Peoria Institution: Jan's Tap, the Best Cubs Bar in Peoria

Update May 20, 2012
I randomly found myself in the South End Wednesday night, and with the Cubs game on the radio and a few dollars in my pocket, I figured it would be best to stop in at Jan's.

First off, you should know that Jan's husband has been diagnosed with lung cancer. So, keep him in your prayers (if you do that sort of thing) or your thoughts (I think we all have those).

Wednesday provided a beautiful night for some late night scratch-offs and yet another devastating Cubs loss. When I walked in, there were only three people at the bar. One, I soon learned, was named Leland, who admitted he gambles "a lot."

"Not a winner, Leland," the bartender said.

"Damn. I've lost 60 dollars tonight."

Following that, Leland rambled on semi-incoherently about "notebooks" from "'47, '48 and '49" that he sold for $100 a pop. He told us they were actually worth $250 a piece. I'm still not sure what he was talking about but I think it was some kind of annual program for the Cubs. It didn't matter; ears were caught, and the bartender deftly slipped away.

I informed the bartender I won $4 on my $2 scratch-off.

"You sure?" she asked.

"The machine will tell you what it's made of," Leland chimed in.

Indeed, Jan's has a new machine that scans each scratch-off, ensuring that Leland-types can't pull any fast ones on whoever is behind the bar.

It's fitting that the most notorious Cubs bar in town also sells a ton of lottery tickets. The dream of winning is still alive and well at Jan's. And much like Cubs fans, these folks are in it for the love of the game.

Click below to read the original review.

Crow's Nest

The Crow's Nest is located at 633 E. Lake Avenue in what is I believe technically Peoria Heights. This place has been a bar since I was still wandering around the playground at Rogi's and used to be called Ajay's. Located just next door is another tavern, the Stadium Club.

The Crow's Nest is a small and very red bar. The walls are all red and there are several lamps of the same color decorating the bar. Behind the bar is a fancy set of shelves packed with all kinds of booze. Not just your typical John, Jack, and Jose either, Crow's Nest has the extras like the various flavored Three Olives etc. Not my thing but some people like to mix it up with that stuff. They also have four beers on tap; Bud, Bud Light, Miller Lite, and Coors Light. One very unique thing about the Nest is that they have a modern pay phone, just next to the front door. I say it's modern because it has a card swipe thingy on it, I've never seen one anywhere else. There are daily specials at the Nest, Tuesdays are $2 domestic bottles, I didn't write down the rest, I will add an update to this post as soon as I get the chance.

The bar seats about 15 and there are a dozen or so stools opposite the bar with a shelf for your drinks. In between is one of the three pool tables. Now that I think about it, the fact that there are three tables in Crow's Nest might add to the allusion that this place is small. The two tables at either end will cost you 75 cents and the Valley table in the middle costs 50. This is pretty unique. I don't think I've ever been to a place where one table costs more than the other. Speaking of pool, if you want a challenge, the Crow's Nest is the place to go. Not surprisingly, there are a lot of good shooters at the Nest. They have a team that plays in the River City Billiards league and they are damn good. A word of warning though, these tables are FAST! The Nest has some of the fastest tables I have ever played on. So, grab a light cue (16 or 17) and take it easy on that cue ball!

There's only one TV at the Nest but it is a big one that is jammed tightly behind the bar. To the left of the bar are two computer monitors with internet available to browse. The bathrooms are right near the back door and are labelled Pimps and Hoes, which should be pretty easy to figure out. In between the Stadium Club and the Nest is a small smoking area for you twenty percenters out there. The Stadium Club is another place the PBR plans on checking out soon (hopefully) but you'll have to wait for that review.

So, cheers to the straight shooters of the River City and cheers to the Crow's Nest!

Jillian's

Okay, it's been a while since the PBR has written a negative review. After the controversy over the Douchebag Bars post, our editor in chief decided it would be good to hold off on bashing a place for a while. So, since there has been several positive reviews in the past couple of weeks it is time to even the scales. In case you hadn't already gotten the hint and you happen to be someone who really likes Jillian's you might not want to read this post. And away we go....

Jillian's is located in the former Linen's and Things building at the The Shoppes at Grand Prairie (aka the new mall). I never went in there when it was still Linen's and Things but they must have had a lot of "things" in there because this place is fucking huge. One thing I will say about Jillian's is that it is a great place to take your kids or host a birthday party. There are plenty of games for the kiddies to play and a nice selection of food and drinks for the adults as well as a comfortable bar and dining area complete with plenty of TV's. There is even a bowling alley with 6 or 7 lanes for your pin-knockin-down pleasure. The games run the gamete from classics like skee-ball and the basketball free-throw game to newer video games like Time Crisis (my personal favorite) and some take-your-chance games that you can win tickets off of. Just like Chuck E Cheese there are a bunch of corny prizes to "buy" with your tickets. They even have a guitar for the low low price of 9000 tickets. However, you would probably have to spend about $200 to get that many tickets. Beyond all that, there really isn't anything about Jillian's that's all that great. It is just not a place that I (or any of my friends for that matter) would want to go to to have drinks.

The bar at Jillian's is really nice and has four (4) large flatscreens and a good selection of beers on tap and in bottles. What's the problem with that you ask? Well it might have to do with the fact that everything at Jillian's is outrageously overpriced. I drank four beers there and my tab was almost thirty dollars. Now, that might not be a big deal for some of you but for me, that is quite ridiculous. Usually after spending thirty dollars at a bar I'm pretty well buzzed and probably ready to call it a night. Another thing that pisses me off about Jillian's are the pool tables. They are absolutely gorgeous. They are full size nine foot tables with red felt and copper pockets. I don't think I've ever shot on a table as nice as the ones at Jillian's. There is just one problem; they cost TWELVE FUCKING DOLLARS AN HOUR! Oh, and this price goes up on the weekends and at night. I've been to Jillian's twice now and have yet to see anyone playing on them, what a waste. The food is decent but once again overpriced. Basically, you're eating Chili's style food but paying 2-3 dollars more on any given dish.

