeal, you can find them in the review for the Last Chance which has recently been updated.

The one major change that has taken place regards the bartenders. The Chance has always been a place with friendly staff behind the bar, people that you would want to hang out with outside of the bar. There are lots of places like the Chance where the bartenders are hired because of their skill and personability. There are, however, a lot more places that hire bartenders based on how much tits and ass they've got hanging out. This, unfortunately, seems to be what's going on at the Chance.

While I don't like the changes and I miss my favorite bartenders, I still love this bar (fuck you Toby Keith for taking something so sacred and turning into such an awful song). This is exactly like when a person's favorite sports team trades away their favorite player, or in the case of the Pittsburgh Pirates, every good player that has come up through the farm system for the last decade or so.

This doesn't change the fact Pirates fans still love their team, they just hate the management that has run their team into the ground with trade after trade that has resulted in 17 straight losing seasons, while at the same time pulling in decent profits. It just goes to show that you can run a team in to the ground while still being financially successful.

It's the same way with bars. Tavern owners can reap huge profits all while ruining the character of their bar. I understand that business owners are in the business of making money and that they probably couldn't care less what their "regulars" think, so long as the money keeps coming in, but I would think at some point there would be a diminishing point of return for this gameplan.

I still love the Chance and will still hang out there all the time, I just hope it doesn't get much worse than it already is. Or, like I said in the updated review for the Chance, maybe we could stage a mutiny like in episode 122 of Cheers!

I'm sure a lot of you will bash me for this post and I fully expect some more haters to leave comments here under "anonymous" but I don't really care. Regulars make taverns what they are and without them and their happiness they're just empty shells with booze.

Cheers to regulars and cheers to the Last Chance, I still love ya!

P.S. I can't believe it took this long to make reference to Cheers!

Laziness Update/News Around Town/Links (OK Just One)/Holy Shit It's the One Year Anniversary of the PBR!

2010-09-28T15:52:00.000-05:00

I was looking for a funny "anniversary" picture and stumbled on this. I felt obligated to share this with you. Yes, that is a male camel toe, Happy Tuesday!

I wasn't really planning on writing a post because of all the work I have going on this week but I happened upon something that forced my hand. I'll get to that in a minute but as for right now I'll give you some updates on the goings on here in the P.

First off, Willie York is alive and well. He stopped in to Roger's Place last Thursday and picked up a pint of Aristocrat Vodka, old Willie looked pretty good. He spent the next half hour sitting on a bench across the street, yelling at cars and presumably, the people in them. A Things Unique To Peoria post about Willie is in the works but I could use your help. If anyone has any funny/cool stories about Willie or some biographical information (real stuff, not legend, I already know all that), feel free to send me an email at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com.

The place next to Tomcats on Pioneer Parkway has changed names once again. It used to be called St. Pauli Pub and is now called Joe's Grill (I think). These two bars have always been connected until recently. I went to Tomcats last week and noticed that a wall has been put up between the two establishments. Tomcats and the constantly changing bar next to it have always confused the fuck out of me. Does the guy who owns Tomcats own the other place? If so, why does the name and layout change all the time? Does Tomcats cook the food or does the other bar? Why after all these years are they finally seperating the two bars? Just what in the fuck is goin on here!?!? I have had all these questions for a long time. Maybe, I'm obsessive about this issue but I have never understood what the hell is up with that place, which is part of the reason I don't like it that much. The place just creeps me out. Also it's a douchbag bar, which leads me to....

Chicagonow.com has compiled a list of the top ten d-bag bars in Chicago. In case you forgot, I took some heat for calling out some taverns here in Peoria for being "douchebag bars." Make sure you pop over there and take a look at the post to know the places to avoid. Unfortunately, a few of these bars are in Wrigleyville which I can understand. It just pains me to have to share my Cub fandom with so many Red-Bull chugging douche-nozzles. Just as a reminder to those who didn't like the Douchebag Bars post; go fuck yourselves!

When I started this post, I didn't realize the historical significance of this day. One year ago today, I started this blog on a whim.The PBR has really snowballed into something I never really thought it would be. I honestly didn't think I would do much other than trash a couple bars and tell some goofy stories. What happened was I ended up going to a bunch of bars, that, if it weren't for this blog, I probably would never have stepped foot in. Most of these bars were just meh but quite a few have become favorite places of mine. I'm talking about Roger's Place, and Katie McButt's, among others. It wasn't just the bars themselves that I took to but the people in them.

I think there's a lesson to be learned from this. It's a very simple one and you've probably heard it before. Don't judge a book by its cover. Peorians are generally lame and judgemental and afraid to try new or different things. Yah, I said it, I've lived here my whole life and if you haven't noticed this fact, than you've not been paying attention or, you are one of them. So, get out of your box, go to a dive bar, and talk to the people there. You never know, you might even make a new friend, I certainly have.

If bars aren't your thing, there's lots of other ways to engage yourselves in the community. The more we all get together the better this place can be. If Peorians continue to box themselves in to their part of town, eventually everything below the hill will look like a fucking warzone or the South Side of Chicago. I don't think that's what any of us want. It's a hell of a lot harder to ignore the plights of others when you interact with them. I've learned a lot about the people of South Peoria by hanging out with them and, you know, actually listening to what they are saying!

So, on this day, the First Anniversary of the Peoria Bar Review, I would just like to say; cheers to me! If anyone else would like to make a toast to TheChief, feel free to do so in the comments!

The Irish Villa

2010-09-21T18:24:00.001-05:00

Holy shit it's hot out there! Is this September 20th or August 20th? Anyway, before I hand over the reigns to the newest PBR staff member, Fontana, I just wanted share a couple of things with our readers.

In case you didn't notice, there's a new poll up on the top right hand side of the page. I encourage you to vote early and often just like they do in Chicago. The Peoria Bar Review's one year anniversary is fast approaching and we would really like to know how you are going to celebrate. As for myself, well, I'll figure that out when the day comes. I'll do a full post on this subject later but for now you've got a review to read.

And now, what you've all been waiting for, the long awaited premiere of the newest PBR staffer. Fontana, take it away..........

Thank you! Thank you! This feels like home already. While I know I can't compare to the talented and eloquent Chief, hopefully you will enjoy my stay here at the PBR as much as I do. My first trip into the world of bars (as a reviewer that is) was almost so good it was bad. We had such a great time and good food that it will be hard for the other places to match up. Which locale set the bar so high you ask?

The Irish Villa!

Located at 3333 Northeast Adams Street in Peoria, I was at first worried about entering. The parking lot was deserted and the windows seemed dark. I thought the chances of a shanking were good. But upon entering, the atmosphere was warm and inviting. Game machines lined the wall to your left and a well stocked bar (complete with rotating Budweiser Clydesdale lights) to your right. We had a few beers and ordered some food. The owner gladly put the football game on t.v. and we made small talk from across the bar.

I am a sucker for festivals and games that will take my money - so you can imagine my delight when my eye caught the Claw Machine! Heaven! It was in a back room with a number of great bar games - Golden Tee, Darts, Pool Table, and a really badass pinball machine called "Fire." So we played some games and won some prizes.

Our group didn't dine on the most traditional Irish fare, but the food was delicious! The Chief had a steak which I believe he is going to tell you all about, and I ordered a BBQ sandwich and fries. The BBQ was seasoned to perfection and the bun soft and moist. When given the choice between regular french fries and river fries, I went with the former, but have no doubt that the latter would have been great as well. Eitak had a salad and the accompanying garlic breadsticks would put any pizza or Italian place to shame.

It was clear however, that the time to dine there is St. Patrick's Day. When talking to owner, Bob Buchanan he said they order in 900 lbs of corned beef, serve 400 lbs of Irish Stew, and bake 100 lbs of soda bread. People line up down the block to get in and the rooms are packed with people. Talking to Bob was really enjoyable and before we left we all shared a drink. I don't recall if it had a name, but it was whiskey and a brand of Irish Cream that Bob has sworn by for years called St. Brendan's.

That claw machine didn't stand a chance

We had a great time at the Irish Villa and will definitely be back again. Bob said he was the man who brought the Lemon Drop shot to Peoria and judging by the rest of the menu I know it will not disappoint.

Current hours are Thursday - Saturday from 4:30 PM until about 10 PM. For more photos and information, check out their Facebook page at The Irish Villa Pub.

Great job Fontana! And yes you are right, that claw machine didn't have a Glenn Beck's chance at a scholarly debate! I will say that the steak I had was certainly a great deal and more importantly cooked to perfection, which is not an easy task with a thin 10 inch ribeye.

I also fully understand Fontana's misgivings about the Villa, especially considering we had the place to ourselves on a Friday night at 7:00. But, as you can tell we were all pleasantly surprised by the service, quality of food and atmosphere of the Villa.

If I may, I must make a quick editorial comment. Places like the Villa are often overlooked because of their appearnce or location. This is just a shame, too many people from Peoria ignore places like the Villa because they're stuck up or just plain stupid. I'm here to tell you right now, I don't care what the place looks like, good food is good food.

The same can be said for people and atmosphere. If I had a choice between the Irish Villa and 309 I would definitely pick the Villa. Don't worry I'll explain why in a future review, let me just say that I will not be kind to the new restaurant, unless a return trip provides a better experience.

Once again thanks to Fontana for her hard work. I know you're all looking forward to more post from her.

Cheers to the Irish Villa and cheers to Fontana!

Another Talented Barfly Joins the PBR Crew, Say Hello to C-Note!

2010-09-19T13:22:00.001-05:00

If this dude was a white jew and was wearing cowboy boots, it would look exactly like the REAL C-Note!

Well, things are moving on at a pretty good clip here recently. Friend of the PBR and former whiskey baron C-Note will be popping in from time to time to offer his musings mostly on East Peoria bars. Don't worry though folks, despite the fact that C was born and raised on the goofy side of the river, he has actually turned out to be a fairly well balanced individual.

I've only known C-Note for a few months but our time together has been nothing short of magical. We have a lot in common. Both of us enjoy blowing shit up, shooting guns off in the middle of the street, drinking tortilla chip flavored whiskey, watching crappy Illini football, listening to classic suicide kuntry, and just general vicodin induced buffoonery.

I have no doubt C-Note will bring a fresh perspective on the goings on in Tazewell County. After all, he's been doing just that for years now. Granted, his thoughts were generally overlooked by the narrow minded bar folk of East Peoria but no longer. Now, through the magic of this series of tubes we call the internet (R.I.P. Ted Stevens) C-Note can finally voice his opinions for all to hear!

Cheers to C-Note and cheers to E.P. You are Peoria's slow cousin that we just can't help but love!

Say Hello To the Newest PBR Staff Writer, Fontana!

2010-09-18T12:24:00.002-05:00

Good news loyal readers, I have found someone to fill in and provide you with some reviews this semester! Her name is Fontana and she has been a good friend and experienced drinking companion since the early days (high school).

Having recently quit her job, Fontana figured now would be the perfect time to start drinking heavily and enjoy some of the fine taverns and questionable joints our Fair City has to offer! Now, Fontana and I have different taste when it comes to bars. As much as she appreciates the seedy dive bars that I have come to love, I think she would much rather go to places that aren't so sketchy. I have encouraged her though to check out a few dives that I haven't had a chance to get to yet and I think she will make time for at least one of them. But, if you can think of a bar you've always wondered about or a new place that has just opened, or you just want to write me and tell me how fucking awesome this blog is, don't hesitate to send an email to peoriabarreview@yahoo.com.

