Bananas Alehouse and Eatery

First of all let me just say that when this bar opened my friends and I went there all the time. It is located on Willow Knolls Rd. between Allen and Radnor which is very close to where most of my friends (boozehounds) live. We used to go up there every Thursday because they have $2 U Call - Its. We were the regulars and could pretty much do whatever we want. Some examples would be: smoking pot/cigarettes in the bathroom (post smoking ban) being loud and unruly, and generally obstructing normal people (non boozehounds) who were trying to enjoy their pinot noir or whatever stupid fucking drink they were drinking that costed more than 2 bucks. It was fun and sadly now it is just lame.

Beyond Thursdays the only good night to go there is Saturday when they have one dollar wells. By the way, I still feel like I'm getting ripped off by paying one dollar for a shot of Ten High. What, was Big Lots out of fucking Kessler? One good thing about Bananas is that they probably have the highest ratio of hot chicks to not hot chicks on Peoria's Northside. However, as many an experienced drinker will tell you wherever there are hot chicks getting plastered on dollar vodka tonics, there will inevetably be an inordinate number of sleazy douchebags in Affliction t-shirts. Six months ago you couldn't throw a rock in LA, NY, or Chicago without hitting some wanna-be trendsetter with one these shirts and fucking scarf (so your neck is cold but your arms aren't?) and now these hideous clothes have finally made their way to Peoria. The Affliction t-shirt fan club apparently meets every Saturday night at Bananas to discuss how awesome Seether is and drop crappy pickup lines on hot milfs and young up and comers in whore heels. Awesome.

Now, I will provide all you guys and girls out there with the real problem afflicting (see what I did there) this poor excuse for a bar. If your only goal for going out on a particular night is to pick up a piece of strange, or you wish you could afford more Ed Hardy shirts this place might be right for you. However if you have any intention of tracking more than one sporting event, you, my poor uninformed friend are shit out of luck. That is because Bananas has only one TV. That's right One. Fucking. Television.

On a recent Saturday, the majority of my friends (wastoids) were at Bananas and I was the Last Hurrah (a REAL bar) watching the ND Purdue game. I wanted to go there (you know 1TVBar) and join them but not until I was assured by one of my less drunk friends that he would make sure that Notre Dame football would be on. When I arrived, the 1TVBar was showing Texas Tech vs. Who Cares! It Texas Tech for fucks sake! Immediately I wanted to lace into this idiot, because on a Saturday night it takes approximately 1 hour to change the channel. He then informed me that someone had actually requested that the channel be changed to the Tech game. So I asked the bartender to change it back, which he did. In between the 3rd and 4th quarters I went outside to smoke and when I came back in I found myself watching Penn State vs. Iowa. Sigh. The two guys sitting next to me were the perpetrators of this act so I could not vent my frustration freely (was still too sober to start shit). So I did what any responsible fan would do and asked for the remote. So, for the next 30 minutes I dutifully switched back and forth between the two games, a task which I performed admirably due to years of armchair quarterbacking. Actually, I did it so well that a complete fucking stranger came up and congratulated me on my remote control prowess. So, ND won, Penn State lost and 1TVBar is officially on the shit list.

When this place first opened I understood that maybe it would take them a while to get a couple more LCD's but almost 3 years later it has not happened! This is an indefensible act.

Other notes on 1TVBar. The food sucks (except for Butch's pizza, which is always good) and you can only get it during the day. All they make is crappy sandwiches, chips and salsa and a buffet that has chili and some form of chicken tortilla soup that isn't as good as the retarded shit I put together after a night of hard drinking and usually involves noodles and leftover chicken wings. Another thing that drives me nuts about this shithole is the bathroom. There's a toilet and a urinal but for some reason whenever some D-Bag goes in there he locks the door like he has some embarassing medical condition that requires him to sit down when he pees. Whenever this would happen before I would just jiggle the handle until it unlocked itself (much to the dismay of Mr. Stage Fright) and went in there and pissed but now they have replaced that lock and it is no longer possible (trust me I've tried).

To sum up, if you just wanna go out, catch the game and get your drinks in a reasonable amount of time, don't go here on any Saturday or Thursday. The rest of the week is OK, except for the fact that the jukebox must be kept at the lowest level possible until 8:00 because of the fucking nail salon next door. Also Crazy Lady is there alot, I'll explain her later.

Update I: Monday nights are free pool and $4 domestic pitchers, Tuesdays are $2 Heineken and Shocktop and $3 Monster bombs

Update II: Banana's is under fire from the city liquor commision. Apparently they have a class 2 (I think) liquor license that requires them to have 25 or 30% of their profits be from food sales. Apparently, their lackluster menu wasn't quite cutting it because they've been using sales of things like orange juice and counting it as food. They'll probably get fined. Honestly I don't understand why they don't just pop for the class 1 liquor license. If they hadn't spent a bunch of money by having lawyers fight this thing, they might have had enough cash get the class 1 LL.