Ask The Chief Episode One

Unless this guy is an expert at kneeling and holding a clipboard, I really don't know what his expertise would be. Looking like a douche maybe?

Here at the PBR, I rarely get emails from people that have questions or comments but recently a gent named Ryan Norgart a.k.a. PeoriaKid sent me an email with some questions about some of the South Peoria dives I've reviewed here. Here's what Ryan had to say...

I just discovered your blog. I love it. I moved to South Carolina a few years back, but I grew up Peoria. I went to Woodruff and then Bradley and have always loved Peoria's drinking/ bar/ distilling/ hookering/ brewing/ and generally shady history. During and shortly after college I started exploring Peoria's diverse bar scene. I grew up about 2 blocks from the Red Barn and it has always been my "home" bar. I can still walk in the door today (after having left town some time ago) and know everyone at the bar.


Anyway, back to my point. Back in about 1997 or 98, a couple of friends and I started doing our own exploratory bar tours. We would basically drink our way around town trying to hit as many bars as we could that we had never been to before. However, there were a few places that I was always curious about but was a little nervous about checking out due to the part of town they are in combined with the fact that I am white. A few that come to mind are Dome, Earp's hideaway, Jan's, Roger's, and Garden Gate. After reading your reviews I want to check them out more then ever. Especially Dome tap. Like I said, I love Peoria's brewing history and I sort of collect old Gipp's stuff. I never knew Dome had the Gipp's tile entryway.


So, do you think a regular guy (Im not a douche, definitely not a hipster, not from Chicago, etc) would ever have any problems at these type of places? I have been to plenty of dive joints around Peoria, in some shady areas, but to me, places like the Dome sorta take things to another level of ghettoness. (due to the neighborhood) Im not stupid and have decent street smarts, know when to keep my mouth shut, etc. So, have you ever felt uneasy in any of these places?

Well, you asked for it and here ya go Ryan, I hope this helps!

Dome Tap - The Dome is a great place for an afternoon beer and with all the pay-out poker machines they have you might end up getting one for free. I've been to the Dome on Friday and Saturday nights pretty late and I was DEFINITELY the only white person in there other than the girlfriend of some black dude. I've never had any problems with anybody other than one time some guy kept trying to get me to buy him a drink because the bartender had cut him off. My girlfriend was even with me at the time and no one fucked with her. That being said, it's probably safer to get outta there before 10 or so. While I've had a good experience there I could totally see some guy wondering what the fuck a 27 year-old white dude is doing in there that late and wanting me out of there. Maybe I've been lucky and maybe people can tell that I'm no threat to anyone and not worth beating up, (like I said white, 5'7" 150 = you've proved nothing by whooping my ass.)


Earp's - Basically like most bars in this area, Earps is a white trash hangout and honestly, I've felt more uncomfortable in these types of places than I ever have at "black" bars like Dome Tap and LA's. This place is alright, definitely a neighborhood joint and you'll get some looks on the weekend when ALL the regulars are there. If you're gonna get fucked with in this bar, it'll probably be over a pool game.

Jan's - Don't be fooled by the location, Jan's is absolutely harmless. Any bar where a 60 something year-old lady who isn't even 5 feet tall tends bar on a Saturday night is somewhere you don't have to worry about. Jan's is a neighborhood place for sure but this is the bar where the laid back folks from the 'hood go, while Earp's is generally reserved for the rowdy croud. Last Saturday night when I was in there (from 9 - 10) and Jan's grandkids were playing pool in the back room, nothing to worry about here.

Roger's - I've hung out at Roger's Place quite a bit and I've never had any problems. The key to avoiding trouble here is to get in good with the bartender (Booter) because there are definitely some crazy fuckers that go in here. Like neck tattoo, coked out, crazy eyed people. But Booter keeps everything under control, he doesn't put up with any shit and there are several "normal" (and I use that word VERY liberally) regulars that..well, regulate on any trouble makers. Also, this bar always seems to be busiest in the after work hours (4 - 7) after that, it's pretty dead. Even on the weekends, it's rare that Roger's is open much past 11.

Garden Gate - Another South Peoria classic that's patronized by (mostly) older white guys. A bunch of country on the juke box and old timers sippin' their beers. The Gate is really a day-time bar, they close early at night because they're afraid of getting robbed. If you're gonna get fucked with in here it'll be because you told some guy that his racist joke wasn't funny..and that he's a racist and you're not. You're better off to just fake-laugh awkwardly and change the subject.

Well Ryan, I hope this post answered all your questions. I certainly did my best and if any of you out there on the internets have questions shoot me an email, message me on facebook, or send me some snail mail to 1060 W. Addison St. Chicago, Il.