This review is not a knock on anyone who works at or frequents Jillian's. If you like the place, good for you, it's just not my thing. Actually, it kind of is my thing, just not at those prices. Hell, they serve beer at Chuck E Cheese and have practically the same amount of games! Not to mention, they are far cheaper. I think this is another example the "new place" syndrome. Where in, a new place opens up and a bunch of people (with more money than me) pack the joint just because it's pretty inside. In my mind, going somewhere and paying more for a beer when there are plenty of places around that are just as nice but cheaper and, in some cases locally owned, is the same thing as buying a Hummer. Really, you really need a fucking Hummer? What are you, preparing for the Apocalypse? Don't worry though, this place will rake in the dough, all of which will go to whatever corporation owns Jillian's, far, far away from Peoria. Sure, we'll make money off the taxes but I just loath chains. I would have much rather seen a local business open up in this location. Although that's probably impossible due to the sheer magnitude of the building.

Oh, and there was an assload of douchebags in Affliction and Ed Hardy gear there as well as plenty of Hummers in the parking lot. So, the PBR will not be giving a cheers to Jillian's, we will save our cheers for places that actually deserve it. In case you have forgotten you can send your hate mail to peoriabarreview@yahoo.com, post it on the Facebook page, or just let it fly in the comments section! The PBR will however give a cheers to staff writer DS who was supposed to write this post months ago when Jillian's first opened and is just now getting around to it. Cheers DS!

Peoria Institution: Garden Gate Tap

The Garden Gate Tap is located on Garden St. just off of Adams in downtown Peoria. The Garden Gate has the unlucky distinction of having the address 1313 W. Garden St. The GGT, as it is affectionately known (between TheChief and Bobby Bolts that is) is a small and friendly neighborhood tavern. The reason it is called the Garden Gate is because of the gates that protect the windows and door from vandals and would-be robbers. No need to worry though, the GGT is just as safe as any of the other many bars in this area. Why a thief would want to rob a bar I will never know. It seems to me that walking into a room full of drunk people and robbing their favorite watering hole would be the last thing you would want to do. It must have something to do with the fact that bars are open later than most other businesses.

The GGT is definitely a no-frills place. I added the Gate to the PBR's list of Peoria Institutions after a recent trip down there. Back when the majority of Peorians actually lived downtown there was quite a few taverns in this area. As time has gone on though they have closed and most of these buildings remain empty. The Gate, like Roger's is one of the few remaining holdouts. The bar itself is very intimate. It is the classic one- room bar design. The bars seats twenty and there are no tables. The Gate is another place where there is no TV behind the bar, a phenomenon I've touched on before. There are however two TV's at either end of the bar. In the middle of the room is a Valley pool table that really doesn't get much action considering the cramped space. What does get a lot of action though is the Shuffleboard table. I'm a big fan of shuffleboard but I was informed by one of the regulars that I was playing the wrong way. As a matter of fact, my method of playing was so foreign to both the bartender and the locals that on a return trip a different bartender asked BB and I if we were the ones there a few weeks earlier playing "that weird version of shuffle". I said yes and we had a nice discussion on the many different versions people have of shuffleboard. At the Gate, they play some very odd games, the rules of which fail me now but as soon as I learn them I'll be sure to let you know.

The regulars are very welcoming at the gate as are the prices. The last few times I've been to the Gate, there hasn't been any beer on draft, despite the three tappers in the middle of the bar. A bottle of domestic will cost you two(2) bucks and a shot is four (4). Don't expect to find any imports in this place. Well, they might have them but I would expect they don't and asking for one would probably get some laughs from the folks at the bar. The GGT is a classic shot-and-a-beer bar which are always my favorite. As I said the regulars (mostly old timers, I was the youngest person in there by about 30 years) are very friendly. The gentleman (and I use this term loosely) I talked to down there was quick with a joke and advice on shuffleboard. For instance:

Guy: "What did God say to the Cubs?"
Me:  "I don't know."
Guy: " Don't do anything until I get back!"
Me: "Haahahahaha" thinking in my mind, I can't wait till 2012 that is our year!

Now, as a Cubs fan I have had to hear a shitload of crappy Cubs jokes but this one got me. Anything that references God and the Apocalypse in joke form is always good stuff. Another great thing about the Gate is their jukebox. They still have an old school flip disc juke box. I would be remiss if I didn't tell you though, that the juke is filled with nothing but country. The artists range from old school suicide country like Hank Williams and George Jones to neo-classic country like George Strait, all the way up to the Jimmy Buffett-esque stuff from Kenny Chesney. I love some classic country but my limit at the Gate would be about 2 hours unless I was really shithoused, then I could stick around longer. Without massive amounts of booze in me I have to have some variety. No worries though, Roger's is right down the street so I could always head up there and get my fix of Little Milton and my favorite pool-shootin, shot-takin, beer-poundin song, Eminence Front.

Back to the joke guy. He taught me so many bar tricks I can't even remember all of them. The one in the picture above I was able to pull off (that's why I took the picture.) As you can see there is only about two swigs missing from that bottle of glorious Bud Light and yet it is perfectly balanced on that salt shaker. How did I do this you ask? Well, the trick to it is you have to have those old school salt shakers with square dimples on them. They used to have them at just about every greasy spoon diner but they're pretty hard to find now. I do know of one place that still has them, the Garden Gate Tap! So, while this is a really cool trick, the only place I know of where I could pull it off would be the Gate. Bummer. I'm gonna keep my eye out though so I can win some money off some schmuck at a bar someday. If anyone reading this knows of a place that has or sells these shakers, shoot me an email at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com or on our Facebook page.