On another note, I have added some photos to the review of Hoops that I shot after their recent renovation, so make sure you get your ass over there to check those out. What's that? You're busy? That's bullshit, it's raining out and it's College Gameday, don't fucking lie to me, you don't have shit going on, I can see right through your lies! Oh and on another another note, Bolts, Eitak, and I hit up a couple places in East Peoria (yikes!) last night and I'll try to pump out a review for one of them. I have to say that E.P. just kind of creeps me out. I don't know what it is about the place but there's just something that's not quite right about that section of Tazewell County. As Bobby Bolts would say, "It's a whole 'nother world over there."

Back to Fontana. I want you guys to be nice to the girl during her time here. If you aren't, well, I just have to say that she isn't a big fan of taking shit from people, so watch out. Plus, she used to cut up dead people and inject them with what I assume is some kind of vinegar, so she's pretty handy with a blade. In other words, DO NOT FUCK WITH HER!

The Sports Page Has Closed and That's About It For This Post

2010-09-12T15:26:00.000-05:00

Just after writing the last post, I realized I had forgotten another piece of news. It seems that another bar has fallen prey to the bad economy. The Sports Page, near Sheridan and McClure in central Peoria has closed. A source of the PBR told staff writer Bobby Bolts that the owner of the Elbo Room has purchased the the Page and plans on re-opening the tavern.

The Page was an alright destination, it was never one of my personal favorites but it had a steady stream of regulars who I'm sure miss their bar. Whether or not the name and layout of the bar will remain the same is up to speculation. Not that the Page was in disrepair but in my mind, there's a lot that could be done with the place to distinguish it from many of the other bars in the area. A source of the PBR claimed the selling price was near $160,000.

Much like Webb's I have to say this another instance of "kinda saw that one coming." I'm not sure what it was but it just seemed that the Page was never really that much of a destination. It was a serviceable bar but there wasn't really anything special about the place. Hopefully the new owner(s) can put a new spin on the place. The Elbo Room is a really unique place and draws a great crowd just about every night of the week. I'll be looking forward to see what the Page becomes.

Cheers to the Sports Page, we hardly knew ye.

Locks

2010-09-10T15:16:00.002-05:00

I've been looking forward to doing this post for a while now and the time has finally come. If you're a regular reader here, you'll know that the PBR covers a lot of dive bars. Almost without fail, every bathroom in these taverns has a hook locks. In some cases, the door has been there long enough to have survived several lock movements.

The only problem is that I didn't really do a good job of recording what bar goes with what lock. Some of the pictures included in this post I am absolutely sure I have matched the right bar with the right lock. Others, are still up to debate and still others, I just have no idea where they came from. So, if you recognize a lock from a particular bar, or have a correction, e-mail me at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com.

I highly doubt anyone reading this pays anywhere neat as much attention to dive bar locks as I do but I still think they're really cool. I'm a huge dork like that.

Enjoy!

I'm almost positive this is the lock on the men's bathroom of Dome Tap.

I honestly have no clue about this one.

Men's lock at the Hillside

Men's lock at Jan's Tap

Women's lock at the Hillside

Men's lock at Roger's Place

Left - Women's lock at Jan's

Women's lock at Silver Dollar

Women's lock at Red Barn

I'm not sure about this one either. If I had to guess I'd say it's the women's lock at Roger's Place.

That's all for now folks! I'm sure I'll add to this post ame goes on but I sure could use some help! So, if you want to send in any pictures of locks, or have any corrections for me, shoot me an email at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com

Cheers!

Laziness Update/News Around Town

2010-09-10T14:08:00.001-05:00

Lazy, lazy, lazy, I know. But you people have been lazy too! How am I to pick my fantasy football quarterback without your input? For the next poll, I'll try to think of something that everyone has an opinion on. I'm open to suggestions. If anyone has some ideas, send me an email at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com.

First, there is some site news. I've added some pictures to the review of Mike's Tavern. I went there over the holiday weekend. Nothing has change except for the fact that someone has added a full can of Bud Light to the massive collection of antique bottles and cans behind the bar. I'm assuming they did this because the cans got a makeover earlier this year. Next time, I'll try to get a shot of their collection.

On another note. I'm pretty sure Webb's Pub at Tanglewood has closed. A friend of the PBR tried to go their on a recent weeknight. There was a sign on the door that read "kitchen closed" and the door was locked. I know the pub hasn't been doing as much business as I remember it doing 3-4 years ago and I kind of had a feeling that it was going to close.

The last few times I went there, I could almost feel it in the air. It seemed like the place was just taking it's final breaths before going down. This place was a real solid boozer five years ago and I can't really point to one specific thing that lead to its downfall, the atmosphere just seemed to change. I spent a lot of late nights in this bar and almost always had a good time. Webb's was the best Cubs bar in Peoria. No matter what day or time it was, if the Cubs were playing, the game sound AND audio, was on. I hope the place makes a comeback but I kind of doubt it.

R.I.P. Webb's

And a very solemn cheers

90.7 WAZU FM Peoria's First Community Radio Station

2010-08-27T15:00:00.000-05:00

This post will be quick for now because I have to go to work. 90.7 WAZU FM is Peoria's newest radio station. The radio station is a service provided by Illinois Central College. Currently the station is simulcasting programs from a radio station in Missouri. The goal of WAZU is to have all local content with the only national programs being news and weather. Go to WAZU's website and find out what it is they are looking for.

One of the things that WAZU is looking for are local musicians. If you are a musician from the Peoria area with original music, this radio station would be a great way to plug your band! If anyone is interested in submitting their music send an email to the station manager Jeremy at wazufm@gmail.com.

In the mean time, make sure you tune in to WAZU and catch all their programming. There music, news, talk, and even radio plays! This weekend tune in to hear an interview with the late Dan Fogelberg's wife ahead of the tribute concert to take place this weekend! Speaking of weekends, we at the PBR wish you the best for yours, just make sure the soundtrack to your good times is provided by 90.7 WAZU FM!

Cheers to local music and cheers to WAZU!

And Now, Time For Something Completely Different: Hick'ry Stick Catering and Cafe

2010-08-26T14:35:00.001-05:00

First off, I must inform you that I've found someone to do some guest posts here at the PBR but I'll elaborate on that in a later post. I think I've found a way to keep things moving here and step out of the "bar box" I've been in since the start of this blog. During the semester I can't drink as much as I'd like. What this means is that when I do drink I tend to stay close to home, in other words I can't get out to new and different places. Even when the weekend comes around, I'm usually so burnt out I just hit up one of my locals like Last Chance or Recovery Room or the occasional trip to Katie McButt's.

However there is one thing I do a lot of during the school months, eat! So, I've decided to leave the bar reviews to the newest member of the PBR staff and I'll handle the restaurant reviews, starting right now. Here we go!

Hick'ry Stick Catering has been serving the Peoria area for 15 years. It was only recently though, that they opened their doors to carry-out and dine in customers. The business, located at 1122 E. McClure just a block off of Prospect. Mary Foster and her children run the business and provide a bright spot of entreprenuership in an otherwise dim neighborhood. Not only do they provide a badly needed business investment in the East Bluff but they themselves are invested in the neighborhood's progress. On opening day for the cafe, the Foster family donated 80% of its profits to charities and neighborhood associations. This is the kind of community involvement that is truly appreciated here at the PBR. If you want to know how the cafe came to be, check out this article by John Sharp of the Journal Star.

I stopped in yesterday for lunch. I was going to go to McDonald's (I know baaaaaad Chief!) but they were packed when it dawned on me...Hick'ry Stick! I couldn't remember exactly where it was so I figured I'd just drive around on the East Bluf for a bit. I took a right off Prospect and there it was, staring me right in the face. The parking lot is small, so it would probably be best to find a spot on the street.

From what it sounds like, the building that houses the new cafe was more or less abandoned when the Foster family purchased it in a foreclosure sale. Now, the building has been given a new life and quite a facelift. The decor is clean and tasteful, complete with a small electronic fireplace and a flame influenced, painted wall.
The Fosters did a nice job of providing some fresh landscaping and a new concrete ramp for handicapped customers. The dining area is small, with only three tables, so carry out is probably your best bet. I opted to sit down. No matter what decision you make, your food will be served in carry-out boxes but with food this good, I don't think you'll mind.

I had a pulled pork sandwich which was small but filling, with an order of fries. With tax, the meal was $9.34, a tad expensive but I'm willing to pay a little more to support a local business. The fries were fresh cut and fried to perfection with no grease. The sandwich was amazing! It was on good bread, you know, the kind that doesn't turn to mush by the time your done eating! The pork was perfect, not too greasy and not too dry. What really hit the spot was the sauce. At first, I thought it tasted a lot like Big John's; a not too thick, vinegar based barbecue sauce. While there are similarities there is one thing that sets Hick'ry River's sauce apart from any I've ever had. I noticed that the sauce had a purplish hue to it and by the end of my finger licking session I'm pretty sure I found the culprit. I'm almost positive that the barbecue sauce has a hint of cinnamon! Maybe this is something that is quite popular but I've never heard of it before and it was delicious.

There are a lot of other things on the menu at Hick'ry Stick, two that I'm interested in are the Porky Fries and the Beefy Fries, two appetizers that intrigue me. They also have beef brisket which grabbed third place for best entree at this year's Taste of Peoria, an avocado vegetarian sandwich, desserts, and even some homemade pinapple lemonade.

If you are interested in having Hick'ry Stick cater your event stop by their website, hickrystick.com. For coupons and event information go to their facebook page. To place orders or call in for carry out call Hick'ry River at 309-685-7600.

Cheers to local businesses and cheers to Hick'ry Stick Catering and Cafe!

End of Summer/Transition Period/Site News

2010-08-25T21:57:00.002-05:00

Look out!

I know nobody wants to admit it but we all know summer is coming to a close and there aint a damn thing you can do about it. Yes, it's that special time of year folks. The time of year when the Cubs are mercifully put out of their misery and the Bears are unmercifully forced to embark on another season in the No Fun League.

Oh, and it's also that time of year when Brett Favre comes out of retirement once again for all of our enjoyment. I made a bet with DS for a twelve pack of my choice that Grampy Brett would be back this year, he said no and I, being the smartest person I know, said yes. To win my twelver of Red Stripe, Ole Favra has to start one (1) regular season game this year. DS and I are in agreement that the ~~best~~ most hilarious possible scenario would be for Brett Lorenzo Favre to start the game, only to have his fragile, surgically-repaired ankle snap like the fingers of a Maury Povich guest under the weight of some crazed defensive lineman. Actually, I hope that Favre's career ending injury takes place at one Soldier Field by one Brian Urlacher. Like this.

The only reason I let you hold on to that football is because now I'm going to make you eat it.

The Cubs aren't the only sad part of this post though. I must inform you good folks that the Peoria Bar Review is going to go on a bit of a hiatus. I've loaded up on classes and have taken a second job and this means that the PBR is going to suffer. I will continue to provide the occasional bar review and the always fun Laziness Updates, but these posts will be a lot farther apart than they have previously been. This sucks for me almost as much as it does to you, because I would much rather be reviewing bars, talking shit about the city council, and participating in general buffoonery than going to school and work. Unfortunately though, writing this blog doesn't exactly bring in the big bucks, or any bucks, so therefore I must pursue my schmeducation and work my jobs to make ends ~~meat~~ meet.