That's all for now people, if you want to hang out, you can find me at Dorothy's this Friday or Saturday night between the hours of 8 and 11. Cheers!

Locks

We've covered a lot of dive bars here at the PBR. Almost without fail, every bathroom in these taverns has hook locks. In some cases, the door has been there long enough to have survived several generations of locks.

I did my best to take note of which lock goes with which bar, but there are some that have fallen through the cracks (pun or no pun, your choice). Some of the pictures included in this post I am absolutely sure I have matched the right bar with the right lock. Others, are up to debate and still others, I just have no idea where they came from. 

If you see an error or want to make a correction, give us a shout-out. You should also know the pictures of the women's bathroom locks were taken by an actual woman, pervs.

I'm almost positive this is the lock on the men's bathroom of Dome Tap (now C-Roc's or something else).

I honestly have no clue about this one.

Men's lock at the Hillside

Men's lock at Jan's Tap

Women's lock at the Hillside

Men's lock at Roger's Place

Women's lock at Red Barn

I'm not sure about this one either. If I had to guess I'd say it's the women's lock at Roger's Place.

Peoria Institution: Garden Gate Tap

The Garden Gate Tap is located on Garden St. just off of Adams in downtown Peoria. The Garden Gate has the unlucky distinction of having the address 1313 W. Garden St. The GGT, as it is affectionately known (between TheChief and Bobby Bolts that is) is a small and friendly neighborhood tavern. The reason it is called the Garden Gate is because of the gates that protect the windows and door from vandals and would-be robbers. No need to worry though, the GGT is just as safe as any of the other many bars in this area. Why a thief would want to rob a bar I will never know. It seems to me that walking into a room full of drunk people and robbing their favorite watering hole would be the last thing you would want to do. It must have something to do with the fact that bars are open later than most other businesses.

The GGT is definitely a no-frills place. I added the Gate to the PBR's list of Peoria Institutions after a recent trip down there. Back when the majority of Peorians actually lived downtown there was quite a few taverns in this area. As time has gone on though they have closed and most of these buildings remain empty. The Gate, like Roger's is one of the few remaining holdouts. The bar itself is very intimate. It is the classic one- room bar design. The bars seats twenty and there are no tables. The Gate is another place where there is no TV behind the bar, a phenomenon I've touched on before. There are however two TV's at either end of the bar. In the middle of the room is a Valley pool table that really doesn't get much action considering the cramped space. What does get a lot of action though is the Shuffleboard table. I'm a big fan of shuffleboard but I was informed by one of the regulars that I was playing the wrong way. As a matter of fact, my method of playing was so foreign to both the bartender and the locals that on a return trip a different bartender asked BB and I if we were the ones there a few weeks earlier playing "that weird version of shuffle". I said yes and we had a nice discussion on the many different versions people have of shuffleboard. At the Gate, they play some very odd games, the rules of which fail me now but as soon as I learn them I'll be sure to let you know.

The regulars are very welcoming at the gate as are the prices. The last few times I've been to the Gate, there hasn't been any beer on draft, despite the three tappers in the middle of the bar. A bottle of domestic will cost you two(2) bucks and a shot is four (4). Don't expect to find any imports in this place. Well, they might have them but I would expect they don't and asking for one would probably get some laughs from the folks at the bar. The GGT is a classic shot-and-a-beer bar which are always my favorite. As I said the regulars (mostly old timers, I was the youngest person in there by about 30 years) are very friendly. The gentleman (and I use this term loosely) I talked to down there was quick with a joke and advice on shuffleboard. For instance:

Guy: "What did God say to the Cubs?"
Me:  "I don't know."
Guy: " Don't do anything until I get back!"
Me: "Haahahahaha" thinking in my mind, I can't wait till 2012 that is our year!

Now, as a Cubs fan I have had to hear a shitload of crappy Cubs jokes but this one got me. Anything that references God and the Apocalypse in joke form is always good stuff. Another great thing about the Gate is their jukebox. They still have an old school flip disc juke box. I would be remiss if I didn't tell you though, that the juke is filled with nothing but country. The artists range from old school suicide country like Hank Williams and George Jones to neo-classic country like George Strait, all the way up to the Jimmy Buffett-esque stuff from Kenny Chesney. I love some classic country but my limit at the Gate would be about 2 hours unless I was really shithoused, then I could stick around longer. Without massive amounts of booze in me I have to have some variety. No worries though, Roger's is right down the street so I could always head up there and get my fix of Little Milton and my favorite pool-shootin, shot-takin, beer-poundin song, Eminence Front.