If I didn't live so far from the Gate, I would definitely like to get real drunk in there on a Saturday night and see what kind of craziness goes on. Maybe I could even get into a good old fashioned barroom brawl or something, that would be sweet. For now, I'll just have to settle for the Gate being one of my "few beers after work joint." A man can dream though.

There are so many bars in this area you could take a day and just do "beer a bar" (copyright Bobby Bolts 1998). Although when you get to the Gate, the friendly atmosphere might make you want to stay for more than one, I know it always does for me. Cheers to the Garden Gate Tap and cheers to the holdouts!

Blue

Blue is a new (ish) bar located at 619 W. Main St., just a few doors down from the Elbo Room. Blue has been open for (I think) about 6-8 months. The building at 619 Main has been a bar for a long time starting with the Gaslight, then the Gaslight II, and, for a short time Top of the Hill Bar and Grill. I never got the chance to go here when it was still the Gaslight but it was, apparently a much different place than it is now. The owners of Blue basically completely gutted, rearranged, and refurbished the entire bar, giving a much different atmosphere than the Gaslight had.

Unfortunately, the Journal Star's completely useless website turned up no hits when I searched it for the Gaslight. So, you're just going to have to take my word on the following story. The Gaslight was apparently run by a group of coke dealers/heads who were eventually brought down by the FBI and sentenced to a federal pound me in the ass prison. Whomever took over after that turned it into the Top of the Hill Bar and Grill for a short time before closing up shop. So, you can't get with the white lady at 619 W. Main anymore but you can get drinks, food and a good time.

Blue is the most unique bar in Peoria. It is definitely not your typical downtown dive. Blue caters to a more high class set than most (okay, all) of the bars in the area. The atmosphere is very artsy as is the clientele. The bar seats about twenty and is topped with an intricate mosaic of blue, white, and green tiles. One could easily spend an hour tracing the various loops and turns of the tiles. There are extremely comfortable high backed stools at the bar with their chair counterparts at the tables near the front (Main St.) entrance. In the middle of the bar is a nice new Valley pool table with new cues for your shooting pleasure. Just inside the back entrance is an old school, flip disc jukebox. The jukebox has a great selection of music ranging from indie to punk and most importantly LOCAL ARTISTS! There is even a disc in there that just has a question mark on it, in case you're in the mood for some mystery. Other unique aspects of Blue include and old school dart board, board games, retro glasses (I got Elmer Fudd) and on some nights, Nintendo on the flatscreen. Nothing beats getting drunk and playing Super Mario Bros. Blue is primarily a hipster bar, but (I think) the owner is a Cubs fan, so you don't have to worry about missing the game.

The prices at Blue are reasonable especially if you heed the nightly specials. You can check them out on Facebook, where they do a good job of letting everyone know what the specials are everyday. Blue also serves food, you can eat there or order take out. Their menu consists of mostly soups, salads, and sandwiches. They also have free wi-fi which makes it a great place for lunch if you work downtown. The menu has all kinds of fancy stuff on it that my girlfriend tried to explain to me but I still failed to understand. Despite the fanciness, the food is reasonably priced. Not sure what the kitchen hours are but they have menus available for you to add to your collection.

So, if your sick of the same old shot-and-a-beer bars here in town, head down to Blue and enjoy the unique atmosphere. I'm pretty sure they are the only bar in about ten square miles that serves wine. Blue is a great place to take your girlfriend to. She'll be happy about the wine and the atmosphere and you can still catch the game and play some pool. Blue has a little bit of everything.

A big cheers goes to Blue for providing downtown Peoria with a little class and another big cheers for supporting local artists!

Editor's Note: I stole the picture of the bar from Blue's Facebook page.

Update: Blue was recently approved for a 2 AM liquor license. According to their Facebook page, they will be open till 2 on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.

Peoria Institution: The Hillside

The Hillside is located at 1745 North Sheridan Road near Gale Ave. The Hillside may be the most aptly named bar in Peoria as the building is situated at the bottom of two hills (Sheridan and Gale). Driving by as a kid, it always reminded of a hobbit hole for some reason. The building is small and old, the only thing that really sticks out in my mind is the small breezeway that serves as the front (and only) entrance to the bar. One thing that is truly unique about this bar is the parking lot, which is on the south side of the building. If you own a truck, it would be no big deal to pull straight out onto Sheridan. If you own a car however, trying this will surely end up with a badly scraped bumper. So if you happen to find yourself leaving the Hillside after a few cocktails remember; BACK OUT!

A little bit of history for you. PBR staffer DS told me that the Hillside used to be called JT's and was apparently a great place to get the white stuff. Why it wasn't always called the Hillside I will never know. Anyway, I remember always seeing cars parked right on Sheridan in front of and up the hill from this bar. A friend of a friend told me that one time, a drunk driver (not me, I swear!) was flying down the hill and hit the car farthest up the hill. This, apparently started what was surely a hilarious cartoonish accordion-style smashing of numerous vehicles. The person who told me this story did not find humor in it, as his car was involved and did not fare well in the collision. He says that ever since then, very few people park on the hill. Indeed that is the case, most days I drive by the Hillside, sometimes there might be one car, parked directly in front of the bar but that's about it.

There are two things that are extremely unique about the Hillside. First, is the bar which is (Cardinal) red and has raised dots on it that remind me of Lego blocks. Second, is the fact that the Hillside has two (2) addresses. The correct address is listed above but, if you look just to the right of the door, the original address is 803, which can be found inside the breezeway upon entering the bar.

One of the things I like most about the Hillside is that, it's kind of in a no man's land. Just up the street, north of McClure, are Whitey's Tip Top and the Sports Page (now under a different name.) If you drive south you'll find yourself on Main St. right next to the Elbo Room and Blue. The valley in between these two bar clusters, holds the Hillside. This bar is heavy on charm. The Hillside is the kind of place where on most nights, the bartender is drinking a beer right along with you. Most of the time this works without a problem but on one of my first visits there, the guy made a mistake. I ordered a vodka tonic and was handed what turned out to be a tequila tonic. I'm not a big fan of tequila to begin with but having to drink it with no warning was especially jarring. I told the bartender about the mix up and he gave me a free vodka tonic, all the while insisting that the drink he had made me was "not that bad". Yah, that's right, he actually drank it. I can't remember what he named it but I do know he was a pretty funny guy. This is also a place (like Roger's) where it's pretty easy to coax the bartender into a game of pool. Most of the time though, you would be better off just putting your money on the table as the beer slingers at both of these places are pretty damn good.