Another reason I'm slowing things down here is because I've kind run out of places want to review.I could do all the usual places like Crusens etc. but to be quite honest that doesn't really sound like that much fun. If you've ever read the PBR, you should know that our staff generally prefers the lesser known bars. It just seems like those places that are off the beaten path (some would call them dive bars) are more fun than the places that everyone usually goes to. Peoria has some great taverns and one of the main themes of the PBR has been to expose these hidden gems and give them some credit for holding it down in some of our Fair City's older neighborhoods. If you can't respect that, then you can Fuck Off.

The PBR staff still has a pretty substantial list of places to be reviewed, it's just going to take a while to get to them, so be patient. Also, several of these bars are Peoria Institutions that I am saving for bar-hopper extraordinaire and friend of the PBR, Marty Wombacher. He'll be in town around Christmas and I am looking forward to meeting him in person and tearing up the P! If you want to get your bar review fix go check out his website aguywalksinto365bars.com and you can go to a new bar (via the internet) everyday!

If anyone feels they're up to it, I'd be more than happy to have someone do some guest posts here at the PBR. So, if you're interested email me at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com and I'll set you up with an ~~application~~ interview at a bar where I will see if you've got the right stuff. A word of warning though, this job isn't for everyone, it takes a lot of skill and training. Teach you the ways of drink I will.

Enjoy the sweatshirt weather to come and cheers for now folks!

Hoops Pub and Pizza

2010-08-20T13:27:00.002-05:00

This picture is old, Adam's Apple is now Gin Joint. My encyclopedic knowledge of Peoria area bars knows no bounds.

Hoops is located at 516 Main St. in downtown Peoria. That last sentence was such a waste, if you don't know where Hoops is, you just haven't been paying attention. Hoops has been a mainstay in downtown Peoria for the last fourteen years. Pryor* to this, the building that houses Hoops was a small restaurant known as Pepperoni's.

*For an explanation of this error see Things Unique To Peoria: Richard Pryor

Speaking of this building, it is fucking old, probably one of the oldest in Peoria. Technically the entire building that holds Hoops, Judge's Chamber, Club Ice, Gin Joint, and Whammy Bar is all part of the Madison Theatre. Hoops is the only one of these establishments that isn't owned in some way by Big Al. All of the other bars in this building are in some way, leased or rented from ~~King Douche~~ Al himself. It is my hope that Al never gets his greedy hands on Hoops, lest he turn into a sleazy nightclub complete with ostrich skinned booths and $8 beers.

Hoops is known for its pizza. According to a recent poll at the PBR, Hoops was voted as having the best pizza in Peoria. I was listening to Rush I Love Oxycontin Limbaugh the other day and he utilized a low rent tactic whereby he questioned the manhood of anyone who called themselves a liberal much less anyone who voted for one. Well, I am about to use that tactic right now. There is only one way to eat a slice of pizza at Hoops if you are a "real" man. This munching method is known as "pinch and fold" (copyright 2010 Peoria Bar Review). When you order a slice at Hoops you will be equipped with the following; a plate, a knife, a fork, parmesan cheese, hot sauce and red pepper flakes. The first thing you should do put a generous amount of parmesan on your slice to soak up the grease. Then, top it with red pepper. Next, pick up your slice with your thumb and middle fingers. Place your first finger in the middle of the crust, then pinch and fold until the crust cracks. This will result in a doubled-over slice of pizza that is one of the greatest culinary treats in Peoria. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU EVER USE A KNIFE AND/FORK TO EAT YOUR SLICE OF PIZZA! This is an act of blasphemy that greatly offends the pizza gods. If you do use a knife and fork you must eat three Papa John's and one Domino's as your penance. There is a lot more than just pizza on the menu but you'll just have to take my word for it because the menu is enormous. Off the top of my head, I can tell you that the nachos are amazing. They're topped with Italian beef and jalapenos and are a cheesy, delicious mess.

There are more tables than seats at the bar at Hoops but no matter where you are, there is a tv in sight. Behind the bar is a giant bookcase-looking thing that holds the massive selection of booze available for your drankin pleasure. The walls are adorned with local sports memorabilia. The items include two Bradley basketball jerseys from the days when blue was part of the school's colors. The jerseys belong to former NBA-er Hersey Hawkins and Hoops owner Kerry Cook. Another great piece of history on the walls of Hoops is hockey sweater* from the Peoria Blades. Logo seen below.

*Sweater is hockey slang for jersey. DO NOT call a hockey sweater a jersey, it offends the hockey gods. You're welcome for teaching you something new.

In case you didn't notice, the goalie's legs are Caterpillar tractor tracks. The actual logo uses a white, blue, and yellow color scheme. The Blades were Peoria's hockey team from 1972-82. For two years the Blades became the Prancers and rocked this awesome fucking logo.

Eventually, the Prancers became the Peoria Rivermen and went on to win the IHL's Turner Cup, serve as the IHL home of such hockey greats as Tony Twist, Dominic Lavoie, and my childhood hero, Ricky Pion. There is also a fair amount of Bradley basketball paraphernalia, which is probably part of why it is so popular among the Hilltopper alumni. Before and after Bradley games, Hoops is always packed with Braves fans getting their pizza fix. So, the next time you are at Hoops, make sure you take some time to admire all the local sports history that adorns the bar.

While the bar downstairs is decorated with a local flair, the upstairs bar has a much more tropical feel. There's a tiki bar and picnic tables to eat and drink at. Hoops is the only tavern in Peoria that I can think of that has two bars in the same building that vary so much in decor. The upstairs isn't always open but during the wee hours of the morning, both bars are almost always operating at full capacity. Draft and bottled beers are available upstairs and downstairs.

Hoops is a place that holds a certain distinction among several groups of people. My Bradley alumni friends always talk fondly of late nights at Hoops, as well as most anyone who has ever worked at a bar downtown. Whilst googling Hoops, I came across several reviews of Hoops from out-of-towners who had nothing but praise for the bar and their food. The third group is made up of those of us like the PBR staff, that still enjoy spending a night downtown. Sometimes it can get a little Weird when Club Ice is packed but really, since the closing of Fourplay, Main St. has become a much more enjoyable place to be. Read: less douchebags. This is especially true now that Whammy Bar is going strong with their diverse group of bands cycling through.

Before I forget, I have to mention Steve, or as he is more often called "Nappy". Steve has been working at Hoops since its founding and is a true pro. Not to mention he has one of the most bad ass mullets I've ever seen. Steve's mullet could kick the shit out of Jared Allen's mullet* with one hand tied behind its back. Yah, you read that right, Steve's mullet actually has its own fucking hands. You can not fuck with that shit.

*Ha! Are you kidding me? When did you start growing that, yesterday? My dick has a better mullet than that!

I can't imagine there are many people reading this that live in the Peoria area and have never been to Hoops. It seems that this bar is one of those places that just about everyone has been to at least once. So, for those of you reading this who have found yourself in our Fair City, make sure you stop by Hoops for a slice, or ten. Hoops has booze and food till 4 AM everyday of the week, so no matter what time you get into town, Hoops is there to serve you!

Cheers to great pizza and cheers to Hoops!

Things Unique To Peoria: The Grand Nationals

2010-08-19T19:38:00.002-05:00

It is almost here folks! The Grand Nationals pretty much mark the end of summer and I couldn't think of a better way to do so. The Grand Nationals, or the TT's as they are more often called is a motorcycle race that takes place each year at the Peoria Motorcycle Club race park. For the past 62 years, motorcycle enthusiasts from all over the world have made the trip to Peoria in order to take in this one of a kind event. The Peoria TT's is the oldest dirt track motorcycle race in the world, I'd say that makes it pretty unique. Tens of thousands of motorcycles will invade Peoria and surrounding communities this weekend and virtually all of them will be at PMC race park on Sunday, August 22 for the races.

For the PBR crew, the TT's is our biggest day of the year. Its like Christmas, the 4th of July, Labor Day and Memorial Day weekends all rolled into one. Each year we meet at Sidewinder's house around 7 AM and arrive at the race park around 8. By the time the time trials start we are all well on our way to a rip roaring drunk. While I do appreciate the amount of skill and effort put forth by the riders and their teams, I can't remember any previous winners. I do know that Chris Carr has won the Grand Nationals a bunch but other than that, I'm at a loss. This is because by the time the race is over, I'm usually too inebriated to walk a straight line, much less remember the name of whoever won the race.

When you walk down the steep hill towards the track there's really not much to be seen. When you reach the bottom however, you see the track laid out before you, surrounded on all sides by hills of grass dotted with a massive selection of humanity. Even if you don't like racing or motorcycles in particular, there is enough people watching to keep your interest for the entire afternoon. If you like ink, this is your place. There's bad tattoos, good ones and plenty of weird ones to go around.

Each year I trod down the hill and find my way to the tunnel, try to stay out of the ~~piss~~ water and walk underneath the track. When I emerge on the other side, I clamber up the wall, lean on the chain link fence and watch rider after rider fly over the jump, slam down on the ground, hit the brakes and put their foot down to take on turn number three, then accelerate briefly into turn four before the balls out throttling that takes place on the straight away.

Everyone has their favorite spots at PMC race park. Some like to take it all in by sitting high up on one of the hills, others get as close as they can by standing with hands clenched on the chain link fence as the riders fly down the straight away at speeds that seem ridiculous when compared to the size of the track. My spot will always be at the jump. I don't care how old I get or how many times I'm told to get off the wall, I will always stand their for a few laps each year. I'm usually the only person over the age of 18 that feels the need to do this, but fuck it, it's the Grand Nationals!

I realize that not everyone looks forward to or has as much of an appreciation for the Grand Nationals as I do but you have to exhibit some amount of civic pride in the event. To me the TT's symbolize the changing of season. Hang on, I'm going somewhere with this. Each year we look forward to joys of spring while we suffer through the doldrums of winter. Spring comes and then summer. Most of us do as much as we can do enjoy it while it last. This is what I call the "Drinking Season". It basically coincides with baseball season. The PBR Crew considers drinking season to be April through October, when most folks stop going out as much and spend more time at home.

The TT's represent this cycle all in one day, for me at least. The weeks and days leading up to the race are filled with anticipation, just like the later months of winter when we start thinking about spring. When race day comes, it's like that first April day when the sun shines and the thermometer reads 60 degrees. The time trials can be compared to those spring months like March and April when the weather is hit and miss. By the time they are over and the actual race starts, it is just like that first day when you realize that spring has passed, summer is officially here and there will be no more days when the temperature drops below 70 degrees and you can just sit back and enjoy the season. By the time the races are over, you realize that summer is as well. It's late August, which means September is just around the corner. That means football, then comes October which means hockey and we all know that hockey means winter and it's all over. Whew, I wasn't sure if I was going to make that work, but I think I did!

Despite the fact that the Grand Nationals signal the end of summer, there is still plenty to be happy about. First off, this race has never been rained out. Ok, maybe not never but hardly ever. Two years ago the race was rained out towards the end but most of the spectators entertained themselves by sliding down the muddy hills. Also, there is a ton of shit going on down at the Riverfront. There will be thousands of bikes, broads, and bands, and maybe some food. Eddie Money will play on Saturday night along with several other acts.

