Kouri's Pub

This review is for the Kouri's in Peoria located at 4421 N. Sterling Ave. in the building that used to be Mulligan's. I have not been to any of the other Kouri's. I believe they have locations in Pekin and Germantown Hills. Kouri's used to be just down the street where there is now a Sonic restaurant. First of all, let me say that the owners of Kouri's did a great job of renovating old Mulligan's. They did away with the old patio (which was only useful about 4 months out of the year) and constructed a new one complete with heaters, a fire pit, bar, and numerous TV's. This new patio is great because even in the winter, one can sit outside in relative comfort and smoke. In the warmer months, Kouri's patio is one of the best places in town to enjoy some adult beverages and nice weather.

Kouri's has (cue overused bar review term) a laid back atmosphere and generally speaking, a friendly staff. The food is good but nothing spectacular. Kouri's does have, in my opinion, the best honey mustard in town. Both the food and especially the drinks are overpriced but trust me, the clientele of Kouri's can afford it.


Unfortunately, this is part of the problem with Kouri's. They enjoy having a large group of regulars that, for the past twenty or so years have been continually pumping money into the joint. Now, I understand the need to keep your regulars happy but you have to cater to the newer (and usually less well dressed) patrons. This is something that I don't think the owners and some bartenders of Kouri's have taken to heart. And not to be cruel but someday, Kouris' regulars will...... well they'll be fucking dead. This is why it is important to be courteous to everyone that comes into your bar, not just the people you know. You may be saying to yourself, "what is it that Kouri's did that was so bad, Peoria Bar Review?" If you are asking this question then I'm guessing that you fall into a certain category of people that fit right in up at Kouri's and that's fine. I just don't think that I should have to be over the age of 35, have a good job, and dress like I just got off the golf course to get a drink in a decent amount of time. And no, saying "Whose leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?" does not help.


The PBR rarely bitches about service at a bar, or a particular bar in general. That is because it does not take much to keep a group of level 7 drunks (those employed @ the PBR) happy. As long as the beer is relatively cold (cheapness helps) and served in a decent amount of time, most of us are happier than a puppy with two peters (Copyright "The MurphMan", 2008). There are occasions where bitching about a place whose sole purpose is to serve you is not only a right but an obligation to better serve the community. This is one of those times. Each of the following scenarios are personal experiences that have happened to TheChief. Both of them have been confirmed to have occurred to several members of the Peoria Bar Review staff as well.


Scenario 1 - Can I Get a Fucking Beer Around Here Or What?
There is a bartender at Kouri's who usually works inside and, at least to me, has always been a total dick. I'm not going to describe him because I don't want any loyal PBR readers to harass him but I will say that he's been working there for a long time, even at old Kouri's. Most of us know general barroom etiquette and most bartenders know it as well. Either this gentleman doesn't or he just does not give one simple fuck about anyone but the regulars. Several times, I have walked into Kouri's, pulled out my wallet, removed a greenback, and elbowed up to the bar. Of the 6 or 7 times this has happened, I can only think of one where the place was actually busy. Now, usually pulling out cash at a bar is a sure sign that you would like a drink. Apparently, this bartender has never heard of such a thing. I am not a patient person but this has happened so many times, that I actually find it kind of entertaining and will usually wait as long as I can before asking for a drink. Is he doing this just to spite me? Is he saying "I'm not serving you till you ask me to"? If so, this makes no sense. Most folks who tend bar get you your drink ASAP, just so they don't have to look at your ugly "can I get a beer please" face anymore. This man has never done that. Each time I have gone to the inside bar at Kouri's I always do the same thing. Pull out my money and wait. Maybe once, he actually came up to me and asked what I wanted. All the other times, I have had to wait till he made eye contact, in order to ask him; "Excuse me, your highness but I was wondering if I could trouble you for a moment. I would like a Budweiser Light bottle. If you would be so kind as to procure this for me, I would be ever so grateful and would gladly tip you a generous amount. Pip Pip." Then, and only then, will I finally get my beer. As if this weren't bad enough, there's another bartender outside, who does the exact same thing. Fuck.