Speaking of pool, the Hillside has got you covered if you're into billiards. They have two tables, one of which is usually vacant as it sits in a weird little side room away from the bar. The other one, which is pictured above is straight back at the end of the bar. If you are a pool cue snob, you might want to bring your own. The cues at the Hillside are well loved. I usually play my best games with a bent cue on a shitty bar table though, so it doesn't bother me. Behind the main table is the stained glass beer serving lady, which looks like it's supposed to be German and helps to give the bar some of it's character. There are two small flatscreens at either end of the bar with none in between. It seems to be like there are a lot of bars in Peoria like this. Maybe it is because they have been bars before there was TV, I'm not quite sure. The jukebox is a digital one (boo!), so you can play T-Pain right before Hank Williams. That's what I usually do just to keep everyone happy. You are probably going to need a diverse taste in music for a night at the Hillside. Most nights, the jukebox jumps from country to rap and everything in between.

This is especially true on karaoke night, which is one of the most fun I've ever been to. Whatever you do, don't try to sing "Love Train" because there is this dude there that sings it perfectly and does the dance too. For your game playing pleasure there is also a pin ball machine and Golden Tee to hold your interest.

Just before writing this post, I decided it would be a good idea to go down to the Hillside once again to get a feel for the place. It was my plan to take down the daily/weekly specials to let you, dear reader, know about them. I failed miserably. All I know is that on most nights a pitcher of beer will cost you 5 bucks. Shots are around $3 a piece and there is an extremely spartan, yet workable amount of booze behind the bar. My return to the Hillside though, turned out to be a magical one, as one of the regulars provided the bar with a ridiculous amount of Avanti's bread. I walked out with 6 loaves and there were many more to be had beyond that.

The Hillside is definitely a Cardinals bar. The bartender's name is Steve Cardinal, which pretty much designates him as a Cardinal fan for life. Much like most Cardinal fans that I know, he is a fan of all things baseball which means that if the Cards aren't playing the Cubs will be on the TV. Steve is also a big fan of Yogi Berra and his timeless quotes. One final note, if you decide to go to the Hillside and the door is locked, just give it a knock and whomever is bartending will answer. Just because it is late doesn't mean they are closed, it just means they're careful!

Cheers to the Hillside and cheers to Cardinal fans, even though they are misguided, lost souls who secretly wish they could root for a team that has enough resilience to play for a championship 102 years in the making!

Peoria Institution: Tina's Coach Stop

Tina's Coach Stop is located at 3522 West Lincoln Ave. in Peoria. I think technically this part of Peoria is known as Bellevue but could also be considered South Peoria as Tina's sits atop the bluff just a short drive from the southside. I'll tag Tina's as being part of both both.

Tina's is a bar with a lot of history. The building was constructed in 1840 and was originally an inn. The bar is below ground in what used to be the horse stables. The 1st and 2nd floors are vacant and Tina informed me that they are filled with her stepfather's antique collections. Rumor has it that Abraham Lincoln stopped here back in the day, but Tina could not confirm or deny this legend. One of the first things I thought upon entering the bar was "how in the hell did they get this pool table in here?" It must have been a feat of engineering as neither of the doors are at all big enough to squeeze it through. There are only two (2) explanations as to how the table got there. Either the building was built around the table (not likely but would be awesome), or the table was brought in piece by piece and put together inside the bar.

Tina's is cramped with only about 15 stools around the rectangular bar. Drafts are available through one of those old "keg in the wall" tappers. I had a Bud Light ($2.25 on Thursdays, $1.25 on Fridays) and the bartender brought me a can. I'm pretty sure Tina's doesn't have bottles. As I pounded down numerous beers, the bartender Randy kept up by ripping the tabs off and crushing each can in some kind of awesome can crusher I've never seen before. Randy did a good job at first but as more and more people poured in the cans started to add up on the bar. No worries though, Tina hopped to it and started crushing away. Everyone was really nice and Tina made sure that I learned as much about the place as she could tell me. Tina's was featured in a book by local historian and Journal Star columnist Jerry Kline (I think it is called "Played in Peoria"). The picture was taken sometime in the 50's and the only difference was the lack of the front breezeway which is a recent edition. Seeing as how Tina's is well over a hundred years old, the definition of "recent" is a little different than most places. I'd say the breezeway is approaching it's twentieth birthday.

Not surprisingly, there is a supernatural element to Tina's. Both Tina and Randy, as well as several regulars attested to seeing figures and witnessing odd events. Apparently, one night the pool table was empty, no balls and no chalk. Randy and one of the regulars were the only folks in the bar when they heard what they thought was something falling over in the back room. Both went back to check it out and found nothing out of place. When they returned to the bar, they found several balls and a cube of chalk on the pool table. Spooooooky. I'm not sure if I believe this tale but it still makes for good storytelling and with a place as old as Tina's I wouldn't doubt that ghosts could be hanging around.

I'm going to go ahead and add Tina's to the list of Peoria Institutions. It is a shame that I didn't put it on there to begin with but I honestly didn't know about it until recently. Well, I had heard of it before and seen pictures in the Bar Paper but I had no idea the historical significance of the building. If Tina had enough money to renovate the building with the proper materials it would be very easy for her to have it added to an historical landmark list. I guess I just didn't picture it in my mind as it exists in person. This is not just another South Peoria dive bar. Tina's, like Mike's has an historic element that makes it very special and when you walk in the bar you can feel it immediately. Everyone in Peoria should go check this place out. You might get a couple looks at first but it doesn't take much time at all for the regulars to warm up to you. Not to mention that Tina is as gracious a host as any barfly could hope for. I'm definitely going to make Tina's one of my regular stops and you, dear reader should as well. So, cheers to history and cheers to the Coach Stop!