Cheers to Peoria and cheers to the Grand Nationals!

Editor's Note: I wasn't able to find any pictures online of the track itself but all that will change come Monday because I'm going to upload approximately two shitloads of pics onto this blog. Due to the massive popularity of the PBR, I'm sure it won't be long until said pics have flooded every corner of the interwebs with their Peoria filled splendor. Cheers!

T.U.T.P. Scale
Thingness - 10/10
Uniqueness - 10/10
Peorianess - 10/10

Laziness Update/News Around Town/Site News!

2010-08-16T13:26:00.001-05:00

Who are these Kardashians again? What's that? Sister? Big ass? Sex tape? Got it. Starts humming Battle Hymn of the Republic.

I know, you're probably getting sick of these but you're just going to have to deal with it. First off, I'm writing these just to let all of the PBR's loyal readers know that TheChief is alive and well, there are however, a few PBR staffers that have gone missing, so if anyone has seen or heard from Bobby Bolts shoot me an email or something.

Statcounter has informed me that a ton of people have stumbled upon the PBR by inquiring about the Fox Pub and Cafe, so I figured I had better provide some insight into the fare at the Fox and not just the booze. After many months, I have finally made my return to the Fox for eating purposes. This is especially difficult for me because I usually like to eat a hearty meal and drink a glass of milk with it before a drinking session. I have found that when I mix eating with the game of drink I tend to get sleeeeepy. But, duty calls and you, dear reader are the benefactor of my night out on the town. You can read the updated review at this location. It's good to see a locally owned business doing well. Cheers to you North Peoria for avoiding the shitty chain restaurants near Grande Prarie! Sometimes, I think you might actually have your shit figured out, the other night at the Fox was one of those times. Next step, putting Jillian's out of business! Seriously, fuck that place.

In case you have forgotten, friend of the PBR, Marty Wombacher is on day 218 of his virtual bar crawl, go check out his latest post! Go check it out, I mean what else do you have to do? Work, what's that? No, fuck that shit GATOR DON'T PLAY NO SHIT!*

Finally, I promise the PBR will have a review up within the next two weeks, even if I have to hound down one of my photographers and make them write it. Beware though, photogs rarely make good writers, that's why they take pictures because "a picture is worth a thousand words." Well, most photographers don't even know a thousand words, much less possess the ability to form them into coherent sentences. I'll be patiently awaiting your sepia-toned hate mail photographers!

*You will not understand this reference until you go and see the Other Guys. Unfortunately, this one line was the funniest part of the entire movie.

Cheers for now folks!

Laziness Update/News Around Town

2010-08-09T19:08:00.000-05:00

I love you Snooki!

I know, I know you've been wondering just where in the hell I've been lately. Well, that is a really complex answer that would take way too much time to explain. Don't worry though, a new review is coming soon, so don't get your panties in a twist. And if you're not wearing panties, well, that's cool, as long as you are wearing a skirt, preferably on a windy day (ladies only please). And now, as Shepard Smith would say, the news starts anew.

The downstairs portion of Hoops has just undergone a massive renovation and is now open for business. Don't worry though, you can get what the loyal readers of this blog (well, 25 of them at least) determined to be the best pizza in Peoria until 4 am. A word of warning though, the Peoria Police Department has stepped up loitering enforcement on the sidewalk in front of Hoops, Judge's, Club Ice, Gin Joint, and Whammy Bar. If you're hanging outside any of these establishments, you have to have wristband on or else the PPD will give you the boot. This makes sense. If you've ever been downtown late on the weekends you have probably noticed quite a few under 21 - ers mulling about dropping crappy pick up lines like, "hey white girl." These guys have got game, I don't know how many times I've hooked up with a chic by addressing her by her color of skin, playaz indeed. The PPD has also been enforcing the smoking ban, which states that anyone smoking must be eight feet away from the door, nevermind the fact that the sidewalk is only 15 feet wide laws are laws!

The Last Chance, another favorite of the PBR has also just completed a project. Their beer garden is now officially open for business. I haven't been up there since the grand opening last Thursday, but they are supposed to have a bartender on duty at the wet bar just inside the patio. My guess is that this will only take place on the weekends. In other Last Chance related news, the open mic has been going strong for a while now but I wanted to once again inform everyone that it starts at 10 and goes till close. The duo that performs there every Monday night is one half of the band Filthy River, one of the bands that played last night at Whammy Bar, along with Derrick Hart, Teaadora, Minor Broadcast and El Toro. They usually have a drummer but tonight will be without one. So if you know anyone who can play the skins tell them to bring their kit and ass up to the Last Chance to jam!

That's all for now folks and remember, drink the beer don't let the beer drink you! Cheers!

Laziness Update/News Around Town/Awesome Bands At the Whammy Bar

2010-07-27T15:40:00.001-05:00

Hello there! Disclaimer: I'm still drunk from last night, so this post will probably be chock full false information and grammatical errors. The PBR staff has been busy working on reviews of new bars for you but the hot weather has really hampered our progress. In the words of King Donk of Punchstania, it's hotter than eight bitches on a bitch boat! Enjoy it while you can though Central Illinois because we only have a little bit of summer to go before the weather turns and we are all forced to watch the Chicago Bears' never-ending quest for mediocrity! I will root for the Bears but it will be much easier on the eyes watching my beloved New York Jets, who will undoubtedly use their ground and pound offense and dominating defense to romp all over their division on their way to their first Super Bowl Championship since 1969! You heard it here first folks, take THAT espn!

Okay, back to business. It seems that Hoops managed to barely beat Agatucci's in our poll of the best pizza in Peoria. This kind of surprises me but in a good way. Unlike the previous poll which begged the question "what is the best bar on the North Side of Peoria?", it seems like the majority of you exhibited damn good taste in picking Hoops. This is the exact opposite of the results of the previous poll which officially name Kouri's as the best bar on the North Side. In case you didn't know, the PBR has taken a firm stance against this establishment but to each his own, I guess.

In other, non crappy bar related news, there has been a lot of work going on at the Last Chance as of late. For the past two months, an outdoor beer garden has been under construction and is nearing completion. It looks like it will be a great place to enjoy some drinks on a summer afternoon. It will also, be outfitted with heaters for the colder months. We at the PBR (especially DS) are patiently awaiting its grand opening which, hopefully will be soon.

I also wanted to let everyone know of a really big show that will take place at the Whammy Bar on Sunday, August 8th. It starts at 9 and goes till 2. Check out the Facebook event page. There is a $5 cover but it will definitely be worth it. Unlike paying the same cover at Crusen's to see one ~~crappy cover~~ band, you will enjoy original music from El Toro, Matt Shane, Derrick Hart and the End Times, Teadora, and Filthy River! So, if you thought there is nothing to do on Sunday, the 8th of August, you could not be more wrong! Come down to the Whammy Bar and support your local musicians! Or you could be lame and not do that, it's up to you. Just remember, Jesus is always watching you!

Editor's Note: There aren't many things better than a hot dog on a grill!

The Red Barn

2010-07-16T13:19:00.003-05:00

The Red Barn is located at 621 W. Glen Ave. in North Peoria near Sheridan Rd. The Red Barn, like the Hole in the Wall in Pekin is an extremely aptly named tavern. Whether or not this building ever served as a barn is beyond me but if I had to guess, I'd say no. In lieu of providing livestock, this barn provides live music. Fuck I'm clever! As a matter of fact there really is only two things to do at the Red Barn; drink and play or listen to music.

There is a small group of regulars that show up around 5 to watch the news and shoot the shit, but really this place is all about the music. There are only two (2) tv's and no games.That's right, no pool, no shuffleboard, no crackbox, Golden Tee, or Silver Strike. The Barn might be the only place in Peoria that doesn't have at least one of these entertainment options available. That's fine with me because the Red Barn is always booking bands (many from the Peoria area) to play. Tuesdays and Fridays are open mic nights with drums and a PA.

This is really why the Red Barn is so important to Peoria. It is one of many taverns like Pizza Works and the Whammy Bar that do their absolute best to support local and non-local original music. Sure, lots of bars book cover bands and lots of people pack Crusens and the like every weekend to see them. But for a bar owner to take a chance on a local, unsigned act to play in his/her bar takes a certain amount of courage. In short, this means that the owner is more commited to supporting upcoming musicians than packing their bar in order to make money. This kind of thing just doesn't happen that often anymore. If you can't appreciate that, than have fun at some other bar where the owner is more busy finding out ways to make money than trying to keep their patrons happy. I realize that not everyone is willing to take a chance on a band that they've never heard of but sometimes, it is necessary to step outside your comfort zone. You never know, you might stumble upon a gem like Tina Sparkle, the Yorktown Prophet, or Derrick Hart.

When you walk into the barn you'll see a small and extremely worn bar that, if you look closely used to be red. Years of elbows and beer spills have made the paint all but non-existent. The bar seats only about ten but there are several booths on the wall to sit at. As you walk towards the back, the bathrooms are on the left. Both the women's and the men's are covered with graffiti from folks all over the country who have either played with or watched a band at the Barn. The only maxim that comes to mind is; "Remember it is usually better to pissed off than pissed on!" Usually!? I would think it is always better to pissed off than pissed on but apparently this individual does not subscribe to that idea. You could spend an hour in each bathroom and still not finish reading all signatures, quotes, and words of wisdom inscribed in every corner.

Past the bathroom is the stage. It is only a few inches high but the tall ceiling makes it seem bigger. This is the part of the building that most resembles a barn. There are exposed rafters and a tall ceiling and the walls are bare wood. Other than the stage lights shining on the performers, the only illumination in the back room are small red candles that dot each table. I can attest that when you are on stage these candles stick out more than faces surrounding them. The contrast in atmosphere from the front bar area to the stage in back is staggering. It's like walking from a hole-in-the-wall in Peoria straight into a beatnik-era club in Greenwich Village. It is definitely one of my (and many others) favorite places to play. There is even an old church pew to relax on while enjoying music. A friend of the PBR made the observation that it is "surely not a Catholic pew, because it's much to comfortable." He's got a good point.

Originally, I intended to talk to the owner, Buffalo Dan Solomon and get some history on the Barn. I still plan on doing this but a recent article from Phil Luciano kind of changed the direction of this review. I won't go through all the details, you can read them here. Basically, the owner of the Back Store owns everything surrounding the Red Barn, including a shared parking lot. After years of paying rent on the lot and paying for its upkeep every year, this gentleman decided he wasn't making enough money in rent. Buffalo Dan said he would not pay the jacked up price, so the owner of the Back Store, Ken Humphrey, put up barricades to block the Barn's patrons from parking. Illegal? No. Dick move? Yes.

He has also purchased the old gas station on the corner of Sheridan and Glen and plans on turning it into a restaurant. I'm not sure how well that will work and I hope he does well. I am in support of any and all local businesses succeeding no matter how much of an ass the owner is. What doesn't make sense is why he would piss off many of the people who go to the Red Barn and could possibly be patrons at his new restaurant. After all, this is a neighborhood tavern and the Barn was there first, so I think it would be safe to say that the neighborhood's loyalties would lie with their bar. The reason I say that this is a dick move is because Solomon was originally paying $250 a month for shared use of the lot. In reality, this is an incredibly cheap price. Humphrey told Solomon he wanted $600 and Dan said no. Humphrey than countered with an offer of $500. Dan again said no and that was the end of the discussion. Could these two businessmen not split the difference? I have a feeling Buffalo Dan would be willing to do so. Whether or not Humphrey would is something I doubt. Rant over.