Back to the joke guy. He taught me so many bar tricks I can't even remember all of them. The one in the picture above I was able to pull off (that's why I took the picture.) As you can see there is only about two swigs missing from that bottle of glorious Bud Light and yet it is perfectly balanced on that salt shaker. How did I do this you ask? Well, the trick to it is you have to have those old school salt shakers with square dimples on them. They used to have them at just about every greasy spoon diner but they're pretty hard to find now. I do know of one place that still has them, the Garden Gate Tap! So, while this is a really cool trick, the only place I know of where I could pull it off would be the Gate. Bummer. I'm gonna keep my eye out though so I can win some money off some schmuck at a bar someday. If anyone reading this knows of a place that has or sells these shakers, shoot me an email at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com or on our Facebook page.

If I didn't live so far from the Gate, I would definitely like to get real drunk in there on a Saturday night and see what kind of craziness goes on. Maybe I could even get into a good old fashioned barroom brawl or something, that would be sweet. For now, I'll just have to settle for the Gate being one of my "few beers after work joint." A man can dream though.

There are so many bars in this area you could take a day and just do "beer a bar" (copyright Bobby Bolts 1998). Although when you get to the Gate, the friendly atmosphere might make you want to stay for more than one, I know it always does for me. Cheers to the Garden Gate Tap and cheers to the holdouts!

Peoria Institution: The Hillside

The Hillside is located at 1745 North Sheridan Road near Gale Ave. The Hillside may be the most aptly named bar in Peoria as the building is situated at the bottom of two hills (Sheridan and Gale). Driving by as a kid, it always reminded of a hobbit hole for some reason. The building is small and old, the only thing that really sticks out in my mind is the small breezeway that serves as the front (and only) entrance to the bar. One thing that is truly unique about this bar is the parking lot, which is on the south side of the building. If you own a truck, it would be no big deal to pull straight out onto Sheridan. If you own a car however, trying this will surely end up with a badly scraped bumper. So if you happen to find yourself leaving the Hillside after a few cocktails remember; BACK OUT!

A little bit of history for you. PBR staffer DS told me that the Hillside used to be called JT's and was apparently a great place to get the white stuff. Why it wasn't always called the Hillside I will never know. Anyway, I remember always seeing cars parked right on Sheridan in front of and up the hill from this bar. A friend of a friend told me that one time, a drunk driver (not me, I swear!) was flying down the hill and hit the car farthest up the hill. This, apparently started what was surely a hilarious cartoonish accordion-style smashing of numerous vehicles. The person who told me this story did not find humor in it, as his car was involved and did not fare well in the collision. He says that ever since then, very few people park on the hill. Indeed that is the case, most days I drive by the Hillside, sometimes there might be one car, parked directly in front of the bar but that's about it.

There are two things that are extremely unique about the Hillside. First, is the bar which is (Cardinal) red and has raised dots on it that remind me of Lego blocks. Second, is the fact that the Hillside has two (2) addresses. The correct address is listed above but, if you look just to the right of the door, the original address is 803, which can be found inside the breezeway upon entering the bar.

One of the things I like most about the Hillside is that, it's kind of in a no man's land. Just up the street, north of McClure, are Whitey's Tip Top and the Sports Page (now under a different name.) If you drive south you'll find yourself on Main St. right next to the Elbo Room and Blue. The valley in between these two bar clusters, holds the Hillside. This bar is heavy on charm. The Hillside is the kind of place where on most nights, the bartender is drinking a beer right along with you. Most of the time this works without a problem but on one of my first visits there, the guy made a mistake. I ordered a vodka tonic and was handed what turned out to be a tequila tonic. I'm not a big fan of tequila to begin with but having to drink it with no warning was especially jarring. I told the bartender about the mix up and he gave me a free vodka tonic, all the while insisting that the drink he had made me was "not that bad". Yah, that's right, he actually drank it. I can't remember what he named it but I do know he was a pretty funny guy. This is also a place (like Roger's) where it's pretty easy to coax the bartender into a game of pool. Most of the time though, you would be better off just putting your money on the table as the beer slingers at both of these places are pretty damn good.

Speaking of pool, the Hillside has got you covered if you're into billiards. They have two tables, one of which is usually vacant as it sits in a weird little side room away from the bar. The other one, which is pictured above is straight back at the end of the bar. If you are a pool cue snob, you might want to bring your own. The cues at the Hillside are well loved. I usually play my best games with a bent cue on a shitty bar table though, so it doesn't bother me. Behind the main table is the stained glass beer serving lady, which looks like it's supposed to be German and helps to give the bar some of it's character. There are two small flatscreens at either end of the bar with none in between. It seems to be like there are a lot of bars in Peoria like this. Maybe it is because they have been bars before there was TV, I'm not quite sure. The jukebox is a digital one (boo!), so you can play T-Pain right before Hank Williams. That's what I usually do just to keep everyone happy. You are probably going to need a diverse taste in music for a night at the Hillside. Most nights, the jukebox jumps from country to rap and everything in between.