Bullpen Sports Bar at Landmark

The Bullpen Sports Bar is located inside the Landmark Recreation Center on Dries Lane in Peoria. For those of you who don't know, this space was formally occupied by the Off-Track Betting Parlor. While, I think its kind of sad to see that place go (childhood memories and all) I fully understand the decision to do away with a space so large and devoted solely to betting on horses mainly because OTB's are on their way out. There was a time when almost every town had one and betting on horse racing was very popular. There was also a time when someone combined the words "leisure" and "suit" for some unknown reason. I remember going to the OTB with my dad when I was a kid. Get a racecard, pick your horse (usually based on how cool the name was), and place your bet. Apparently though, dads taking their sons there once a year wasn't enough to keep the place afloat. Another remnant of the past is gone forever. But there is something to be happy about and that something is the Bullpen.

I cannot stress enough how big this place is. If I had to guess, I'd say about 1600 square feet. The Bullpen is a typical modern sports bar but it has the feel of someplace one might find in Chicago. There are at least 30 flatscreens in every corner of the bar as well as two enormous projections, one right over the bar and another just to the right of it. Now, if this sounds like too much for you, than you can go Fuck Off, because there are some serious sports nuts in this town and not enough places to actually watch a game.

To be clear, when I say "watch a game" there are certain number of things I am looking for. First off, I would like to actually hear the sound of said game. Nothing is worse than watching a prime time sporting event and having it drowned out by someone's jukebox picks. I have seen this scenario all too often. During the final minutes of this year's NCAA Men's National Championship Game, I had to endure "Picture" by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Now, I realize that not everyone cares about sports as much as I do but come the fuck on! How can there be a person that exists who still wants to hear that damn song? Most big sports bars that you go to will have the audio on for big games but what separates the men from the boys is having the audio on for every game. I was pleasantly surprised on my first trip to the Bullpen when I found the Cubs game on with audio. The Cardinals were playing as well and they went to that game as soon as the Cubs finished off the Mets. I'm not sure how they decided which game to play but I have a feeling they pick whatever game is on first.

Besides my fascination with gameday audio, there are plenty of other things that are sweet about the Bullpen. There are 3 pool tables, 2 bags games, a shuffleboard table (right to left baby right to left!), and some kind of horse racing game that is huge and I don't have any idea how it works, but it's cool they decided to pay tribute to the bar's heritage. Another bit of awesomeness that the Bullpen provides are the Towers. The Towers are clear cylinder that hold 200 ounces of beer. That's......... oh I don't know I suck at math, but I do know that's a lot of beer and beer is good! You can get a half (must have a minimum of two people) or a full (minimum of four). To get one filled with domestic beer (only Bud Light is good enough to grace the inside of a tower) it'll cost you $20, imports are $30. I find it funny that they had to enforce the "minimum people" rule for consuming one of these. I don't doubt that some dumbass (me) would have tried to order one for himself but you would think common sense would come into play.

Bartender: Do you seriously think you can drink all that beer before it gets warm?
Me: Do you seriously think I will give a fuck if it is warm after I drink the first 100 ounces?
Bartender: Good point. ONE TOWER OF BUD LIGHT TO TABLE 3!

Now that little scenario has played itself out in my head, we can move on to the food. The menu is your typical pub food; burgers, pizza, wings, etc. but there are some interesting items not found many other places. For one they have these things called salads, which I was very excited about until the waitress informed me that they consist mostly of lettuce. There are seven of them though, which is more than I've ever seen on a bar menu. I wanted to get chicken wings but my girlfriend reminded me that I had already reached my weekly quota of 24. So, I settled for a little snack of catfish curls, queso dippers, and loaded fries. All were good, especially the catfish strips. Unknowingly, I had ordered almost the exact same thing as Phil Luciano when he reviewed the Bullpen. Seeing as we are the only two people in Peoria who write about such important things, maybe a little planning would have helped to provide you the reader with some critiques of other menu items. Call me Phil. The Bullpen has drink and food specials for every day of the week. I know that Wednesdays are $1 domestic drafts and 1/2 price appetizers, beyond that I can't remember, I'll post them ASAP.

The beers are many. The Bullpen has a six foot cooler full of bottles that I didn't look at because there people sitting in front of it and I didn't want to be a creep. On draft are Erdinger, Guinness, Smithwicks, Blue Moon, Harp, Budweiser, Bud Light (mmmmm), and Miller Lite ( learn how to spell assholes!) I don't know the prices of all of these but it doesn't really matter, the Bullpen's specials ensure that you will find a deal every day of the week, no matter what your taste.

One final thought about the Bullpen. I realize that sports bars are pretty much all the same. I also realize that one could go to Old Chicago or Buffalo Wild Wings and get pretty much the same atmosphere provided by the Bullpen. But one of the things that drives me crazy about Peorians is their occasional unwillingness to support local businesses. Look at Grand Prairie. The place is packed all the time. As are Old Chicago, BWW, and other places like them (Panera). Have you eaten at any of these places? The food sucks! I could make better chicken wings with ketchup and turkey for fucks sake! I honestly believe that there are people in this city who see a chain restaurant go up and would rather go there because it has "proven" itself, rather than take a chance on a lesser known but local place like the Bullpen. First of all, the only thing that chain restaurants have proven is that they are good at making money, not necessarily food. Ask your friends where the best wings are or who makes the best pizza. I'm guessing not many of them say BWW or Old Chicago. If they do, they are either A. fucking stupid or B. extremely sheltered. If they are B get them to Schooners for some wings and either Hoops, Double A's, or Aggi's for pizza. Then ask them that question again. If they still say they prefer the aforementioned chains, cut off all contact with them, they cannot be saved. More than likely though, they will thank you for exposing them to such local favorites. And if they do thank you, you can't really take credit for it, because I was the one who told you to do it in the first place. So, you must have them thank me. Just have them shout out; THANK YOU PEORIA BAR REVIEW! as loud as they can. If they are lucky, I will hear it and it will bring a smile to my face. And an angel will get some chicken wings, or something like that.