So, if you've never been to the Barn or you've been there a hundred times, go in and show your support, if you're so inclined. I would have no problem parking across the street if necessary in order to show my support for Buffalo Dan and the Red Barn.

Cheers to the Red Barn and cheers to local music!

The Whammy Bar

2010-07-15T18:45:00.004-05:00

The Whammy Bar is located at 500 Main St. in downtown Peoria. This location has been many things over the years; Euro Jack's, The 5th Amendment, Babe's, and most notably the original S.O.P.'s. Back when it was Sully's Other Planet, this place really hopped with live music all the time. The new version of S.O.P.'s has done a decent job in living up to that legacy but it fails in providing as intimate of an environment as there is at the Whammy Bar. I had never actually been to any of the former incarnations of 500 Main St. but fellow PBR staffer Bobby Bolts informed me that the layout of the bar is basically the same. That is not to say that the owners of the Whammy Bar didn't do an admirable job in outfitting it with some great rock and blues memorabilia. Also, back by the men's bathroom there is an old payphone booth that now holds a Chief. I'll get the pic up as soon as I find my fucking memory card.

In case you didn't know a whammy bar (also known as a tremolo bar) is, it is a device attached the bridge of a guitar that allows the musician to manipulate the pitch and tone of the guitar. It was first made famous by Chet Atkins and the great surf music of Dick Dale and the Ventures. It's popularity spread to rock and was utilized heavily by Hendrix and Zepellin among many others. Later, the whammy bar was instrumental in popularizing the "shred metal" bands of the 80's and especially Van Halen.

Gone is the small bar just inside the main entrance on Main and Madison. There is a new Valley pool table just to the right inside. Hanging high above the table are several encased and autographed guitars. I can't remember who has autographed the axes but I do know (ok, I think) Sheryl Crow is one of them. There are high topped tables to the right of the granite, horseshoe shaped bar. There is a small patio off of Madison Ave that is made up of a nice collection of antique Purington Pavers. At one time, many of the streets in downtown Peoria were made up completely of these bricks. The only problem is that you can't take your drinks outside after midnight. It's the same way at Hoops, I think it is some kind of city ordinance. What sucks about this, is that this rule makes sense for Club Ice, Gin Joint, and Judge's Chamber, none of which have any kind of patio furniture to set your drinks on. The Whammy Bar provides its patrons with nice high topped tables and chairs for your smoking and people watching pleasure.

Side note, last week when I was down at the Whammy, I was sitting outside enjoying a pleasant conversation with a very drunken individual when four (4) assholes on crotch rockets ripped their throttles open and it was so fucking loud, I couldn't hear a thing my friend was saying. Note to motorcycle riders making a shitload of noise on Main St. YOU ARE NOT COOL! Actually, you are quite lame. As a matter of fact, all you're really doing is pissing people off. I understand if you want to rip it open on some back country road or the interstate but Main Street just isn't the place. Not to mention the fact that the noise bounces back and forth between the buildings and makes it even louder than it would normally be. So, if you are one of those motorcycle riders reading this, let me just say that you are a douchebag and I hope you get pulled over and get a ticket for that shit. Rant over.

Back to the Whammy. One of the great things about this place is their stage. They've got lights, PA, sound board, the whole deal. They even give amateurs a chance to get up there on Wednesdays when local musician and friend of the PBR Derrick Hart, hosts an open mic night. The Whammy Bar also has plenty of bands booked on the weekends, go to their website, peoriawhammybar.com and check out their calendar of events.

The Whammy Bar also has food, a lot of it. Their menu is extensive, running the gamete from burgers, to burritos, salads and a whole lot more. I'm not sure if they serve till 4 in the morning but I would guess they serve till at least 2.

So cheers to the Whammy Bar for providing an amazing venue for local musicians to play, and for giving Main Street a classy oasis to drink booze at!

No cheers to motorcycle riders who think they're being filmed for the Fast and Furious 4, you guys are douches.

Update - Unfortunately, the Whammy Bar has closed and continued the failure of bars in this particular location. This sucks because, the Whammy Bar was such a great place to hear local and non-local musical acts. According to the Journal Star, another tenant has already been lined up. No word on whether or not the new owner will incorporate live music into the new bar's format.

R.I.P the Whammy Bar

Things Unique to Peoria: Richard Pryor

2010-07-15T12:57:00.004-05:00

I wasn't sure if I was going to do another one of these posts but this one just popped into my head this morning and I feel like a dumbass for not having thought of it before. Richard Pryor is without a doubt the most famous person to come from Peoria. The City of Peoria renamed a section of Sheridan Rd. near the River West Townhouses after him.

No, its Richard Motherfuckin Lennox Pryor III. Get your shit together Peoria!

If it were up to me, Main St. would be known as Richard Franklin Lennox Motherfuckin Pryor III Avenue. Pryor is considered by many to be the most influential comic of the 20th century. Jerry Seinfeld has called him "The Picasso of our profession." He is listed as number one on Comedy Central's list of all-time greatest stand up comedians.

Richard grew up on the South Side of Peoria in his grandmother's brothel (somewhere on Washington St.)where his mother was a prostitute before she abandoned him. I would love to know what building this brothel was located in but chances are it no longer exists. He was pretty much raised by his grandmother. Pryor to moving to NYC (yah I misspelled that, get used to it, it will now be a permanent fixture here at the PBR) Richard had a short stint in the army and worked in a mafia owned night club. According to him, he was the MC and once tried to stick up the owners because they refused to pay a stripper the money they owed her. There was just one flaw in his plan, he used a cap pistol for his robbery. The owners thought it was a joke and Richard turned it into one of the greatest bits ever in his stand-up special "Live At the Sunset Strip." Seriously, click this link and go watch the clip. If you've never seen Pryor before or you've seen him a million times this bit never gets old. Rich didn't just have great jokes, he was a master story teller, impressionist, and social commentator. This bit shows off all these skills in one 8 minute segment. Pure brilliance. Ok, I've just gotten distracted watching this clip, I forgot how many great lines are in it, just give me a sec.

.........

Ok, I'm back. Before his mainstream success, Rich made a name for himself doing material that was nowhere near as controversial as the stuff he would eventually become famous for. It was necesary though, as it helped him overcome his extreme stage fright. Consider this quote from Nina Simone on Richard's first few perfomances
"He shook like he had malaria, he was so nervous. I couldn't bear to watch him shiver, so I put my arms around him there in the dark and rocked him like a baby until he calmed down. The next night was the same, and the next, and I rocked him each time."

Pretty intense stuff for a guy that ten years later would have such an incredible stage presence he invoked standing ovations at his concerts. Towards the end of the sixties Pryor had what he later called an "epiphany". He was working a show in Las Vegas and when he walked out on stage simply said "What the fuck am I doing here?" then walked off stage. This was the beginning of Rich's evolution into the brand of stand up comedy that would make him famous and inspire a generation of comics. During the seventies Rich wrote for several tv shows, released a shitload of albums and began starring in movies, many with Gene Wilder. Go to Rich's Wikipedia page and brush up, on your Pryor knowledge, I guarantee there will be things you have forgotten about.

I would be remiss if I didn't include the Freebasing Incident. Rich had such a good sense of humor about something that most people would never want to talk about. One of my favorite lines from "Live At the Sunset Strip" is when he is explaining the incident and he says; "...one thing I find out is that when you are running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way". First, you have to go here and watch this clip from the special. Secondly, since I'm lazy, I'm going to copy and paste Wikipedia's description of the event.

On June 9, 1980, during the making of the film Bustin' Loose, Pryor set himself on fire after freebasing cocaine while drinking 151-proof rum. He ran down Parthenia St. from his Northridge, California, home until subdued by police. He was taken to the hospital, where he was treated for burns covering more than half of his body. Pryor spent six weeks in recovery at the Grossman Burn Center at Sherman Oaks Hospital. His daughter, Rain Pryor, stated that Pryor poured high-proof rum over his body and set himself on fire in a bout of drug-induced psychosis.[27]

Pryor incorporated a description of the incident into his "final" comedy show Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip in 1982. He joked that the event was caused by dunking a cookie into a glass of low-fat and pasteurized milk, causing an explosion. At the end of the bit, he poked fun at people who told jokes about it by waving a lit match and saying, "What's this? It's Richard Pryor running down the street."

I fucking love that joke. Eventually, Rich would go on to sign a contract for 40 million bucks with Columbia Pictures, and starred in Superman III. The only movie from this period that was not related to his contract with Columbia was the semi-autobiographical "Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling", parts of which were filmed right here in Peoria. Rich even co-wrote "Blazing Saddles" with Mel Brooks. After suffering a heart attack in 1977, Rich was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

In his lifetime Richard Pryor went from being a poor, abused kid from Peoria to one of the biggest movie stars of the 80's and arguably (not sure who you would pick other than Rich but you always have to say arguably) the greatest stand up comedian of all time. To me, Rich will always hold this distinction. Oh, and he starred in over 50 films, had 6 children, was married 7 times to 5 different women, made a shitload of money, donated a shitload of money to charity, influenced a generation of comics, and changed the way we deal with issues of race and social class. Not bad for a skinny, foul-mouthed, drug-addled kid from Peoria.

Richard Pryor died on December 10, 2005. In the last years of his life, Rich was humbled by the disease that had plagued him all his life, MS. I guarantee you though, that while he may have looked physically weak, his mind was as strong as ever. Unfortunately, Rich didn't get his wish when it came to the manner of his death;
"I'd like to die like my father died... My father died fucking. My father was 57 when he died. The woman was 18. My father came and went at the same time."

R.I.P. Rich

T.U.T.P Scale
Thingness - 0/10
Uniqueness - 10/10
Peorianess - 10/10

Laziness Update/News Around Town

2010-07-07T19:07:00.000-05:00

Ok, we haven't been that lazy here at the PBR. June was a big month, with 10 posts, most of them being reviews. I updated the post on Blue, which now seems kind of futile because I'm going to let you know right now that Blue has been approved for a 2 AM liquor license. According to their Facebook page, they will be open till 2 Thursday through Saturday.

For the supposed twenty percenters reading this, a law that was recently passed might affect you. Apparently, the state of Illinois has made it illegal to have cigarette machines in bars. So, take pictures or do whatever you have to do to record any and all remaining machines because they are now officially a thing of the past. The one at the Last Chance is already gone, and as time goes by, I will remove the "Cigarette Machine" tag from posts. This really isn't that big of a deal but it does affect the amusement companies here in town. These machines used to be everywhere, then they were basically only found in bars and now, they will pretty much cease to exist. This is a sad day for America.

In other, non-smoking related news I wanted to let you, dear reader know about an extremely talented local musician who hosts two (2) open mic nights here in Peoria. His name is Derrick Hart and you can find his music videos here on Youtube. On Tuesday nights, you can find Derrick on the stage at the Red Barn near Sheridan and Glen in north Peoria. Wednesdays, Derrick hosts an open mic downtown at the Whammy Bar. Both places are equipped with drums and a PA. So, if you or anyone you know has been wanting to hop on stage and give it a try these two nights offer a great opportunity to do so. The open mic at the Red Barn runs from 9 to midnight and the one at the Whammy Bar is a marathon session. You can jump on stage and jam with any number of good local musicians starting at 8 and going all the way till 3 in the morning. Now THAT is an open mic! Also, check out Derrick's Facebook page for upcoming events, new music etc.