Scenario 2 - DirectTV Is Awesome, Unless You Don't Know How To Use It
This past winter I stopped by Kouri's on a Sunday night to catch the end of a Blackhawks game. I fully realize that most people don't appreciate hockey like I do but on a Sunday night in the dead of winter (read. after football season) I figured Kouri's would be the place to go. Why did I assume this? Well for one, they have a ton of TV's and a ton of sports channels on that amazing thing called DirectTV. Little did I realize the fundamental flaw in this plan. No one at Kouri's has the slightest fucking idea how to find anything on DirectTV. We all know that the ladies aren't particularly talented when it comes to the old remote control but it seems when it comes to DirectTV and finding a sporting event, they are hopelessly unequipped (looking forward to hate emails from N.O.W.). It wasn't really the waitress' fault though. I tried looking for the game as well (Menu, Sports, Hockey....what the fuck?) and could not find it. What made this situation all the more maddening though was the fact that the game was on a TV at the bar inside. Intrigued by the inability of two, seemingly intelligent humans, to find a hockey game on a fucking TV, I joined the waitress inside. We asked the bartender (same guy as scenario 1, go figure!) to check what channel the TV was on, that was playing the game. Let me break down this conversation for you.

Waitress: "Hey can you check and see what channel this TV is on, he wants to watch the Blackhawks game and I can't find it outside."
Bartender: "No"
Me: "Well that went well"
Waitress: "Yah he's kind of a dick"

Eventually, we found the game and I watched the Hawks win. "So what's the big deal?" you say. Well, I'll tell you. I know its hard to navigate a computer or TV program you are not familiar with but there are certain things that everyone who works in a bar like Kouri's should know. People who go to Kouri's aren't going to ask you to turn it on Lifetime. They are going to watch sports. Moreover, they are probably going to watch local sports. So, all you need to know are the channels that are broadcasting the local teams on a given night. This is pretty easy to do, seeing as how the Journal Star publishes this list every day and the bar is equipped with a list of all channels on their box. More importanly, if this dickhead bartender would have just pointed the remote at the TV, clicked the channel down button, then taken that number and added a 1 (one), then I would have been able to watch the entire third period instead of the last 3 minutes and 46 seconds. Thanks alot dick. Rant over.

Kouri's is a good bar but not a great one. I don't see any reason why I should pay more money for a beer there than anywhere else in the area. I guess the people who go there feel better about themselves because they can afford to pay $7 (seven) for a pitcher of beer as opposed to the normal $5 one would pay just about anywhere else. To me, Kouri's is a place to stop by for a few drinks. I would never set up shop there for a marathon boozing session, it's just too expensive. The atmosphere is great, especially on nice days. Kouri's does have the best patio in town and this, I believe is what makes the place so popular. I'll give a half cheers to Kouri's. However, if scenarios one and two continue to play themselves out, I'll have no choice but to put Kouri's on my shitlist.b

Updare: Kouri's is officially on the shitlist. Go here to see why.

Ulrich's Rebellion Room (formerly Mushrush's)

Ulrich's is located at 631 Main Street in downtown Peoria. In case you don't know where the hell that is, it's the same building that used to be Sullivan's (not to be confused with Sully's or SOP's) right next to Deisel. You know, the place you go to when your girlfriend is out of town to show off your new shirt and get free drinks.

Ulrich's is really no different of a place now that Sully no longer owns and operates it. However, the crowd is a little different. For some reason, here in Peoria, if someone with the last name of Sullivan owns a bar, people who make over 100k a year frequent whatever that establishment is. Even if it happens to be on the 600 block of Main St. next to a gay bar. You don't believe me? Go down to Kelleher's on a Saturday night and count the number of Cadillacs and BMW's in the parking lot. Then try to go inside and get a beer for less than three dollars, not going to happen. Anyway, that's a topic for another day.

Ulrich's is styled (not surprisingly) like an Irish pub and does a pretty decent job of pulling it off. The bartenders still wear shirts and ties like they did when it was Sullivan's and there are still no TV's above the bar. The menu is short but has everything you could want from a bar with just a tiny flattop grill. Tuesday nights are free tacos and there is a rotating menu of free food on Friday nights as well. The kitchen is open till 4 AM. I've never eaten there that late but if I happened to find myself downtown in the wee hours with an empty stomach, I'd probably head to Mushrush's over Richard's or Hoops. If you've ever gone out all night drinking and then polished it off with the gut-busting grease bombs that Richard's calls food, you probably woke up the next morning feeling like a big bag of shit. I know I have. The food served at Ulrich's is not fried and most of their selections are actually pretty healthy, like the Cajun tuna and the grilled chicken sandwich.

One of the coolest things about Ulrich's is their smoking patio. There really isn't anything special about it, except for the fact that the smoking area is shared with Diesel next door. This makes for a nice little mix of bar-goers. Where else can you go to an Irish pub and have a smoke with the lively patrons of a gay bar? Its nice because you can get the feel of Diesel without having to actually go inside. If you do find yourself in Diesel, the shared smoking patio can come in handy. For those of you who don't know, the men's bathrooms in Diesel are....well intimate. Basically, if you are taking a piss in the urinal and someone opens the door, you find yourself somewhat exposed. Now, this may not seem like a bad thing but when you're as good looking as I am, it's hard enough to fight off the advances and rufied drinks of the gentlemen in the bar, without hanging my guy out there for all to see. So, if you're a smart man (or at least not a voyeur) you can slip out back and head into Mushrush's to use their clean and more private restrooms.