So, go check out the Bullpen the next time you want to watch and listen to a game uninterrupted by crappy jukebox picks. Or just go there and eat. It ain't healthy per se but fuck if it ain't good!
Cheers to local businesses and cheers to the Bullpen!

Bar Hours
Sunday - Wednesday 11am - 1am
Thursday - Saturday 11am - 2am
Kitchen Hours
Sunday - Thursday 11am - 11pm
Friday and Saturday 11am - 12am

7th of July 2011 update: I'm pleased to announce that the 'Pen has been a great success. I've thouroughly enjoyed watching some marquee sporting events there since I wrote this review. It gets a little crazy on Saturday nights but other than this place is a solide boozer and in my mind, the best place in town to watch big games.

Cheers to the Bullpen and R.I.P. to the OTB

Last Chance, a popular three-shift bar and weekend bro-fest

A fellow word-maker for the sake of a newspaper with me at the papah has consistently defended the right of downtown bars to maintain 4 a.m. liquor licenses. His argument for them is simple: Peoria is, and always has been a three-shift town.

And while there 

Update from I forgot when

Yeah, this place has been getting worse by the week. During the winter months, the smoking patio is fucking ridiculous. I've joked that when you're out there for any significant amount of time, it's like getting hickory smoked. Just cut off some arm meat, put it on a bun and call it "pulled person." 

Thursday through Saturday is especially ridiculous. The bar is packed with loud mouthed 21-year-olds who seem like they're getting drunk for the first time. 

And the music, dear God, the music. It's fucking horrible and good luck trying to do anything about it after 11, it's next to impossible. It's only going to get worse this summer. 

Update also from I forgot when

These improvements have come at a price however. The changes to the Chance have brought in a different crowd. I'm starting to see a lot less regulars and a lot more new faces. Sometimes change is a good thing and sometimes it's not. To be clear, I'm not hating on the people that have recently discovered the Chance, the majority of them seem really nice. But we all know how the loud voices/actions of a minority can taint a whole group of people. 

Another problem with the recent renovations regards the pool tables. The Chance has always been, primarily, a billiards bar and now a wrench has been thrown into that system. The dart board has been moved to a place where, if more than two people are playing, it makes it very difficult to play pool on either of the pool tables. I'm not bothered that I can't play as much pool as before (I'm sure there are many who are) my concern is, believe it or not, safety.

It's only a matter of time before some drunken asshole gets in a fight with another drunken asshole over the pool table/dart board. Unfortunately, this is a case where owner of the Chance is trying to squeeze every possible dollar he can out of the joint. I know, it's his bar and it's his prerogative but this is part of the reason why he's losing so many loyal customers.

Another reason, is the fact that several of the regulars' favorite bartenders have been replaced with younger, cuter, and less experienced girls. I'm sure they're real nice but it's a lot like your team trading away your favorite player for someone who has promise but just isn't quite as good.

Times change and people have to adapt, it just sucks to see place you love go to shit, which, unfortunately is what's happening to the Last Chance. I'll still be there several nights a week, just not for as long as before.

I guess we could always stage a mutiny and get some of our favorite bartenders back. You know, like in episode one from the sixth season of Cheers? What's that? You're not familiar with that episode? Well here, let me refresh your memory, (if you're impatient, skip to the 3:15 mark).

Original Review

The Last Chance Bar and Grill is located at 2713 W. Second St. in north Peoria. If that address sounds confusing it's because it is. The Last Chance can be found north of the Super Wal Mart on Allen Rd. This bar is the last chance to get something to drink if your destination is either Dunlap or Princeville. I don't know why it took me so long to write a review for this place (procrastination) but most of my friends and I go there a few times a week.

The Chance is a family owned bar and on a given night, is usually filled with the same group of regulars. The Chance has two pool tables and a dart board. Over the bar, there are three nice TVs. Beers are cheap, I always get a pitcher of Bud Light ($5) and Jameson ($4). There are nightly specials for drinks and daily specials for food but they change every week so you'll just have to take my word for it. During the day, the Chance is more restaurant than bar as they have an extensive breakfast and lunch menu. The hours for food are listed below. Butch's pizzas are always available, Sunday nights are free chili dogs and Monday nights are free tacos.

Every week the Last Chance holds a drawing. Ask the bartender to sign up and she'll give you a notebook to put your name in (no pseudonyms if you want to get paid). Once you're in, you're in every week. The drawing is held from 7-8 on Wednesday night and costs nothing to enter. The prize starts at $25 and moves up by $25 increments for every week without a winner. And if you win a decent amount of money (over $100), you are expected to buy the house a round, which, at the Last Chance is pretty cheap.

Saturday nights are always packed and sometimes it takes a while to get your drink, unless you're regular. Basically, the reason I like this place so much (besides the fact that I know a lot of regulars) is that you can have it your way (fuck you Burger King!). If you're in the mood to just sit at the bar and go numb, you can do that. If you're looking for some casual conversation, you can have that too. In short, there aren't a lot of abrasive personalities that hang out at the Last Chance. It's just a regular bar filled with regular folks. That may sound boring but, I think sometimes we all need a good shot of normalcy. I know I do.