That's all for now. Cheers to Derrick and cheers to local music!

Peoria Institution: Jan's Tap, the Best Cubs Bar in Peoria

2010-07-02T19:55:00.004-05:00

First of all, let me just say that nights like last night are what makes writing this blog so fun. Many of the places I go to are fun and lively but rarely do I get the opportunity to learn as much about Peoria tavern history as I did last night. The description of this particular tavern will be at the end of this review but first I must provide you with some perspective.

Jan's Tap will turn 22 years old on August 4th. Now, that is not a particularly long time in terms of institution status but let me explain. Jan and her family have been in the bar business in Peoria for a very long time. Jan's parents used to own and operate Tina's Coach Stop. Back then, it was called the Rocky Glen. Jan and her siblings were raised in the house above the bar. Eventually, they sold it and it became the Coach Stop. Jan purchased her bar which has been a tavern for a very long time. So long in fact, that the name of the road on which it is located has changed. Jan's is located at 3404 W. Fremont Street in Limestone Township. This road used to extend across Kickapoo Creek but has long since been cut off. It was named Middle Road, and Jan's was called the Middle Road Tap. Jan told me a great story about how one of her regular's parents used to go to her parents' bar back in the day. Stories like this one is what makes Jan's and places like it so special. Not only did her parents own a bar but her great aunt and uncle did as well. They were the proprietors of Jimmy's on Farmington Road. Back then, it was called Vicary's Loading Dock. Another reason I have added Jan's to the Institution List is because of it's importance to the neighborhood. Jan's offers a more relaxed environment than the usual rowdiness that goes on just down the street at Jimmy Earp's. The neighborhood that surrounds Jan's is an island of tranquility compared to neighborhoods on the other side of Western. Driving around in the South End can be kind of depressing but when you pull up to Jan's, you will see that there are plenty of Peorians who still take pride in their homestead.

Jan is a huge Cubs fan, therefore Jan's Tap is a Cubs bar. It's not just a Cubs bar though. After all these are the old stomping grounds of one Jim Thome, you might have heard of him. The slugger and "Pride of Peoria" grew up right here in this very neighborhood. Jan's pays tribute to Jim by having the wall above the shuffleboard table covered, almost entirely in posters, newspaper clippings and other memorabilia most of which, has Thome's autograph. Jan told me that up until recently she had no Thome memorabilia from his current team the Minnesota Twins. When she told Jim's dad Chuck, he brought her a pennant with Thome's number 25 and the Twins logo. It hasn't been autographed yet but I'm sure the next time Jim gets a break from knocking the ever loving shit out of baseballs all across this country, he'll return to Jan's Tap and sign the pennant. As a side note, all this Thome memorabilia, despite the fact that it has the logos of the teams he has played for, flows perfectly with the Cubs goodies. Why is this? Well, you White Sox fans might not want to hear this but Jim Thome grew up a Cubs fan. It's just a damn shame that the Cubbies couldn't have picked him up but then again, Chicago Cubs history is cluttered with "damn shames" and "could a beens".

When you walk into Jan's the bar is on your left, with the shuffleboard table on the left wall. The back wall is filled with poker machines. The bar is lit by Cubs glass lights and there is a matching one that hangs above the pool table in the back room. One of the most unique things about Jan's is that they have lottery machines. You can play power ball, mega millions, or some cheap scratch offs if you're feeling lucky. In 2009 Jan's Tap paid out $118,284 in lottery winnings. That is a lot of 7-11-21's!

Jan's is also known as a great karaoke bar. On Friday and Saturday nights Jan's is packed with would-be singers doing their best to entertain the crowd. Just pick up the next issue of the Bar Paper and you'll surely see a picture of smiling faces crowded around the bar or singing along to the music.

The beers are cheap and they even have a small menu that consists of Philly cheese steak sandwiches, corn dogs, hot tamales and a few other items that fail me right now. Jan even provides wine, she's got Chardonnay and Merlot, both for two dollars. During every Cubs game, Jan's offers 25 cent hot dogs, if you want them to go it'll cost you a buck. As the sign says "Watch the Game With Us!" This pretty much says it all, Jan is one of the friendliest people I have ever met, even to Cardinal fans. She has been making sure that everyone in her bar has a good time all the time for over twenty years.

So, cheers to Jan, her bar, and Jim Thome, despite the fact that he played for the evil White Sox. Oh yah, one more thing GO CUBBIES!

Daily Specials
M & W - $1.25 drafts
T & TR - $2.25 cans and bottles

Update - Last night I was headed downtown to old Laramie St. to check out the crowd at Dorothy's Dew Drop Inn when I was distracted by something Eitak found via the google machine. Someone had written on Google Maps that Jan's had "permanently closed." Seeing as this is one of my favorite places and a Peoria Institution I had to stop by. I'm happy to inform you that Jan's is as open for business as it has always been and once again Jan was a hospitable host to our party. She has some new memorabilia for the Jim Thome shrine; an autographed copy of the October edition of Sports Illustrated that has the Pride of Peoria on the cover. I'm also going to designate Jan's as the best Cubs bar in Peoria. While the game audio might not always be on, you're guaranteed to hear Steve Goodman's "Go Cubs Go" after a W. Jan's Tap takes the cake for best Cubs bar now that Webb's Pub has closed.

Burger Barge

2010-06-30T15:03:00.017-05:00

The Burger Barge is located at 1401 N. Main in East Peoria. If you go to Jonah's/Par-a-Dice casino, take the access road north. If you see a dilapidated boat on your left hand side you are on the right track. Marty Wombacher from 365 Beers stopped here a while back and you can find his review here.

Unfortunately, my camera died just as I was about to walk into the Barge so I was only able to get a couple of pictures of the outside. This is a damn shame because there are so many cool things to take pictures of inside the bar. There are napkins pinned to every wall that have patrons' depictions of the Burger Barge. The ceiling tiles are adorned with graffiti and jokes from hundreds of customers, not to mention all the boating and drinking paraphernalia that fights for space on every wall.

I love bars like this that are cluttered with stuff, it gives the place a unique atmosphere that is unlike any other. Before you even walk into the Barge you feel like you are on vacation. That is, unless you go there in the winter. Even then, the Barge is a tropical oasis in the wintery desolation that is our Illinois winter. The Burger Barge reminded me immediately of Key West. If Jimmy Buffett lived in Peoria, you would probably find him here every day of the week. Speaking of Jimmy, the old school jukebox is loaded with Buffet albums as well as other summer-ish music like the Beach Boys and Bob Marley. There is also a decent amount of country music on there to give it a midwest feel.

In case you haven't already heard, the Burger Barge has some of the best burgers around. I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't think there is another place in the Peoria are that has better burgers than the ones available at the Barge. These aren't just your typical hamburgers either. There are over a dozen different selections including the Tavern Burger which is topped with barbecue sauce and cole slaw!

There is even a burger that has the famed Luciano Cheese Blobs on it. There's a lot more than just burgers though. The Barge has pork and chicken sandwiches, plenty of appetizers, and an extensive cocktail list. There is also a burger buffet where you can build your own, I would just assume to leave it to the professionals and the staff at the Barge are definitely that. You can check out the full menu here.

Drinks are cheap at the Barge, unlike the tourist trap Key West bars that the place resembles. With the exception of the fancy cocktails (I had the Blue Curacao) you can get pretty well drunk at the Barge for about twenty bucks. Sundays are build your own Bloody Mary bar ($2), which seems to have become a popular thing the last couple of years. The Barge has great daily specials (except for Fridays) that I have listed below.

The bar is small but comfortable with a few TV's to watch the game. The indoor seating area seats about 50 and there are a couple nice new flatscreens to watch the World Cup. You are watching the World Cup AREN'T YOU?

Outside you can sit on concrete or in the sand. There is a patio with a tin roof over it with fish-shaped high top tables and some booths that look like they came from a Dairy Queen. The eclectic decor makes it's way outside too. Closer to the river there is a large sand box with several picnic tables to eat, drink, and smoke at. With all the Buffet and Marley playing, you might be tempted to smoke something other than cigarettes (har har).

Unfortunately the river is way too high to dock at the barge right now, but once it goes down you can dock your boat and walk up the hill to grab a bite to eat and a few drinks. This is one of the coolest parts about the barge. Every day, you get a nice mix of boaters, locals, and out-of-towners staying at the Par-a-Dice hotel just down the road. While peeking around, I noticed that the owner(s?) are constructing a bar outside that seats about 20. I'm not sure when it will be ready but it looks like it will be really nice out there.

This weekend the Burger Barge has lined up three days of entertainment for our Independence Day. Friday night Chicago Farmer will play from 5-9:30. Saturday the great band Rooster Alley will play from 6-10. In case you've never heard of them, check out their website, these guys seriously Rock the Fuck Out. Their lead singer/guitarist wears a guitar strap that has 6 or 7 harmonicas on it! If that doesn't get your Mojo Workin, nothing will. Sunday, Reverend Ed and the Sunday Drive will play from 2-6. I'm not sure what the view of the fireworks would be like from here but it should still be a fun place to hang out for the 4th of July festivities.

So, cheers to the Burger Barge for providing the Peoria area with a little slice of Key West mixed our
patented midwest hospitality!

Daily Specials
M $1.75 cans-o-beer
T $2 wells
W 6 for $5 8oz. Coors cans
T $2 build your own margarita bar
F/S None, it's Friday, if you can't get folks to come to your bar on Friday and Saturday, you're Fucked!
S $2 build your own Bloody Mary bar

Update - I went to the Burger Barge a few days ago and thourougly enjoyed it. I shot some photos and you can check them out below. But first a couple bits of news. The Tiki Bar outside has been completed and seats firfty (50). There's a new menu items as well, it's called the Loosy and it's basically just loose meat sandwiches and loose meat added to omelets, and barges (Burger Barge speak for sandwiches.) That's it for now, cheers and beers!

This is the bacon burger. Fucking. Amazing.

This is the napkin I drew on and hung near the front door. Pretty good huh? Yah I know, I'm awesome in so many ways. The Spirit of Peoria looks like shit though. Hi Marty! Cheers!

Crow's Nest

2010-06-30T13:14:00.006-05:00

The Crow's Nest is located at 633 E. Lake Avenue in what is I believe technically Peoria Heights. This place has been a bar since I was still wandering around the playground at Rogi's and used to be called Ajay's. Located just next door is another tavern, the Stadium Club.

The Crow's Nest is a small and very red bar. The walls are all red and there are several lamps of the same color decorating the bar. Behind the bar is a fancy set of shelves packed with all kinds of booze. Not just your typical John, Jack, and Jose either, Crow's Nest has the extras like the various flavored Three Olives etc. Not my thing but some people like to mix it up with that stuff. They also have four beers on tap; Bud, Bud Light, Miller Lite, and Coors Light. One very unique thing about the Nest is that they have a modern pay phone, just next to the front door. I say it's modern because it has a card swipe thingy on it, I've never seen one anywhere else. There are daily specials at the Nest, Tuesdays are $2 domestic bottles, I didn't write down the rest, I will add an update to this post as soon as I get the chance.

