This review is for the Kouri's in Peoria located at 4421 N. Sterling Ave. in the building that used to be Mulligan's. I have not been to any of the other Kouri's. I believe they have locations in Pekin and Germantown Hills. Kouri's used to be just down the street where there is now a Sonic restaurant. First of all, let me say that the owners of Kouri's did a great job of renovating old Mulligan's. They did away with the old patio (which was only useful about 4 months out of the year) and constructed a new one complete with heaters, a fire pit, bar, and numerous TV's. This new patio is great because even in the winter, one can sit outside in relative comfort and smoke. In the warmer months, Kouri's patio is one of the best places in town to enjoy some adult beverages and nice weather.
Kouri's has (cue overused bar review term) a laid back atmosphere and generally speaking, a friendly staff. The food is good but nothing spectacular. Kouri's does have, in my opinion, the best honey mustard in town. Both the food and especially the drinks are overpriced but trust me, the clientele of Kouri's can afford it.
Unfortunately, this is part of the problem with Kouri's. They enjoy having a large group of regulars that, for the past twenty or so years have been continually pumping money into the joint. Now, I understand the need to keep your regulars happy but you have to cater to the newer (and usually less well dressed) patrons. This is something that I don't think the owners and some bartenders of Kouri's have taken to heart. And not to be cruel but someday, Kouris' regulars will...... well they'll be fucking dead. This is why it is important to be courteous to
everyone that comes into your bar, not just the people you know. You may be saying to yourself, "what is it that Kouri's did that was so bad, Peoria Bar Review?" If you are asking this question then I'm guessing that you fall into a certain category of people that fit right in up at Kouri's and that's fine. I just don't think that I should have to be over the age of 35, have a good job, and dress like I just got off the golf course to get a drink in a decent amount of time. And no, saying "Whose leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?" does not help.
The PBR
rarely bitches about service at a bar, or a particular bar in general. That is because it does not take much to keep a group of
level 7 drunks (those employed @ the PBR) happy. As long as the beer is relatively cold (cheapness helps) and served in a decent amount of time, most of us are happier than a puppy with two peters (Copyright "The MurphMan", 2008). There are occasions where bitching about a place whose sole purpose is to
serve you is not only a right but an obligation to better serve the community. This is one of those times. Each of the following scenarios are personal experiences that have happened to TheChief. Both of them have been confirmed to have occurred to several members of the Peoria Bar Review staff as well.
Scenario 1 - Can I Get a Fucking Beer Around Here Or What?
There is a bartender at Kouri's who usually works inside and, at least to me, has always been a total dick. I'm not going to describe him because I don't want any loyal PBR readers to harass him but I will say that he's been working there for a long time, even at old Kouri's. Most of us know general barroom etiquette and most bartenders know it as well. Either this gentleman doesn't or he just does not give one simple fuck about anyone but the regulars. Several times, I have walked into Kouri's, pulled out my wallet, removed a greenback, and elbowed up to the bar. Of the 6 or 7 times this has happened, I can only think of one where the place was actually busy. Now, usually pulling out cash at a bar is a sure sign that you would like a drink. Apparently, this bartender has never heard of such a thing. I am not a patient person but this has happened so many times, that I actually find it kind of entertaining and will usually wait as long as I can before asking for a drink. Is he doing this just to spite me? Is he saying "I'm not serving you till you ask me to"? If so, this makes no sense. Most folks who tend bar get you your drink ASAP, just so they don't have to look at your ugly "can I get a beer please" face anymore. This man has never done that. Each time I have gone to the inside bar at Kouri's I always do the same thing. Pull out my money and wait. Maybe once, he actually came up to me and asked what I wanted. All the other times, I have had to wait till he made eye contact, in order to ask him; "Excuse me, your highness but I was wondering if I could trouble you for a moment. I would like a Budweiser Light bottle. If you would be so kind as to procure this for me, I would be ever so grateful and would gladly tip you a generous amount. Pip Pip." Then, and only then, will I finally get my beer. As if this weren't bad enough, there's another bartender outside, who does the exact same thing. Fuck.
Scenario 2 - DirectTV Is Awesome, Unless You Don't Know How To Use It
This past winter I stopped by Kouri's on a Sunday night to catch the end of a Blackhawks game. I fully realize that most people don't appreciate hockey like I do but on a Sunday night in the dead of winter (read. after football season) I figured Kouri's would be the place to go. Why did I assume this? Well for one, they have a ton of TV's and a ton of sports channels on that amazing thing called DirectTV. Little did I realize the fundamental flaw in this plan.
No one at Kouri's has the slightest fucking idea how to find anything on DirectTV. We all know that the ladies aren't particularly talented when it comes to the old remote control but it seems when it comes to DirectTV and finding a sporting event, they are hopelessly unequipped (looking forward to hate emails from N.O.W.). It wasn't really the waitress' fault though. I tried looking for the game as well (Menu, Sports, Hockey....what the fuck?) and could not find it. What made this situation all the more maddening though was the fact that the game was on a TV at the bar inside. Intrigued by the inability of two, seemingly intelligent humans, to find a hockey game on a fucking TV, I joined the waitress inside. We asked the bartender (same guy as scenario 1, go figure!) to check what channel the TV was on, that was playing the game. Let me break down this conversation for you.
Waitress: "Hey can you check and see what channel this TV is on, he wants to watch the Blackhawks game and I can't find it outside."
Bartender: "No"
Me: "Well that went well"
Waitress: "Yah he's kind of a dick"
Eventually, we found the game and I watched the Hawks win. "So what's the big deal?" you say. Well, I'll tell you. I know its hard to navigate a computer or TV program you are not familiar with but there are certain things that everyone who works in a bar like Kouri's should know. People who go to Kouri's aren't going to ask you to turn it on Lifetime. They are going to watch sports. Moreover, they are probably going to watch
local sports. So, all you need to know are the channels that are broadcasting the local teams on a given night. This is pretty easy to do, seeing as how the Journal Star publishes this list every day and the bar is equipped with a list of all channels on their box. More importanly, if this dickhead bartender would have just pointed the remote at the TV, clicked the channel down button, then taken that number and added a 1 (one), then I would have been able to watch the entire third period instead of the last 3 minutes and 46 seconds. Thanks alot dick. Rant over.
Kouri's is a good bar but not a great one. I don't see any reason why I should pay more money for a beer there than anywhere else in the area. I guess the people who go there feel better about themselves because they can afford to pay $7 (seven) for a pitcher of beer as opposed to the normal $5 one would pay just about anywhere else. To me, Kouri's is a place to stop by for a few drinks. I would never set up shop there for a marathon boozing session, it's just too expensive. The atmosphere is great, especially on nice days. Kouri's does have the best patio in town and this, I believe is what makes the place so popular. I'll give a half cheers to Kouri's. However, if scenarios one and two continue to play themselves out, I'll have no choice but to put Kouri's on my shitlist.b
Updare: Kouri's is officially on the shitlist. Go
here to see why.
