Things Unique to Peoria

Having lived here my whole life with the exception of a few years there are many things that I have discovered as being completely unique to our Fair City. Some of them are people, some of them are places, and others are things that we do all the time. I am hoping that this will become a regular feature of the PBR but I'm going to need your help in determining things that you can only find in Peoria. So, if you have any suggestions for possible topics, feel free to post them on the PBR Facebook page or e-mail me at peoriabarreview@yahoo.com.

The first of these things may or may not be familiar depending upon your age. To folks of my generation however (between 20 and 30 yrs. old), this first post should hit home. So, without any further ado, the PBR presents to you;

Things Unique to Peoria: The Yellow Lighter Conspiracy
A quick google search led to the discovery that the belief that yellow lighters are bad luck is held by folks all over. However, in Peoria it seems that amongst a certain set of people, this is no longer just a conspiracy but a fact that is beyond debate. I cannot count the amount of times I have seen someone chastised for any of the following reasons:

Trying to hand a yellow lighter to someone in order to light a cigarette or bowl
Having a yellow lighter on your person in someone else's car
Simply using a yellow lighter yourself

I have seen people throw yellow lighters out of car windows because they felt that unless they got rid of it, they would surely be pulled over. I have seen people throw the lighter into the street because it's simple presence in their garbage can was still enough to ensure bad luck. I will admit though, that there seems to be a higher level of paranoia amongst those who smoke the reefer (go figure). So, if you happen to be a smoker in the presence of other smokers and try to use your yellow lighter, be prepared. You have just opened up a Pandora's box of bad luck stories ranging from simply getting busted with pot, to yellow lighters playing an integral part in the J.F.K. assassination. It is not just stoners though, it seems that their paranoia has spread to the general public. Don't believe me? Go to any gas station and check out their lighter selection. I guarantee you the majority of lighters left in the display will be yellow. Check the picture above. Does this mean that Peoria is infested with pot smoking hippies hell bent on bringing down the yellow lighter industry? While I'll admit that Peoria seems to have a higher than normal ratio of smokers to non smokers, this is not the case. People generally go with the flow and when the majority of the people you know are completely against yellow lighters in any situation, then human nature takes over and yellow lighters are left stranded on counters throughout the land.

For example, I myself have never had a bad experience or any kind of bad luck in the presence of a yellow lighter. The reasons for this are two-fold. First, I have been in the presence of a YL only a handful of times in my entire life. Each time, the culprit was given a lecture on the subject and the YL was disposed of properly. In short, there was not really much of a chance for anything to happen. Second, I myself have never purchased or used a YL. I am a pretty superstitious person but most of these superstitions are based on actual bad things happening to me.* When it comes to yellow lighters though, I can't say anything bad has happened. So why am I so afraid of them? Probably for the same reason that I still don't eat meat on Fridays during Lent. It has burned into my brain that not doing either of these things will result in something terrible happening. Besides, who am I to test the lighter gods?

* For instance, I always wear a cup when I'm hanging out with my friend Silent Bob because one time, he kicked me square in the nuts.

So, while not completely unique to Peoria, the yellow lighters = bad luck superstition is still alive and well in the River City. I envision the day though where yellow lighters are no longer second class citizens. I still hold out hope that one day, they can serve their useful purpose right along side their red, blue, and green brothers. I however will not be the one to break the trend. Are you crazy? Those things are bad luck!!!

T.U.T.P. Scale
Thingness - 10/10
Uniqueness: 6/10
Quirkiness: 10/10
Peorianess*: 9/10

*"Peorianess" is a trademarked word created by TheChief on Thursday, June 3, 2010. Any and all use of this word without the expressed, written consent of the Peoria Bar Review is punishable by law.