The food at Ulrich's has been featured on WEEK's "You Gotta Eat" and reviewed by associatedcontent.com. In case you're wondering where the hell the name Mushrush's came from, believe it or not, it's actually the former owner's last name. This past December Mushrush's was sold to the head bartender, Joe Ulrich. Mushrush himself though, will probably still frequent the place basically because he likes to party. Like gettin' drunk and dancing on tables kind of partying. I guess the technical term for that is par-tay. Well, I like to party too and Ulrich's is a good place to do it. So head on down grab a burger and a Guinness, than polish it off with a nice big shot of Michael Collins. If you're on Facebook check out their page for upcoming events and specials.

Cheers to Ulrich's and cheers to cooking good food for the good (drunk) people of Peoria!

Last Chance, a popular three-shift bar and weekend bro-fest

A fellow word-maker for the sake of a newspaper with me at the papah has consistently defended the right of downtown bars to maintain 4 a.m. liquor licenses. His argument for them is simple: Peoria is, and always has been a three-shift town.

And while there 

Update from I forgot when

Yeah, this place has been getting worse by the week. During the winter months, the smoking patio is fucking ridiculous. I've joked that when you're out there for any significant amount of time, it's like getting hickory smoked. Just cut off some arm meat, put it on a bun and call it "pulled person." 

Thursday through Saturday is especially ridiculous. The bar is packed with loud mouthed 21-year-olds who seem like they're getting drunk for the first time. 

And the music, dear God, the music. It's fucking horrible and good luck trying to do anything about it after 11, it's next to impossible. It's only going to get worse this summer. 

Update also from I forgot when

These improvements have come at a price however. The changes to the Chance have brought in a different crowd. I'm starting to see a lot less regulars and a lot more new faces. Sometimes change is a good thing and sometimes it's not. To be clear, I'm not hating on the people that have recently discovered the Chance, the majority of them seem really nice. But we all know how the loud voices/actions of a minority can taint a whole group of people. 

Another problem with the recent renovations regards the pool tables. The Chance has always been, primarily, a billiards bar and now a wrench has been thrown into that system. The dart board has been moved to a place where, if more than two people are playing, it makes it very difficult to play pool on either of the pool tables. I'm not bothered that I can't play as much pool as before (I'm sure there are many who are) my concern is, believe it or not, safety.

It's only a matter of time before some drunken asshole gets in a fight with another drunken asshole over the pool table/dart board. Unfortunately, this is a case where owner of the Chance is trying to squeeze every possible dollar he can out of the joint. I know, it's his bar and it's his prerogative but this is part of the reason why he's losing so many loyal customers.

Another reason, is the fact that several of the regulars' favorite bartenders have been replaced with younger, cuter, and less experienced girls. I'm sure they're real nice but it's a lot like your team trading away your favorite player for someone who has promise but just isn't quite as good.

Times change and people have to adapt, it just sucks to see place you love go to shit, which, unfortunately is what's happening to the Last Chance. I'll still be there several nights a week, just not for as long as before.

I guess we could always stage a mutiny and get some of our favorite bartenders back. You know, like in episode one from the sixth season of Cheers? What's that? You're not familiar with that episode? Well here, let me refresh your memory, (if you're impatient, skip to the 3:15 mark).

Original Review

The Last Chance Bar and Grill is located at 2713 W. Second St. in north Peoria. If that address sounds confusing it's because it is. The Last Chance can be found north of the Super Wal Mart on Allen Rd. This bar is the last chance to get something to drink if your destination is either Dunlap or Princeville. I don't know why it took me so long to write a review for this place (procrastination) but most of my friends and I go there a few times a week.

The Chance is a family owned bar and on a given night, is usually filled with the same group of regulars. The Chance has two pool tables and a dart board. Over the bar, there are three nice TVs. Beers are cheap, I always get a pitcher of Bud Light ($5) and Jameson ($4). There are nightly specials for drinks and daily specials for food but they change every week so you'll just have to take my word for it. During the day, the Chance is more restaurant than bar as they have an extensive breakfast and lunch menu. The hours for food are listed below. Butch's pizzas are always available, Sunday nights are free chili dogs and Monday nights are free tacos.

Every week the Last Chance holds a drawing. Ask the bartender to sign up and she'll give you a notebook to put your name in (no pseudonyms if you want to get paid). Once you're in, you're in every week. The drawing is held from 7-8 on Wednesday night and costs nothing to enter. The prize starts at $25 and moves up by $25 increments for every week without a winner. And if you win a decent amount of money (over $100), you are expected to buy the house a round, which, at the Last Chance is pretty cheap.