Update II - Yah, this place has been getting douchier by the week. During the winter months, the smoking patio is fucking ridiculous. I joked that when you're out there for any significant amount of time, it's like getting hickory smoked. Just cut of some arm meat, put it on a bun and call it "pulled person." Thursdays through Saturdays are especially ridiculous with the bar packed to capacity with loud mouthed 21 year olds who seem like they're getting drunk for the first time. And the music, dear God, the music. It's fucking horrible and good luck trying to do anything about it after 11, it's next to impossible. It's only going to get worse this summer. Good luck barflies of Peoria!

Jimmy Earp's Hideaway

Jimmy Earp's is located at 1507 S. Laramie St. in South Peoria. It sits just a few blocks south of the Iron Rooster and a few blocks east of Jan's Tap, a nice little trifecta of neighborhood taverns. I'm not sure if this neighborhood has a name but it is frequently referred to in the bar paper as Limestone Township. I guess this is for a reason because the neighborhood in which these bars are located is bordered by Bellevue and South Peoria. Either way, it's a pretty rough neighborhood but definitely not the worst.

Long ago, in a galaxy far away (or right here in Peoria), when I was an amateur in the highly skilled game of bar frequenting, the Hideaway probably wouldn't have been my first (or second) choice. But one day, I just so happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to stop in. After a few drinks, some friends showed up and the regulars started pouring in. A short while later the band started setting up. Now, usually you wouldn't expect a neighborhood tavern to have a house band but the Hideaway does and they are lead by the owner Jimmy. I know everyone out there may not be as big a Kiss fan as I am but I think most will admit that some of there music is very likeable. Not to mention the fact that most cover bands don't play Kiss songs and if they do, it is almost guaranteed to be a cut-rate version of "Rock and Roll All Nite". Anyways, the rag tag group of musicians at Jimmy's that night started out their first of two sets with the Kiss classic "Strutter". I immediately fell in love with Jimmy's and can count this moment as the genesis of my love for dive bars.

That night was a few years ago but after going there this past weekend I can tell you not much has changed. The pool table still has some of the best shooters in town (male and female) and the shuffleboard table still sees a lot of action. By 8:00 the 5 poker machines are spoken for and the jukebox is cranked up to 11. The beer is cheap, $2 a bottle and mixed drinks/shots are cheap too, probably because the bar isn't crowded with all those fancy "top shelf" vodkas, tequilas, and whiskys. If you want a shot, your choices in those three fields of study would be: Smirnoff, Jose, and Jack, not a problem for most.

If any of my readers (all three of you) are reading this post thinking, "what's so special about this place other than your nostalgia" I have something that might peak your interest in the Hideaway. Actually I have three things; the Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night cash drawings. To put it simply: Entry Fee-none, Top Prize-$1200. I'll let that sink in for a minute.



-



Done? Okay. Now, if you're thinking that this is just a ploy to fill the bar on a Saturday night I can tell you you are wrong. The girl who won two weeks ago was present Saturday night. Well, she didn't actually win, but her name was called for the top prize, unfortunately she was not there. So, when the time came (9:00) to draw a name the bartender gave her the honor. The person whose name was called wasn't there so every hour for the rest of the night a name is drawn for a $600 prize. I wasn't signed up but I gave the bartender my name and you can bet your freezing cold ass I'll be there as often as I can, barring extreme physical injury, jail, death, or the off chance I check in to rehab (not likely). I think what's most commendable about the weekly drawings, is the fact that Jimmy's has been robbed twice in the last month. The second robbery being the worst as the crooks got away with almost $1500. Any bar owner who takes a hit like that and still tries to give away large sums of money every week is my kind of guy and possibly a socialist.

Jimmy Earp's is great neighborhood bar and if you're not from the neighborhood, it can be a great place to hide away (god I'm fucking clever). So, sign up for the drawing and maybe you'll win some cash. If you do win however, I would advise you to buy a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, or else you might not make it out of there alive. Cheers to the Hideaway.

Roger's Place

Roger's Place is a great little hole in the wall located at 1923 SW Adams St. just south of downtown Peoria. I went there last night after work to have a few before the Bears game. Roger's is a one room bar with 30 stools, no tables and a smaller than usual pool table. The table looks really old and I can't think of another place where I have seen one the same size. One side of the table is only about four feet from the wall but the bar provides shooters with a short stick in case you have to shoot from that side.

I walked into Roger's about 7:00 and there were only three people inside, including the bartender who is called Booter. I think it is a safe bet that this is a nickname, I can't really picture anyone actually naming their child Booter but I guess anything is possible. Roger's has two beers on draft: PBR and Bud Light. The PBR goes for $0.75 and the Bud Light will cost you $1.00. I thought I would splurge so I ordered a Bud Light. To the suppossed 20% of you reading this, Roger's Place is Altoid tin friendly, if you don't know what this means, I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself. You can also buy six packs of Blatz for $5.00 (awesome!), and 40 ounces of King Cobra or Steel Reserve.

After about 40 minutes the place started to fill up with regulars. The first ones to arrive were two Mexicans, one spoke fluent English, the other did not. Javier told me that he had just come from a DUI class, where he translated for his friend, which I found hilarious. He said it was fun and he heard some good stories. So, basically after attending a court ordered Dry Roads class, Javier's buddy needed a drink and Roger's Place was the watering hole of choice. Anyone who has ever had to go through one of these guilt trip sessions probably has felt the same way. They are like AA meetings without the actual intention of not drinking AND they are required AND you have to pay for them.

I took a picture of the bathroom sink because I don't think I've ever seen one like it. I swear to god the bathroom was two feet by two feet. It had a NO SOLICITING sign on the door, which I assume is some joke about prostitution.

One last thing about Roger's Place, if you are a pool player the following house rules apply if you want to hold the table. First, you must make the eight ball with a bank shot to win the game. Secondly, if you scratch trying to make the eight ball, you do not lose. In other words the game continues until someone makes a bank eight. I thought this was cool because it makes the game last longer and with the smaller table, is significantly easier to do than on a full size (7 foot) bar table. Also, bars that have house rules mean that the same guys play there all the time, in other words, there is almost always competition. I played Booter for two games, lost the first and won the second, despite the fact that he was obviously better than me.