This is especially true on karaoke night, which is one of the most fun I've ever been to. Whatever you do, don't try to sing "Love Train" because there is this dude there that sings it perfectly and does the dance too. For your game playing pleasure there is also a pin ball machine and Golden Tee to hold your interest.

Just before writing this post, I decided it would be a good idea to go down to the Hillside once again to get a feel for the place. It was my plan to take down the daily/weekly specials to let you, dear reader, know about them. I failed miserably. All I know is that on most nights a pitcher of beer will cost you 5 bucks. Shots are around $3 a piece and there is an extremely spartan, yet workable amount of booze behind the bar. My return to the Hillside though, turned out to be a magical one, as one of the regulars provided the bar with a ridiculous amount of Avanti's bread. I walked out with 6 loaves and there were many more to be had beyond that.

The Hillside is definitely a Cardinals bar. The bartender's name is Steve Cardinal, which pretty much designates him as a Cardinal fan for life. Much like most Cardinal fans that I know, he is a fan of all things baseball which means that if the Cards aren't playing the Cubs will be on the TV. Steve is also a big fan of Yogi Berra and his timeless quotes. One final note, if you decide to go to the Hillside and the door is locked, just give it a knock and whomever is bartending will answer. Just because it is late doesn't mean they are closed, it just means they're careful!

Cheers to the Hillside and cheers to Cardinal fans, even though they are misguided, lost souls who secretly wish they could root for a team that has enough resilience to play for a championship 102 years in the making!

Roger's Place

Roger's Place is a great little hole in the wall located at 1923 SW Adams St. just south of downtown Peoria. I went there last night after work to have a few before the Bears game. Roger's is a one room bar with 30 stools, no tables and a smaller than usual pool table. The table looks really old and I can't think of another place where I have seen one the same size. One side of the table is only about four feet from the wall but the bar provides shooters with a short stick in case you have to shoot from that side.

I walked into Roger's about 7:00 and there were only three people inside, including the bartender who is called Booter. I think it is a safe bet that this is a nickname, I can't really picture anyone actually naming their child Booter but I guess anything is possible. Roger's has two beers on draft: PBR and Bud Light. The PBR goes for $0.75 and the Bud Light will cost you $1.00. I thought I would splurge so I ordered a Bud Light. To the suppossed 20% of you reading this, Roger's Place is Altoid tin friendly, if you don't know what this means, I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself. You can also buy six packs of Blatz for $5.00 (awesome!), and 40 ounces of King Cobra or Steel Reserve.

After about 40 minutes the place started to fill up with regulars. The first ones to arrive were two Mexicans, one spoke fluent English, the other did not. Javier told me that he had just come from a DUI class, where he translated for his friend, which I found hilarious. He said it was fun and he heard some good stories. So, basically after attending a court ordered Dry Roads class, Javier's buddy needed a drink and Roger's Place was the watering hole of choice. Anyone who has ever had to go through one of these guilt trip sessions probably has felt the same way. They are like AA meetings without the actual intention of not drinking AND they are required AND you have to pay for them.

I took a picture of the bathroom sink because I don't think I've ever seen one like it. I swear to god the bathroom was two feet by two feet. It had a NO SOLICITING sign on the door, which I assume is some joke about prostitution.

One last thing about Roger's Place, if you are a pool player the following house rules apply if you want to hold the table. First, you must make the eight ball with a bank shot to win the game. Secondly, if you scratch trying to make the eight ball, you do not lose. In other words the game continues until someone makes a bank eight. I thought this was cool because it makes the game last longer and with the smaller table, is significantly easier to do than on a full size (7 foot) bar table. Also, bars that have house rules mean that the same guys play there all the time, in other words, there is almost always competition. I played Booter for two games, lost the first and won the second, despite the fact that he was obviously better than me.

Roger's Place is your typical hole in the wall with regular customers. It seems like it would be a fun place on the weekends. I'm guessing that a lot of craziness goes on here. On top of that, Booter told me that Willie York has been hanging out there a lot lately. So if you want an opinion on just about anything, maybe you can go down to Roger's and have a little talk with Willie! I know I have always found his semi-incoherent slurs to be very enlightening.

Cheers to Roger's Place!

Update - I've really grown fond of this place and the characters in it. Several times, people at the bar have thrown down some cash to buy a half pint for Willie who stops in from time to time. Booter is a great bartender and a fun guy to talk to. Kenny and Donnie are two brothers who sit at the Adams St. end of the bar and are nothing short of hilarious. Kenny's catchphrase is Yah Right! This place is a real solid boozer and is usually busiest from 5 - 8 on the weekdays. It gets kind of slow after that and is a good place to waste away by yourself if you're looking for solitude.