The bar seats about 15 and there are a dozen or so stools opposite the bar with a shelf for your drinks. In between is one of the three pool tables. Now that I think about it, the fact that there are three tables in Crow's Nest might add to the allusion that this place is small. The two tables at either end will cost you 75 cents and the Valley table in the middle costs 50. This is pretty unique. I don't think I've ever been to a place where one table costs more than the other. Speaking of pool, if you want a challenge, the Crow's Nest is the place to go. Not surprisingly, there are a lot of good shooters at the Nest. They have a team that plays in the River City Billiards league and they are damn good. A word of warning though, these tables are FAST! The Nest has some of the fastest tables I have ever played on. So, grab a light cue (16 or 17) and take it easy on that cue ball!

There's only one TV at the Nest but it is a big one that is jammed tightly behind the bar. To the left of the bar are two computer monitors with internet available to browse. The bathrooms are right near the back door and are labelled Pimps and Hoes, which should be pretty easy to figure out. In between the Stadium Club and the Nest is a small smoking area for you twenty percenters out there. The Stadium Club is another place the PBR plans on checking out soon (hopefully) but you'll have to wait for that review.

So, cheers to the straight shooters of the River City and cheers to the Crow's Nest!

Jillian's

2010-06-29T15:44:00.004-05:00

Okay, it's been a while since the PBR has written a negative review. After the controversy over the Douchebag Bars post, our editor in chief decided it would be good to hold off on bashing a place for a while. So, since there has been several positive reviews in the past couple of weeks it is time to even the scales. In case you hadn't already gotten the hint and you happen to be someone who really likes Jillian's you might not want to read this post. And away we go....

Jillian's is located in the former Linen's and Things building at the The Shoppes at Grand Prairie (aka the new mall). I never went in there when it was still Linen's and Things but they must have had a lot of "things" in there because this place is fucking huge. One thing I will say about Jillian's is that it is a great place to take your kids or host a birthday party. There are plenty of games for the kiddies to play and a nice selection of food and drinks for the adults as well as a comfortable bar and dining area complete with plenty of TV's. There is even a bowling alley with 6 or 7 lanes for your pin-knockin-down pleasure. The games run the gamete from classics like skee-ball and the basketball free-throw game to newer video games like Time Crisis (my personal favorite) and some take-your-chance games that you can win tickets off of. Just like Chuck E Cheese there are a bunch of corny prizes to "buy" with your tickets. They even have a guitar for the low low price of 9000 tickets. However, you would probably have to spend about $200 to get that many tickets. Beyond all that, there really isn't anything about Jillian's that's all that great. It is just not a place that I (or any of my friends for that matter) would want to go to to have drinks.

The bar at Jillian's is really nice and has four (4) large flatscreens and a good selection of beers on tap and in bottles. What's the problem with that you ask? Well it might have to do with the fact that everything at Jillian's is outrageously overpriced. I drank four beers there and my tab was almost thirty dollars. Now, that might not be a big deal for some of you but for me, that is quite ridiculous. Usually after spending thirty dollars at a bar I'm pretty well buzzed and probably ready to call it a night. Another thing that pisses me off about Jillian's are the pool tables. They are absolutely gorgeous. They are full size nine foot tables with red felt and copper pockets. I don't think I've ever shot on a table as nice as the ones at Jillian's. There is just one problem; they cost TWELVE FUCKING DOLLARS AN HOUR! Oh, and this price goes up on the weekends and at night. I've been to Jillian's twice now and have yet to see anyone playing on them, what a waste. The food is decent but once again overpriced. Basically, you're eating Chili's style food but paying 2-3 dollars more on any given dish.

This review is not a knock on anyone who works at or frequents Jillian's. If you like the place, good for you, it's just not my thing. Actually, it kind of is my thing, just not at those prices. Hell, they serve beer at Chuck E Cheese and have practically the same amount of games! Not to mention, they are far cheaper. I think this is another example the "new place" syndrome. Where in, a new place opens up and a bunch of people (with more money than me) pack the joint just because it's pretty inside. In my mind, going somewhere and paying more for a beer when there are plenty of places around that are just as nice but cheaper and, in some cases locally owned, is the same thing as buying a Hummer. Really, you really need a fucking Hummer? What are you, preparing for the Apocalypse? Don't worry though, this place will rake in the dough, all of which will go to whatever corporation owns Jillian's, far, far away from Peoria. Sure, we'll make money off the taxes but I just loath chains. I would have much rather seen a local business open up in this location. Although that's probably impossible due to the sheer magnitude of the building.

Oh, and there was an assload of douchebags in Affliction and Ed Hardy gear there as well as plenty of Hummers in the parking lot. So, the PBR will not be giving a cheers to Jillian's, we will save our cheers for places that actually deserve it. In case you have forgotten you can send your hate mail to peoriabarreview@yahoo.com, post it on the Facebook page, or just let it fly in the comments section! The PBR will however give a cheers to staff writer DS who was supposed to write this post months ago when Jillian's first opened and is just now getting around to it. Cheers DS!

Peoria Institution: Garden Gate Tap

2010-06-25T14:46:00.005-05:00

The Garden Gate Tap is located on Garden St. just off of Adams in downtown Peoria. The Garden Gate has the unlucky distinction of having the address 1313 W. Garden St. The GGT, as it is affectionately known (between TheChief and Bobby Bolts that is) is a small and friendly neighborhood tavern. The reason it is called the Garden Gate is because of the gates that protect the windows and door from vandals and would-be robbers. No need to worry though, the GGT is just as safe as any of the other many bars in this area. Why a thief would want to rob a bar I will never know. It seems to me that walking into a room full of drunk people and robbing their favorite watering hole would be the last thing you would want to do. It must have something to do with the fact that bars are open later than most other businesses.

The GGT is definitely a no-frills place. I added the Gate to the PBR's list of Peoria Institutions after a recent trip down there. Back when the majority of Peorians actually lived downtown there was quite a few taverns in this area. As time has gone on though they have closed and most of these buildings remain empty. The Gate, like Roger's is one of the few remaining holdouts. The bar itself is very intimate. It is the classic one- room bar design. The bars seats twenty and there are no tables. The Gate is another place where there is no TV behind the bar, a phenomenon I've touched on before. There are however two TV's at either end of the bar. In the middle of the room is a Valley pool table that really doesn't get much action considering the cramped space. What does get a lot of action though is the Shuffleboard table. I'm a big fan of shuffleboard but I was informed by one of the regulars that I was playing the wrong way. As a matter of fact, my method of playing was so foreign to both the bartender and the locals that on a return trip a different bartender asked BB and I if we were the ones there a few weeks earlier playing "that weird version of shuffle". I said yes and we had a nice discussion on the many different versions people have of shuffleboard. At the Gate, they play some very odd games, the rules of which fail me now but as soon as I learn them I'll be sure to let you know.

The regulars are very welcoming at the gate as are the prices. The last few times I've been to the Gate, there hasn't been any beer on draft, despite the three tappers in the middle of the bar. A bottle of domestic will cost you two(2) bucks and a shot is four (4). Don't expect to find any imports in this place. Well, they might have them but I would expect they don't and asking for one would probably get some laughs from the folks at the bar. The GGT is a classic shot-and-a-beer bar which are always my favorite. As I said the regulars (mostly old timers, I was the youngest person in there by about 30 years) are very friendly. The gentleman (and I use this term loosely) I talked to down there was quick with a joke and advice on shuffleboard. For instance:

Guy: "What did God say to the Cubs?"
Me: "I don't know."
Guy: " Don't do anything until I get back!"
Me: "Haahahahaha" thinking in my mind, I can't wait till 2012 that is our year!

Now, as a Cubs fan I have had to hear a shitload of crappy Cubs jokes but this one got me. Anything that references God and the Apocalypse in joke form is always good stuff. Another great thing about the Gate is their jukebox. They still have an old school flip disc juke box. I would be remiss if I didn't tell you though, that the juke is filled with nothing but country. The artists range from old school suicide country like Hank Williams and George Jones to neo-classic country like George Strait, all the way up to the Jimmy Buffett-esque stuff from Kenny Chesney. I love some classic country but my limit at the Gate would be about 2 hours unless I was really shithoused, then I could stick around longer. Without massive amounts of booze in me I have to have some variety. No worries though, Roger's is right down the street so I could always head up there and get my fix of Little Milton and my favorite pool-shootin, shot-takin, beer-poundin song, Eminence Front.

Back to the joke guy. He taught me so many bar tricks I can't even remember all of them. The one in the picture above I was able to pull off (that's why I took the picture.) As you can see there is only about two swigs missing from that bottle of glorious Bud Light and yet it is perfectly balanced on that salt shaker. How did I do this you ask? Well, the trick to it is you have to have those old school salt shakers with square dimples on them. They used to have them at just about every greasy spoon diner but they're pretty hard to find now. I do know of one place that still has them, the Garden Gate Tap! So, while this is a really cool trick, the only place I know of where I could pull it off would be the Gate. Bummer. I'm gonna keep my eye out though so I can win some money off some schmuck at a bar someday. If anyone reading this knows of a place that has or sells these shakers, shoot me an email at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com or on our Facebook page.

If I didn't live so far from the Gate, I would definitely like to get real drunk in there on a Saturday night and see what kind of craziness goes on. Maybe I could even get into a good old fashioned barroom brawl or something, that would be sweet. For now, I'll just have to settle for the Gate being one of my "few beers after work joint." A man can dream though.

There are so many bars in this area you could take a day and just do "beer a bar" (copyright Bobby Bolts 1998). Although when you get to the Gate, the friendly atmosphere might make you want to stay for more than one, I know it always does for me. Cheers to the Garden Gate Tap and cheers to the holdouts!

Blue

2010-06-23T15:41:00.004-05:00

Blue is a new (ish) bar located at 619 W. Main St., just a few doors down from the Elbo Room. Blue has been open for (I think) about 6-8 months. The building at 619 Main has been a bar for a long time starting with the Gaslight, then the Gaslight II, and, for a short time Top of the Hill Bar and Grill. I never got the chance to go here when it was still the Gaslight but it was, apparently a much different place than it is now. The owners of Blue basically completely gutted, rearranged, and refurbished the entire bar, giving a much different atmosphere than the Gaslight had.

Unfortunately, the Journal Star's completely useless website turned up no hits when I searched it for the Gaslight. So, you're just going to have to take my word on the following story. The Gaslight was apparently run by a group of coke dealers/heads who were eventually brought down by the FBI and sentenced to a federal pound me in the ass prison. Whomever took over after that turned it into the Top of the Hill Bar and Grill for a short time before closing up shop. So, you can't get with the white lady at 619 W. Main anymore but you can get drinks, food and a good time.

Blue is the most unique bar in Peoria. It is definitely not your typical downtown dive. Blue caters to a more high class set than most (okay, all) of the bars in the area. The atmosphere is very artsy as is the clientele. The bar seats about twenty and is topped with an intricate mosaic of blue, white, and green tiles. One could easily spend an hour tracing the various loops and turns of the tiles. There are extremely comfortable high backed stools at the bar with their chair counterparts at the tables near the front (Main St.) entrance. In the middle of the bar is a nice new Valley pool table with new cues for your shooting pleasure. Just inside the back entrance is an old school, flip disc jukebox. The jukebox has a great selection of music ranging from indie to punk and most importantly LOCAL ARTISTS! There is even a disc in there that just has a question mark on it, in case you're in the mood for some mystery. Other unique aspects of Blue include and old school dart board, board games, retro glasses (I got Elmer Fudd) and on some nights, Nintendo on the flatscreen. Nothing beats getting drunk and playing Super Mario Bros. Blue is primarily a hipster bar, but (I think) the owner is a Cubs fan, so you don't have to worry about missing the game.