Roger's Place is your typical hole in the wall with regular customers. It seems like it would be a fun place on the weekends. I'm guessing that a lot of craziness goes on here. On top of that, Booter told me that Willie York has been hanging out there a lot lately. So if you want an opinion on just about anything, maybe you can go down to Roger's and have a little talk with Willie! I know I have always found his semi-incoherent slurs to be very enlightening.

Cheers to Roger's Place!

Update - I've really grown fond of this place and the characters in it. Several times, people at the bar have thrown down some cash to buy a half pint for Willie who stops in from time to time. Booter is a great bartender and a fun guy to talk to. Kenny and Donnie are two brothers who sit at the Adams St. end of the bar and are nothing short of hilarious. Kenny's catchphrase is Yah Right! This place is a real solid boozer and is usually busiest from 5 - 8 on the weekdays. It gets kind of slow after that and is a good place to waste away by yourself if you're looking for solitude.

The Northeast Adams Stretch: Dixie's Dungeon and Averyville By Chance

I'm not really sure why there are so many bars on NE Adams in Peoria. It doesn't seem like a huge population center (at least not one that would neccessitate 8 or 9 bars in a 2 mile stretch). Whatever the reason, most of these taverns have been around for a long time. My girlfriend and I went out last night and hit up two of these fine (?) establishments and are planning more trips to check out the rest of them. Here's the breakdown from last night.

First Stop: Dixie's Dungeon 1227 NE Adams

For some reason if you look for bars on NE Adams online there are two entries for this address; Cookie's and Dixie's, apparently this bar is now known ad Dixie's Dungeon. Aesthetically speaking I think referring to Dixie's as a dungeon is a good analogy. It's a small, cramped place seperated into two rooms, one with the bar and another for billiards. Despite the fact that Dixie's has an Adams St. address, the only entrance is on Spring St. When you walk in you'll find yourself looking straight at a bar with about 20 stools. There's a good size flatscreen in the middle (something I suspect is a rarity amongst Adams St. bars), to your left are 6 poker machines, that I assume, like most dives, probably pay out. At the end of this row is an ATM machine, probably because the bar doesn't accept plastic. Also in this front room is a cigarette machine (yes apparently they still exist) one of only two or three that I know of in Peoria. My girlfriend and I ordered two Miller Light drafts for $1.50 each and I was happy to see they were in the full size pint glasses. The bartender was very personable and my girlfriend immediately started a good conversation with her while I searched via the remote for the Blackhawks game on TV. Side note; any place you go where the bartender gives you the remote so you can find what you want to watch is a good place in my book. The beer was cold and the atmosphere was real laid back, of the three other people in Dixie's last night I had good conversations with two of them. The third was a really old guy who looked like he was super drunk and I couldn't understand him that well. In between our first and second beers I took down Dixie's weekly specials.

Sun: $2 vodka drinks
Mon: free food (not sure what kind) and $1 Miller bottles
Tue: $2 Miller Lt. bottles
Wed:$2 wells
Thu: $2 Miller Lt. cans (not sure if the bottles cost more or what thats all about)
Fri: $10 buckets 'o' beer
Sat: $12 buckets 'o' beer

Second Stop: Averyville by Chance 2803 NE Adams

First off, in case you weren't aware the general area that most of these bars fall under is called Averyville and has been for a really long time (when most Peorians actually lived downtown). This bar has had this name for as long as I can remember so it might be encroaching upon "institution" status. I'd really like to go here in the summertime because my impression is that this is a huge Cubs bar. The cabinets behind the bar are all painted red and Cubbie blue, with lots of Cub memoribilia everywhere and the bartender (owner maybe?) was wearing a Cubs hat. Also, my girlfriend said that the girls' bathroom had pro Cubs/anti-Cardinal graffitti all over, yet the guys' had none, so maybe its a Cubs/lesbian bar. Unfortunately, they only have two old rear projection TV's to watch games on. There were three beers on tap; Bud, Bud Light, and PBR (awesome), I had a Red, White, and Blue and started checking the place out. For those of you who like to shoot stuff but can't actually go through with killing a living thing, there is a Big Buck Hunter machine as well as some poker machines, two dartboards, and a pool table. The bar seats about twenty and there are tables and chairs for twenty more, definitely way bigger than Dixie's. It was a cool place but there wasn't really that much going on, so we finished our drinks and moved uptown to check out some bars on Wisconsin Ave. However, I'm guessing that on the weekends Averyville By Chance gets pretty packed and might be worth checking out. Before we left I got the weekly specials.

Sun: $1.50 drafts
Mon: $1.50 drafts
Tue: $2 Monster (energy drink) bombs
Wed: $2 Bud family bottles, $2 UV bombs
Thu: $9 buckets
Fri: $3 Monster bombs
Sat: $3.50 well pints

Cheers to Dixie's and Averyville, for being the kind of laid back dives I have come to love. The next time you find yourself at the bottom of the hill, skip all the downtown bullshit and cruise on up to NE Adams. At least you won't have to pay upwards of three bucks for a Bud Light.

Update: Dixie's has been closed for a few months now with no signs of re-opening. Averyville by Chance is owned by a guy named Chance (duh!) and he is super cool for many reasons, the least of which being his love for Trailer Park Boys. On Sundays, Chance provides his patrons with a nice spread of hot dogs, brats, and usually salsa. Last point, this is a huge Cubs bar, so if you're a fan of another team, don't expect to watch them if the Boys In Blue are playing.
Update II: Dixie's re-opened a few months ago and originally had a sign that said 745 Tap. That sign is gone now but the bar remains open. Also Averyville by Chance has been closed for about a month (I think). Will provide more information as it becomes available.
Update III: I'm still not sure what Dixie's is now called as there is no signage at all on the bar. Secondly, Averyville has been closed for about eight months with no signs of re-opening.