Saturday nights are always packed and sometimes it takes a while to get your drink, unless you're regular. Basically, the reason I like this place so much (besides the fact that I know a lot of regulars) is that you can have it your way (fuck you Burger King!). If you're in the mood to just sit at the bar and go numb, you can do that. If you're looking for some casual conversation, you can have that too. In short, there aren't a lot of abrasive personalities that hang out at the Last Chance. It's just a regular bar filled with regular folks. That may sound boring but, I think sometimes we all need a good shot of normalcy. I know I do.


Update II - Yah, this place has been getting douchier by the week. During the winter months, the smoking patio is fucking ridiculous. I joked that when you're out there for any significant amount of time, it's like getting hickory smoked. Just cut of some arm meat, put it on a bun and call it "pulled person." Thursdays through Saturdays are especially ridiculous with the bar packed to capacity with loud mouthed 21 year olds who seem like they're getting drunk for the first time. And the music, dear God, the music. It's fucking horrible and good luck trying to do anything about it after 11, it's next to impossible. It's only going to get worse this summer. Good luck barflies of Peoria!

Jimmy Earp's Hideaway

Jimmy Earp's is located at 1507 S. Laramie St. in South Peoria. It sits just a few blocks south of the Iron Rooster and a few blocks east of Jan's Tap, a nice little trifecta of neighborhood taverns. I'm not sure if this neighborhood has a name but it is frequently referred to in the bar paper as Limestone Township. I guess this is for a reason because the neighborhood in which these bars are located is bordered by Bellevue and South Peoria. Either way, it's a pretty rough neighborhood but definitely not the worst.

Long ago, in a galaxy far away (or right here in Peoria), when I was an amateur in the highly skilled game of bar frequenting, the Hideaway probably wouldn't have been my first (or second) choice. But one day, I just so happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to stop in. After a few drinks, some friends showed up and the regulars started pouring in. A short while later the band started setting up. Now, usually you wouldn't expect a neighborhood tavern to have a house band but the Hideaway does and they are lead by the owner Jimmy. I know everyone out there may not be as big a Kiss fan as I am but I think most will admit that some of there music is very likeable. Not to mention the fact that most cover bands don't play Kiss songs and if they do, it is almost guaranteed to be a cut-rate version of "Rock and Roll All Nite". Anyways, the rag tag group of musicians at Jimmy's that night started out their first of two sets with the Kiss classic "Strutter". I immediately fell in love with Jimmy's and can count this moment as the genesis of my love for dive bars.

That night was a few years ago but after going there this past weekend I can tell you not much has changed. The pool table still has some of the best shooters in town (male and female) and the shuffleboard table still sees a lot of action. By 8:00 the 5 poker machines are spoken for and the jukebox is cranked up to 11. The beer is cheap, $2 a bottle and mixed drinks/shots are cheap too, probably because the bar isn't crowded with all those fancy "top shelf" vodkas, tequilas, and whiskys. If you want a shot, your choices in those three fields of study would be: Smirnoff, Jose, and Jack, not a problem for most.

If any of my readers (all three of you) are reading this post thinking, "what's so special about this place other than your nostalgia" I have something that might peak your interest in the Hideaway. Actually I have three things; the Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night cash drawings. To put it simply: Entry Fee-none, Top Prize-$1200. I'll let that sink in for a minute.



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Done? Okay. Now, if you're thinking that this is just a ploy to fill the bar on a Saturday night I can tell you you are wrong. The girl who won two weeks ago was present Saturday night. Well, she didn't actually win, but her name was called for the top prize, unfortunately she was not there. So, when the time came (9:00) to draw a name the bartender gave her the honor. The person whose name was called wasn't there so every hour for the rest of the night a name is drawn for a $600 prize. I wasn't signed up but I gave the bartender my name and you can bet your freezing cold ass I'll be there as often as I can, barring extreme physical injury, jail, death, or the off chance I check in to rehab (not likely). I think what's most commendable about the weekly drawings, is the fact that Jimmy's has been robbed twice in the last month. The second robbery being the worst as the crooks got away with almost $1500. Any bar owner who takes a hit like that and still tries to give away large sums of money every week is my kind of guy and possibly a socialist.

Jimmy Earp's is great neighborhood bar and if you're not from the neighborhood, it can be a great place to hide away (god I'm fucking clever). So, sign up for the drawing and maybe you'll win some cash. If you do win however, I would advise you to buy a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, or else you might not make it out of there alive. Cheers to the Hideaway.