The prices at Blue are reasonable especially if you heed the nightly specials. You can check them out on Facebook, where they do a good job of letting everyone know what the specials are everyday. Blue also serves food, you can eat there or order take out. Their menu consists of mostly soups, salads, and sandwiches. They also have free wi-fi which makes it a great place for lunch if you work downtown. The menu has all kinds of fancy stuff on it that my girlfriend tried to explain to me but I still failed to understand. Despite the fanciness, the food is reasonably priced. Not sure what the kitchen hours are but they have menus available for you to add to your collection.

So, if your sick of the same old shot-and-a-beer bars here in town, head down to Blue and enjoy the unique atmosphere. I'm pretty sure they are the only bar in about ten square miles that serves wine. Blue is a great place to take your girlfriend to. She'll be happy about the wine and the atmosphere and you can still catch the game and play some pool. Blue has a little bit of everything.

A big cheers goes to Blue for providing downtown Peoria with a little class and another big cheers for supporting local artists!

Editor's Note: I stole the picture of the bar from Blue's Facebook page.

Update: Blue was recently approved for a 2 AM liquor license. According to their Facebook page, they will be open till 2 on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.

Peoria Institution: The Hillside

2010-06-23T02:48:00.009-05:00

The Hillside is located at 1745 North Sheridan Road near Gale Ave. The Hillside may be the most aptly named bar in Peoria as the building is situated at the bottom of two hills (Sheridan and Gale). Driving by as a kid, it always reminded of a hobbit hole for some reason. The building is small and old, the only thing that really sticks out in my mind is the small breezeway that serves as the front (and only) entrance to the bar. One thing that is truly unique about this bar is the parking lot, which is on the south side of the building. If you own a truck, it would be no big deal to pull straight out onto Sheridan. If you own a car however, trying this will surely end up with a badly scraped bumper. So if you happen to find yourself leaving the Hillside after a few cocktails remember; BACK OUT!

A little bit of history for you. PBR staffer DS told me that the Hillside used to be called JT's and was apparently a great place to get the white stuff. Why it wasn't always called the Hillside I will never know. Anyway, I remember always seeing cars parked right on Sheridan in front of and up the hill from this bar. A friend of a friend told me that one time, a drunk driver (not me, I swear!) was flying down the hill and hit the car farthest up the hill. This, apparently started what was surely a hilarious cartoonish accordion-style smashing of numerous vehicles. The person who told me this story did not find humor in it, as his car was involved and did not fare well in the collision. He says that ever since then, very few people park on the hill. Indeed that is the case, most days I drive by the Hillside, sometimes there might be one car, parked directly in front of the bar but that's about it.

There are two things that are extremely unique about the Hillside. First, is the bar which is (Cardinal) red and has raised dots on it that remind me of Lego blocks. Second, is the fact that the Hillside has two (2) addresses. The correct address is listed above but, if you look just to the right of the door, the original address is 803, which can be found inside the breezeway upon entering the bar.

One of the things I like most about the Hillside is that, it's kind of in a no man's land. Just up the street, north of McClure, are Whitey's Tip Top and the Sports Page (now under a different name.) If you drive south you'll find yourself on Main St. right next to the Elbo Room and Blue. The valley in between these two bar clusters, holds the Hillside. This bar is heavy on charm. The Hillside is the kind of place where on most nights, the bartender is drinking a beer right along with you. Most of the time this works without a problem but on one of my first visits there, the guy made a mistake. I ordered a vodka tonic and was handed what turned out to be a tequila tonic. I'm not a big fan of tequila to begin with but having to drink it with no warning was especially jarring. I told the bartender about the mix up and he gave me a free vodka tonic, all the while insisting that the drink he had made me was "not that bad". Yah, that's right, he actually drank it. I can't remember what he named it but I do know he was a pretty funny guy. This is also a place (like Roger's) where it's pretty easy to coax the bartender into a game of pool. Most of the time though, you would be better off just putting your money on the table as the beer slingers at both of these places are pretty damn good.

Speaking of pool, the Hillside has got you covered if you're into billiards. They have two tables, one of which is usually vacant as it sits in a weird little side room away from the bar. The other one, which is pictured above is straight back at the end of the bar. If you are a pool cue snob, you might want to bring your own. The cues at the Hillside are well loved. I usually play my best games with a bent cue on a shitty bar table though, so it doesn't bother me. Behind the main table is the stained glass beer serving lady, which looks like it's supposed to be German and helps to give the bar some of it's character. There are two small flatscreens at either end of the bar with none in between. It seems to be like there are a lot of bars in Peoria like this. Maybe it is because they have been bars before there was TV, I'm not quite sure. The jukebox is a digital one (boo!), so you can play T-Pain right before Hank Williams. That's what I usually do just to keep everyone happy. You are probably going to need a diverse taste in music for a night at the Hillside. Most nights, the jukebox jumps from country to rap and everything in between.

This is especially true on karaoke night, which is one of the most fun I've ever been to. Whatever you do, don't try to sing "Love Train" because there is this dude there that sings it perfectly and does the dance too. For your game playing pleasure there is also a pin ball machine and Golden Tee to hold your interest.

Just before writing this post, I decided it would be a good idea to go down to the Hillside once again to get a feel for the place. It was my plan to take down the daily/weekly specials to let you, dear reader, know about them. I failed miserably. All I know is that on most nights a pitcher of beer will cost you 5 bucks. Shots are around $3 a piece and there is an extremely spartan, yet workable amount of booze behind the bar. My return to the Hillside though, turned out to be a magical one, as one of the regulars provided the bar with a ridiculous amount of Avanti's bread. I walked out with 6 loaves and there were many more to be had beyond that.

The Hillside is definitely a Cardinals bar. The bartender's name is Steve Cardinal, which pretty much designates him as a Cardinal fan for life. Much like most Cardinal fans that I know, he is a fan of all things baseball which means that if the Cards aren't playing the Cubs will be on the TV. Steve is also a big fan of Yogi Berra and his timeless quotes. One final note, if you decide to go to the Hillside and the door is locked, just give it a knock and whomever is bartending will answer. Just because it is late doesn't mean they are closed, it just means they're careful!

Cheers to the Hillside and cheers to Cardinal fans, even though they are misguided, lost souls who secretly wish they could root for a team that has enough resilience to play for a championship 102 years in the making!

Laziness Update

2010-06-17T09:23:00.002-05:00

Apologies to all those out there who have been anxiously awaiting a new review from the PBR. Unfortunately, that's not what you are going to get right now. First off, some much overdue site news. I have added a search bar at the top of the page. It seems to work pretty well but I'm still working out the kinks with the tag lines. Secondly, in case you haven't noticed I've also added a poll in the top right hand corner. From time to time, I'll add a ridiculous or serious poll question for my loyal readers to answer. In other right side of the page news I have added a list of blogs and websites that are personal favorites of mine and should be for you too. One of those sites is a tremendously entertaining humor blog called Steel Clink Alcatraz. Our editor in chief recently corresponded with the blog's proprietor, Danger Guerrero who also fills in from time to time at Warming Glow. You can find the results of that in exchange in DG's Mailbag. On another note, I am still waiting for the obligitory link-back from Peoria Nightlife Examiner and Peoria Night Out. If you're wondering what I'm talking about you can find the answer in this post. Finally, I have updated the reviews for Amy's Anchor Club, the Last Chance, Averyville by Chance, and Jimmy Earp's Hideaway. Cheers!

Editor's Note: I have changed my email. If you need to reach a PBR staff member please email TheChief at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com.

Peoria Institution: Tina's Coach Stop

2010-06-05T14:15:00.005-05:00

Tina's Coach Stop is located at 3522 West Lincoln Ave. in Peoria. I think technically this part of Peoria is known as Bellevue but could also be considered South Peoria as Tina's sits atop the bluff just a short drive from the southside. I'll tag Tina's as being part of both both.

Tina's is a bar with a lot of history. The building was constructed in 1840 and was originally an inn. The bar is below ground in what used to be the horse stables. The 1st and 2nd floors are vacant and Tina informed me that they are filled with her stepfather's antique collections. Rumor has it that Abraham Lincoln stopped here back in the day, but Tina could not confirm or deny this legend. One of the first things I thought upon entering the bar was "how in the hell did they get this pool table in here?" It must have been a feat of engineering as neither of the doors are at all big enough to squeeze it through. There are only two (2) explanations as to how the table got there. Either the building was built around the table (not likely but would be awesome), or the table was brought in piece by piece and put together inside the bar.

Tina's is cramped with only about 15 stools around the rectangular bar. Drafts are available through one of those old "keg in the wall" tappers. I had a Bud Light ($2.25 on Thursdays, $1.25 on Fridays) and the bartender brought me a can. I'm pretty sure Tina's doesn't have bottles. As I pounded down numerous beers, the bartender Randy kept up by ripping the tabs off and crushing each can in some kind of awesome can crusher I've never seen before. Randy did a good job at first but as more and more people poured in the cans started to add up on the bar. No worries though, Tina hopped to it and started crushing away. Everyone was really nice and Tina made sure that I learned as much about the place as she could tell me. Tina's was featured in a book by local historian and Journal Star columnist Jerry Kline (I think it is called "Played in Peoria"). The picture was taken sometime in the 50's and the only difference was the lack of the front breezeway which is a recent edition. Seeing as how Tina's is well over a hundred years old, the definition of "recent" is a little different than most places. I'd say the breezeway is approaching it's twentieth birthday.

Not surprisingly, there is a supernatural element to Tina's. Both Tina and Randy, as well as several regulars attested to seeing figures and witnessing odd events. Apparently, one night the pool table was empty, no balls and no chalk. Randy and one of the regulars were the only folks in the bar when they heard what they thought was something falling over in the back room. Both went back to check it out and found nothing out of place. When they returned to the bar, they found several balls and a cube of chalk on the pool table. Spooooooky. I'm not sure if I believe this tale but it still makes for good storytelling and with a place as old as Tina's I wouldn't doubt that ghosts could be hanging around.

I'm going to go ahead and add Tina's to the list of Peoria Institutions. It is a shame that I didn't put it on there to begin with but I honestly didn't know about it until recently. Well, I had heard of it before and seen pictures in the Bar Paper but I had no idea the historical significance of the building. If Tina had enough money to renovate the building with the proper materials it would be very easy for her to have it added to an historical landmark list. I guess I just didn't picture it in my mind as it exists in person. This is not just another South Peoria dive bar. Tina's, like Mike's has an historic element that makes it very special and when you walk in the bar you can feel it immediately. Everyone in Peoria should go check this place out. You might get a couple looks at first but it doesn't take much time at all for the regulars to warm up to you. Not to mention that Tina is as gracious a host as any barfly could hope for. I'm definitely going to make Tina's one of my regular stops and you, dear reader should as well. So, cheers to history and cheers to the Coach Stop!